Fake it till you make it.

[rayjay]

I also agree that the root of all of our attempts to improve on our lot is based on one's self acceptance. Until that comes along there are simply tricks that people can use to get to that point. I have said for years, that unlike my colleagues in medicine, I do not carry a black bag. I have an imaginary bag of tricks, tricks that work for some people, some of the time. But any trick is only as good as the result it produces.

Great articles, Joe, thank you! I just printed them and will reread several times. As a psychologist in private practice, I frequently use hypnotic technique with my patients and apply to my own game and life. I've been using imaging technique with patients for a long time and for many, many other things, including pool, most recently today during a 25 minute MRI on my back. I personally connected with "The Pleasure of Small Motions" but also enjoyed Kenneth Baum's "The Mental Edge"...your opinions on these would be appreciated. Thanks again for contributing here on AZ...The power of the mind is truly amazing!

 

[chefjeff]

Hi Darby:
I think it is part of the human condition to not readily accept what others say. And that is as it should be. Ever notice that you can never win an argument with anyone. None-the-less we all change over time. So in some way we do have an effect on each other. It is more a matter of how it is done. For my part I try to make suggestions that others can try and then evaluate for themselves. I think, and have always believed, that the truth speaks for itself. Sometimes I get close and with the help of others the idea gets refined and -- there ya go -- the truth is revealed in all its pristine glory. Of course some people have another agenda and they can't see the truth when it stares them in the face. Some truths we only see when we have a need to see them.

(snip)

The title of this thread begins with "Fake it..." My first thought on this was, "Oh great, another way to lie to yourself." Having used affirmations for over 25 years, I've come to view them in a different light lately.

My problem with some affirmations (physical, as you advocate here, or mental as many advocate) is that many times the technique is to say (or do) something that is NOT true as if it is already true. For example, "I play well during league play" is one suggested, if I do not currently play well in league. It is to be said, even if (especially if) I do NOT currently do well in league play, so as to improve my play by reprogramming my mind with this affirmation. Right? That's the theory, anyway.

But the affirmation--that I am purposely planting in my mind!--is not true!...so saying or doing something that is not true is lying to oneself. Is this a good, long-term strategy? I am beginning to think not. It's like a drug high: it feels good for a while, but doesn't necessarily lead to long-term happiness. It tends to clutter up the mind which means the mind needs to be cleaned up eventually to function at its best, and this is unnecessary and wasteful, imho.

So, I've restructured my affirmations with "...ing". This puts me into A PROCESS of growing, not merely affirming a final destination. Thus, this is integrated with honesty. I am proclaiming myself as involved in a process of growth by using better affirmations, in this example: "I continue the process of playING better and better in league." This statement is honest and therefore is more acceptable and valuable to my mind, as it fits with current reality. It is not a lie.

So, my suggestion to anyone here is to use Joe's suggestion with a kicker: Make sure you understand the PROCESS you are in and consciously reinforce the fact that you are in the PROCESS of playing better and better, as opposed to pretending something that is not real. "I play better by integrating my walk and talk" might be one such way of doing this.

This subtle, but powerful, change has made a big difference in my use of affirmations and personal growth...so far.

Jeff Livingston

 

[JoeW]

I think that over the long hall ChefJeff is undoubtedly correct. Lying to self does not work. In the first place the sub / unconscious part of yourself recognizes a lie and discounts the information. When we use affirmations of any sort the process should (and does whether we like it or not) involves the concept that we are suggesting to our selves that we "try" to act or believe in this way. The sub / unconscious may then respond with something like "OK, I'll give this a try." The proof is in the pudding and if it works then it can be incorporated into the behavioral / cognitive pattern. In the deepest, dark of the night we always are confronted with who we really are. Jeff's point about recognizing that we are "trying" something new is the realization of the truth of the matter.

Thanks for the support RayJay, I hope that you will have much more to say. I have read and very much enjoyed Bob Fancher's book. He makes many good points. I think that the topics he addressed are in general excellent and certainly useful for anyone to consider. He does not discuss some topics that I have been addressing here from a behavioral stand point.

My preference is to cite references or at least sources that the individual can check. I also prefer to suggest techniques the individual can try to determine if the suggested change is useful. I think Fancher could have done more of this in his text. In my thinking, suggestions should always include a way to determine if the change is useful to another person. While people understand the ideas that are presented many people do not have the training that enables them to evaluate a new idea and its personal usefulness. I think that one of the most significant services we can provide is a way to view and evaluate new ideas.

