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I need lessons on which baggy shorts to wear with my ratty sneakers, how many tattoos I should have up and down both arms and legs, where I can get some ear stretching circles and a few lessons in profanity. No, I won't try to steal any cues. I don't do that anymore, or at least I try to not do...

Knowledge of 3 cushion and being proficient at it will develop your kicking skills. Controlled speed and minimum spin are the keys. I routinely torment players that think they have played a good safe in 9 ball and in One Pocket, I'll make them a firm believer. Know the right time to kick and the...

Don't bring your cobweb one pocket game to the 9 ball match. 30 seconds or ball in hand. How to delay the game and make it boring; Lay just the tip of your cue on the table and move the butt around to check the angle. Shake your head slightly left and right, as if it's an impossible shot that...

I learned how to replace my own tips many years ago. I sand the ferrule top with a Tweeten's tool, glue the tip and then wrap the ferrule twice with 3M nylon fiber tape. I use 1" wide sanding strips and keep replacing the tape when worn. When it's close to the right diameter, I use one wrap of...

If you ride the 9 on me and get a little sloppy, it means you've booked a game you cannot win. You're a victim.

One poolroom owner told me I would be asked to leave and banned if I placed the chalk face down on the rail. Playing so much 14.1 as a youngster, I don't think I ever put the chalk down face first. I fed coins in an older coke machine and the woman piped up "Don't open that for 5 minutes. I...

I don't cut this to my pocket, unless the cue ball is one diamond over on the short rail. You want a table that doesn't roll off and if you miss the ball completely, another one spots behind it. Cutting it left to bank one rail is also a critical hit.

Never let a rack manipulator rack the balls. You'd think at this top level, one wouldn't have to cheat.

The warning sign of a bad tip that may pop off, is usually a clicking noise. I've re-tipped many shafts and when there is blue chalk between the tip and ferrule, you get the clicking. The old Tweeten's glue did a superb job in it's day, but you had to pay attention to what you're doing. A cheap...

Mike was also a US Navy veteran. I'm fortunate that I own one of the last cues Mike made.

In the 80s, Efren got in a ring game, race to 10 in our poolroom. He beat the locals quite handily, displaying the master's cue skills every rack. He quit after one set when he found out the bet was $5 per man. True story...Pocket Billiard Lounge, Binghamton, NY, want to say 1985.

Here at the Post Office, we'll beat their price, but we won't deliver it until we're ready. Everything is "In Transit." Our storage out back gets down to -30 at night, but your cue will be safe. Call our 1-800-PAC-KAGE number to hear us laughing after a forklift runs over your cue. Ask for Joe...

Commentators should be told ahead of time, no nuthugging. Never heard Jeremy Jones or Billy Incardona do it, but be prepared to mute if you watch anything from NYC or Turning Stone.

So what, I've seen women pros throw chalk at each other and yell "Bitch" as it sailed through the air. Probably what Mika should have done, but I'm not throwing my Taom chalk at anybody. If you smack someone with the rack, use the large wooden one, not the Magic Rack.

Sometimes it doesn't matter the dollar amount, It's the principal....and that's where a good pair of steel toed boots come in handy. They leave a lasting impression and leave the wearer with complete satisfaction. Ask to see the teeth marks on mine.

Stole cues.....front teeth embedded in toe of steel toed boot.

I've seen them dump a tray of balls on the 3 cushion table too.

Impressive.

Predator stands behind their warranty. I have 5 Predator shafts. They're an excellent choice for carving someone up. If you lose, it's your aim.

Here at the Post Office, your package is revenue. Priority is a word to describe our employee break. Yes, we have bins of packages left over from Christmas. Tracking....hahahahahaha hilarious. (that'll be your footsteps in the snow.) It'll get there when it gets there. Did you call our 800...