I can agree with you. The thing is that Ms. Crimi & I see one getting much of what one 'needs' very early on, most probably being helped by parents & maybe 'religion' or a spiritual up bringing, maybe from teachers in elementary school.
We learn more by the age of 6 quantitatively than we will learn in the rest of our lives.
If a child plays football from the time he is 5 & in the same system all the way until he is a Sr. in H.S., there is an extremely good chance that he will play better in that system than a guy that came to school last year & had never played football before but now wants to play football. Can that new guy learn the plays & the techniques? Sure. Will they be as second nature as the guy that has been doing it all since he was 5? I doubt it.
Does that mean that that new guy should not play football? No. And that other guy may have some tips for him to speed up the process & maybe get some of it to as close to second nature perhaps more quickly.
The guy playing since he was 5 may quit after his Sr. Year. The new guy may go on & become a coach.
Best 2 Ya.
Now we're onto something. Whether I approach a problem from a psychological or life coaching perspective - your childhood is the most important time of your life for the reasons you outlined; the differing opinion, though, is that one field thinks that the effects can't be overcome fully, and the other field thinks it can.
More personal information here but the reason I have that approval-seeking behavior problem is because of my childhood, it's the same reason I have a core belief of "powerlessness." As an explanation, "powerless" people only feel confident when they truly know the ins and outs of whatever skill/hobby/etc. they are involved in and as a result usually are very high achievers.
Now, onto my favorite portion of psycholoy/science: neurology. It's pretty well proven that your brain goes through a constant process of wiring and re-wiring, creating and destroying neural pathways.Your brain follows the pathway that is clearest and deepest; same as elephants marching through the jungle. It's obvious that the more you engage in the skill/hobby the deeper and clearer the path becomes; which is where the problem and solution arises.
The child who starts younger creates the pathway earlier giving him the advantage over someone who starts later and this is where things get dicey: how many factors affect the depth, and creation speed of those pathways? Different fields have different answers for that and different approaches.
With that in mind, I believe that there are factors that psychology ignores that affects those pathways so it's my belief that someone who starts later can use more methods to create those pathways. Basically, the younger player is car A maintaining a speed of 55mph, and the older player is car B maintaining a speed of 60 mph. Over time, the older player overtakes the younger player.
I think it's also important to differentiate between
self-confidence, and self-efficacy. The two are related for sure, but the relationship isn't all too clear cut. Self-confidence is defined as a trust or assertion in oneself, while self-efficacy is the person's belief in their capability to reach an outcome. People with low self-confidence can have high degrees of self-efficacy, and people with very high confidence can also have low levels of self-efficacy.
Another thing to note is that self-confidence wavers from situation to situation, or rather it is often context-specific. In general, I have a high level of self-efficacy but you'll see my confidence waver in different situations. You'll see SVB play confidently at the table, but you may see him shake giving a public speech. That's to say that he doesn't feel confident giving the speech, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't think he can't reach the outcome of giving the speech.
That was a lot to write without losing focus. If I missed anything, or if anything is unclear I'll be happy to clarify.
-Richard
