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It's always funny, until you show up after dark.

I'm for zero extension. You know what you have to do or you wouldn't be there, so do it. Too many players act like they're trying to catch a live Cobra. Lets see now, I need to approach with caution and stroke my snakecatcher tool into the air 6 times. Slow play is why there is a shot clock.

The sweetest refund sometimes doesn't result in cash in hand, but does involve steel toed boots in an alley during the negotiations.

No, you cannot borrow my cue.

Earl has similar straps to hold his big toes straight to the object ball.

Slow players... One I nicknamed Cobweb years ago. He plays 9 ball like it's one pocket. I have a lot of patience for anyone that has trouble walking around the table, especially in One Pocket. I won't play slow players. If they stare at a hanging ball too long, I'll usually announce "Extension...

Sometimes a scammer has to have their front teeth shown to them on steel-toed boots. Not everybody plays fair. My sister had her pool cue stolen and had an enforcer from a well known motorcycle gang call the thief where he tended bar. The cue appeared like David Copperfield pulled it from under...

Trickrackery title belongs to Dennis Orcollo. He previously won the gold medal in rack manipulation and ball placement for identical patterns.

Keep your magic shots at league or somebody will stuff your head into the side pocket.

You are who you vote for and you deserve it. I like the new $2800.00 GREEN tax on a kitchen gas stove. Come on, chip in. Foreign countries need this money.

If you want a real GPS tracker, deal with SpyTec out of NYC. Caught my wife of 46 years cheating on me in 2 days. What they have is worth every penny. Battery goes about 2 weeks before recharging. Yes, I divorced the bitch. I always thought a liquid mercury switch alarm that would scream in the...

I used to bet I'd make 20 consecutive spots shots from behind the line in less than 5 minutes. I had the guy betting, spot balls for me. After 18 shots, most would ask if they can back out of the bet. Don't get me wrong. I don't think this is any amazing fete, especially with 5" pockets on a...

I always think of my opponent as a victim. The game is this; shoot the balls in before they do. I play aggressive early on in a match and quite often it results in a 3 or 4-0 lead. Maintain control and weigh your choices carefully. If he hands me a point or two, he's the victim. I've had players...

JJ is probably the best commentator today, but I sure enjoy a match when Scott Frost is in the booth.

Pool is the only sport where a heroin addict is glorified and a tournament is named after them.

I hope they send him back to Scotland to stay.

I don't think play has resumed until the cue ball is hit with leather. If he drops it on the floor, you can't yell "Foul, cue ball off the table."

I'm too busy. I have a victim to play.

Sounds like reverse intake side-vacuum suck on the cue ball, usually applied with a 12mm Elkmaster tip at warp speed. Twirl the cue like an airplane propeller before the shot for maximum applause. Listen to the "wows" from the commentary booth.

Learn how to play well right out of the gate cold. It's a focused concentration thing. Your eyes see the shot and aren't lying to you. The first rack, evaluate the table speed and adjust your stroke accordingly. Dismiss negative thoughts, focus, gentle swing and stay down. Make your victim kick...