I think the differences in opinion here are really about semantics, or how one interprets the words soft, hard, mellow, etc. as it applies to the 'hit' of a cue.
For this explanation/discussion, let's focus just on joint mtrl.
Regardless of the joint mtrl. chosen, what happens at the tip is the same for all cues.
The tip, upon striking the QB, initiates a vibration in the shaft. That vibration travels down the shaft to the joint. A wood to wood jnt. allows a purity of transmission of the vibration across the jnt. surfaces. The use of phenolic collars and rings does little to alter this to any great degree as long as there is still a wood to wood connection. These mtrls. will pretty much all vibrate in unison.
The steel joint, on the other hand is of such greater density mtrl. that it disrupts the pure transmission of the vibration. It can dull the vibration to the point that it can be described as 'mellow', but it is not pure. Now we're back to semantics, or one person's definition.
Steel jointed cues have always been known for a hard/firm hit. But that is actually up to the individual using the cue to make that determination. It could come down to something as simple as, "what are you used to?"
Not all builder's steel joints will hit the same. There are a world of factors to be considered. No builder should be upset that you prefer the hit of another builders cue. He has a client base, that appreciates how HIS cues hit.
You are fortunate in that you have so many builders to choose from.
When I speak of purity of hit, I mean the uninterrupted transmission of the initiated vibration. The use of the different woods chosen for the jnt., forearm & handle will have an effect on this. An abstract example of this is, Balsa ain't going to hit the same as Maple regardless of the jnt. type selected.
The purest hitting cue will always be the 1pc. house cue because there is no jnt. to cause disruption of the vibration.
Then there are those that feel that they don't like to feel too much vibration.
Again, this is purely a personal preference. Personally, I like a cue that 'talks' to me.