I have not read Baum's text but have it on order along with Loehr's work. I am not a "sport psychologist" by training but will be getting up to speed on these topics over the next few months.

I think that I will be writing a column on the contributions of psychology to playing pool and will include a review of other texts as part of that review. I have written a column on playing pool in the past and find it very enjoyable. It is good to be back in the arena again where we can share the insights from psych and other social sciences as they contribute to the best of all sports.

-- Note
Seems I have to edit every post that is pasted from MS Word. The AZB Post a Reply does not recognize grammatical marks such as quotes. Does anyone know how to fix this problem?

 

[JoeyA]

The title of this thread begins with "Fake it..." My first thought on this was, "Oh great, another way to lie to yourself." Having used affirmations for over 25 years, I've come to view them in a different light lately.

My problem with some affirmations (physical, as you advocate here, or mental as many advocate) is that many times the technique is to say (or do) something that is NOT true as if it is already true. For example, "I play well during league play" is one suggested, if I do not currently play well in league. It is to be said, even if (especially if) I do NOT currently do well in league play, so as to improve my play by reprogramming my mind with this affirmation. Right? That's the theory, anyway.

But the affirmation--that I am purposely planting in my mind!--is not true!...so saying or doing something that is not true is lying to oneself. Is this a good, long-term strategy? I am beginning to think not. It's like a drug high: it feels good for a while, but doesn't necessarily lead to long-term happiness. It tends to clutter up the mind which means the mind needs to be cleaned up eventually to function at its best, and this is unnecessary and wasteful, imho.

So, I've restructured my affirmations with "...ing". This puts me into A PROCESS of growing, not merely affirming a final destination. Thus, this is integrated with honesty. I am proclaiming myself as involved in a process of growth by using better affirmations, in this example: "I continue the process of playING better and better in league." This statement is honest and therefore is more acceptable and valuable to my mind, as it fits with current reality. It is not a lie.

So, my suggestion to anyone here is to use Joe's suggestion with a kicker: Make sure you understand the PROCESS you are in and consciously reinforce the fact that you are in the PROCESS of playing better and better, as opposed to pretending something that is not real. "I play better by integrating my walk and talk" might be one such way of doing this.

This subtle, but powerful, change has made a big difference in my use of affirmations and personal growth...so far.

Jeff Livingston

Jeff, I like the idea that you are cautious about how you word your affirmations. Is there any chance that you might be willing to share your list with me? For the record, I may be doing something PUBLIC with a list of affirmations and any information that you share with me will be made public so if it is private and you want to keep it private, please do not share it with me.

I have gotten away from affirmations for the last two years but plan on getting back to them as I believe in them, whether they be read out loud, to oneself or listened to in a reduced conscious state. (Stay away from this one Smorgasbored)

Thanks,
JoeyA

 

[cplayermagic]

You spelled 'affect' wrong. Maybe you 'faked' having a degree until you 'made' it in art class.

 

[JoeW]

Thank you for pointing out the grammatical errors.

The computer center at my university usually published a side bar in their newsletter that said:

"When you find something wrong here please consider the idea that we try to put something here for everyone."

Affect: verb to produce an influence.
Effect: noun to bring about or cause.

I spend too much time with effects; they affect my style of writing. However, my affected editors usually correct my grammar.

Never did get that art degree, though I was a professional photographer for many years and I do enjoy oil painting.

 

[JoeW]

Bye for now.

Kay and I are off to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary at a restaurant that charges far too much money. You only go around once, so we?ll talk with all you folks later ? I think we?re going to make a night of it. Now, if I can only persuade her to try that new pool hall over there.

 

[JoeyA]

Kay and I are off to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary at a restaurant that charges far too much money. You only go around once, so we?ll talk with all you folks later ? I think we?re going to make a night of it. Now, if I can only persuade her to try that new pool hall over there.

Happy Anniversay!
Enjoy,
JoeyA

 

[Cue Freak]

Happy Anniversary Joe! And thanks for the articles, they are very much appreciated!!

Matt

 

[Pushout]

Thanks Joe. I enjoy reading your posts and threads.
I attempt to be open minded but am not always acceptive of others ideas.
Don't know is it's because of my self-centerness or if it's part of the human condition.
I do know that when I feel good about myself, I have a better chance to be successful in all areas of my life.
I can try to behave/act a certain way or try to control my environment, or even attempt to control others, but if I'm not content with myself inside, I won't have longtime success in anything that I do. I guess that's why it's called "Self Esteem".

