Are we sometimes too hard on ourselves?

oldplayer

oldplayer

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I started playing pool over 50 years ago. had some layoffs but always came back because I just love the game. in the past year I have tried really, really hard to get better and most of the time beat myself up pretty bad for losing a match. :speechless: I mean, WTF? in the last 12 months I have taken some lessons (6 total) and it really didn't improve my game as much as playing with someone who is better and willing to help you out. I always hear, "let's have fun tonight shooting..hell", I do not consider it fun, I think it more of a job. then yesterday I had the 14.1 playoffs. we have been playing for 14 weeks and were playing the finals. I came in second. then when I got home and while enjoying a fine cigar and Italian wine, I realized that I should not be so hard on myself. first, i am not EVER going to shoot like shane or play straight pool like mosconi. heck, they even miss. so i looked at the big picture, i will never quit the game, love it too much, i will never be a pro. in the last 12 months i have won first place in 9 ball on 2 occasions in a field of 30 or more including the young guns and came in second in straight pool yesterday. so it is not all bad and i should consider myself fortunate to even place in the events! do any of you sometimes beat yourselves up too much too? i still don't know if i can commit to "fun" though. :banghead:
 
oldplayer said:
I started playing pool over 50 years ago. had some layoffs but always came back because I just love the game. in the past year I have tried really, really hard to get better and most of the time beat myself up pretty bad for losing a match. :speechless: I mean, WTF? in the last 12 months I have taken some lessons (6 total) and it really didn't improve my game as much as playing with someone who is better and willing to help you out. I always hear, "let's have fun tonight shooting..hell", I do not consider it fun, I think it more of a job. then yesterday I had the 14.1 playoffs. we have been playing for 14 weeks and were playing the finals. I came in second. then when I got home and while enjoying a fine cigar and Italian wine, I realized that I should not be so hard on myself. first, i am not EVER going to shoot like shane or play straight pool like mosconi. heck, they even miss. so i looked at the big picture, i will never quit the game, love it too much, i will never be a pro. in the last 12 months i have won first place in 9 ball on 2 occasions in a field of 30 or more including the young guns and came in second in straight pool yesterday. so it is not all bad and i should consider myself fortunate to even place in the events! do any of you sometimes beat yourselves up too much too? i still don't know if i can commit to "fun" though. :banghead:
Click to expand...

Pick up the book "A Mind for Pool by Phil Capelle". I have a retired friend that spent a lot of time/money to become a great player (not pro by any means, but a great player). He also would get very frustrated even after his state championship helped validate his hard work.

It got to a point where he thought about giving up the game because of how frustrated he would get. I have him the book and he really felt it helped him a lot!
 
old player,

I think your Italian Wine & Cigar (was it Cuban?) have put you on the right path. I'll be 60 in Sept, & have been playing for 47 years. I HATE losing. I don't mind when someone beats me. I respect that. I just hate it when I lose. I just entered an in house 8 ball money league, my first league since my eye accident 20 years ago & I finished in 1st. But.. I lost in the playoffs. Please note that said 'lost' & not that I was beaten. I am sitting out this session for a few reasons & one of them is to punish myself for 'losing'.

I too simply love the game. I would be an amateur even if I was a profession. I play for the love of it. We will always be competitive. But...the competition is with ourselves. That is the nature of the game. It is very much like golf, except in pool the opponent can play defense against you. But even then the true competition is with yourself & your ability or inability to overcome.

Best Wishes with Your New Wine & Smoke Induced Outlook,
Rick

PS Maybe you should drink wine & smoke a cigar while you're playing.:wink:
 
Not too much anymore

I am 63 and been playing pool for over 50 years. I actually have tried to play for more than just fun for about 25. I had a serious handicap till I got cataracts because I was extremely far sighted. With the new lenses they put in my eyes, I see much better. I also play a lot better because I am retired now on top of being able to see better, and all I do is play pool most of the time. My goal is to be an A player. I know that is probably going to be about it for me now, and that is ok. When I leave the pool room, if I feel I played well, and didn't make too many stupid mistakes, I am ok with that. I don't like to lose, but knowing that I played well actually makes me feel better than winning a tournament, or finishing in the money or how I do in whatever competition I am in that day.
 
I have not been playing for 50 years. The best I've ever done in a tourney us 2nd and my coach was the first place winner. At the beginning I was quite content playing against harder players, then I started to beat myself up for playing (if I played good it was okay but the second I missed I was done there was no way for me to recover) it was miserable someone here said something that clicked and since. I know I have to forget what happened or will happen and just think of this shot. I'm still a SL 3 but now I'm happy.

Sent from my Nokia Lumia 920 Windows mobile phone using Board Express
 
oldplayer said:
in the past year I have tried really, really hard to get better and most of the time beat myself up pretty bad for losing a match.

in the last 12 months I have taken some lessons (6 total) and it really didn't improve my game as much as playing with someone who is better and willing to help you out.

I do not consider it fun, I think it more of a job.

then when I got home and while enjoying a fine cigar and Italian wine, I realized that I should not be so hard on myself.

i still don't know if i can commit to "fun" though. :banghead:
Click to expand...

1) You'll be more likely to improve if you don't have the threat of beating yourself up about not performing as well, since it is not a life-and-death situation.
2) Do you think that your harsh self-criticism is hindering the full potential of those lessons?
3) Work sucks. I like to think that I could make money playing pool, but I really enjoy it. When I enjoy something, I'm more likely to look at it with an inquisitive mind instead of an attacking kind of mindset.
4) You shouldn't be hard on yourself. You've done just fine. Relax, find what you enjoy about the game and play because you want to, not because you have something against losing.
5) I don't think I could commit to something that wasn't either fun or putting a roof over my head.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top