Timothy Gallwey wrote a book "The Inner Game Of Tennis", that has helped my pool game.

This is a GREAT post!! Rep for you!

 

[chefjeff]

I think that over the long hall ChefJeff is undoubtedly correct. Lying to self does not work. In the first place the sub / unconscious part of yourself recognizes a lie and discounts the information. (snip)

Really? I've always heard that the subconscious has no idea what is true or real but just takes in whatever information one's mind allows it to have. It is said that the subconscious cannot tell the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined "experience." I've often wondered if this often repeated concept is true...you're saying it is not. I must know why.

How does the subconscious mind recognize a lie? And how does it discount a lie? And why do so many mind "experts" say otherwise?

Thanks for your time here, Joe, and happy anniversary,

Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

Jeff, I like the idea that you are cautious about how you word your affirmations. Is there any chance that you might be willing to share your list with me? For the record, I may be doing something PUBLIC with a list of affirmations and any information that you share with me will be made public so if it is private and you want to keep it private, please do not share it with me.

I have gotten away from affirmations for the last two years but plan on getting back to them as I believe in them, whether they be read out loud, to oneself or listened to in a reduced conscious state. (Stay away from this one Smorgasbored)

Thanks,
JoeyA

Sure JoeyA, I'd be happy to share some of my affs with ya. I'm not sure my exact affirmations fit you and your life, but I'll list a few with the reasons behind them so you (and others here) can possibly use them as is or adjust them to your life and goals.

First, let me explain affirmations better. Affirmations are merely statements made to oneself that describe the you you want to become. They are comprised of 5 "P"s:

1.) POSITIVE
2.) POWERFUL
3.) PERSONAL
4.) PRESENT TENSE
5.) PROCEDURAL

I've just recently included number 5, PROCEDURAL, to my list. This jives with the post of mine you quoted, re honesty of affirmations. Wording them as a process, vs. an end result, allows me to not lie to myself about my situation and my goals. Here's a comparitive example:

The old way: "I love being the state champion." Positive (champion), Powerful (love), Personal (I), Present tense (no "will love" or "try" or...). The problem is, I am not currently the state champ, so my love of having that is a projection into the future, not a current reality. That is a lie. Now, sometimes it is OK to lie (no Jews live here, e.g.) but I've found that lying to oneself about oneself doesn't work for me. There's a nagging annoyance ringing in my head that blocks the flow of power when I lie this way.

So here's the new way: "I love building my game to win state." Positive, Powerful, Personal, Present tense ("...building..." means I'm in that process right now), and Procedural (..."buildING" means I'm doing something about it as I go along in life, not magical acheivement via words, but real values created by action).

So, if an opponent leaves me on the rail with a long tough shot, I say to myself (and sometimes them): "I love making this shot." I don't say, "I will..." as that is not present tense.

And...for those of you who are thinking, "This is silly to talk to oneself this way, I'm not going to do that." You've just proven that talking to oneself is done. Now the question becomes, "What do I want and what will I say to myself to help get that?"

Jeff Livingston

Here's some other affs I've used (before adding "P" #5)...Please share your own, too...

I love doing my affirmations daily.
My bridge is firm and solid.
My grip is light and secure.
I deserve to make this shot.
I'm honestly integrating my life with pool.
That pocket is as big as a trash can!
Goodbye 9-ball.

 

[lfigueroa]

This is a new technique that I tried last night. It is based on my years of experience as a professional psychologist and scientist. The finding is strong enough that I think that it needs its own thread with some of my other articles. First, the trick and then why it works -- and it does work.

You have a way of walking when you are in a really good mood. Maybe it's that John Travolta walk from "Saturday Night Fever." Whatever it is, there is a bounce to your step, a musical rhythm to your walk that simply feels good. Perhaps you need an Ipod plugged into your ear to get in the mood. Whatever your style is, when you get up to shoot, walk to the table with that walk and that rhythm -- I'm in a great mood walk. It will put you in the right frame of mind and then use your usual techniques for staying in that mood while you walk around the table and shoot.



I enjoyed your post on this subject and think it could help many folks. But I'm curious to know if the concept shouldn't be fine tuned a bit? I mean, feeling good or happy might help your pool game, but when I think of the times I go to the pool hall and am in a great mood, it's usually because of something that's going on in my life unrelated to pool. So, in a way, my being happy actually has certain elements of distraction to it centered on something outside my pool game.

What I'm suggesting is that rather than trying to be in a good mood, you try and put yourself where you might be when you're in "dead stroke," or at least, playing good. I think most of us who have been at the game for any amount of time have enjoyed passing through that fugue state of dead stroke. And while there we can often times step outside ourselves and be aware that we're not only performing at a higher level, but that there is a certain effortlessness about the whole thing and that, in some unidentifiable way, we're doing things differently.

I recall, when I was a teenager and had the opportunity to watch Mosconi when he'd come to town, afterwards I'd run to the pool table and try and imitate his quick, graceful style. And in at least some small measure, I felt and performed a little like Mosconi at the table.

So maybe we shouldn't just go to the table and try and be in a good mood. Maybe we should go to the table and try and be in dead stroke mood instead.

Lou Figueroa

 

[JoeW]

This is a lengthy answer but it?s a tough question about the role of the unconscious in life, let alone playing pool. I am addressing Jeff's comment and Lou's comment in the same reply.

Do the sub / unconscious processes recognize a lie?

Well first allow me to distinguish between the two. The subconscious includes those things that you can bring into awareness but are not currently aware of, such as the way your socks feel right now or the emotional response to that fellow at work.

The unconscious includes those things you are not aware of but which influence you life, such as why you cannot quit smoking though you want to quit. Perhaps for you its losing body weight but I will use smoking for the example.

In my thinking the unconscious basically runs your life, whether you like it or not.

You have decided to quit smoking. You never light a cigarette all morning and are pleased with your attempt. Then as you drive down the street you notice a women walking along the sidewalk and you turn to watch as you attempt to figure out if she has a bra on. This leads to other thoughts about women, the woman in your life, and similar matters. At the next red light you find yourself with a half burned cigarette. "Oh, what the hell," you say to yourself, and continue finishing the smoke. Maybe tomorrow I'll quit.

The unconscious does not buy your "lie," that quitting smoking is good for you. And so it nudges your head to look at that woman and lights a cigarette while those thoughts roam through your mind.

The unconscious knows its "truth," that the anti-depressant effect you obtain from smoking is more beneficial than the hassle of quitting. It really does not believe that you well get cancer, emphysema, and your wife will no longer love you.

Truth is a relative matter and the unconscious has truths which may or not agree with your perceptions.

In my work one learns to get along with the unconscious and its perceptions of the truth. The process is one of gentle persuasion to try new things that may be found to be true for that person and their life style.

Truth to the unconscious is based on associative learning and what works to resolve the issues in the person's life. You cannot tell a person that they are a good person if the unconscious does not perceive the truth in this idea. You have to prove it to be true.

In this sense, I often disagree with some of my colleagues. The unconscious is a very sophisticated part of the total personality that has values, ideals, and preferred ways of viewing and interacting with the world. It is not simply a programmable machine.

Until it learns to trust you, the unconscious is usually a hidden portion of ones personality, not recognizable to the person. None-the-less you can get some ideas about its presence and its functioning as follows.

Consider some of the things you truly detest, with no sound foundation. Let's say you don't like to eat fish. You know there is no good reason for this, aside from some experience as a child. None-the-less, you avoid fish and many of the people around you eat fish and find that you are somewhat silly in your dislike. You are in control - right. OK, go and eat a big fish dinner and enjoy it. Observe your own behavior, attitudes, and general reaction to eating a very fishy dinner. You will have lots of excuses, lots of rationalizations, and you may even become physically sick. It is just not true for you that fish is good. When people challenge you your response is like Popeye's, I yam what I yam.

Can that "truth" be changed? Yes, but it is not as easy as some people think. It is not simply a matter of reprogramming. One must demonstrate to the unconscious that some new, alternate method works and is therefore good and true for the person's adjustment.

Using the "walk" is simply a matter of altering one's emotional reaction to playing pool. It will work for awhile and can be used to begin a change in one's approach to the game. If the technique does not work because it is not "true" for the person it will fail. That is, they may believe that pool playing is an aggressive challenge that requires anger, and determination. Then simply assuming a "walk" will not work because it does not meet the truth requirements for that person's style.

On the other hand, if the person is open to new ways of playing and seeks a solution to problems with playing pool, the unconscious will try this approach to determine if there is any truth in it. If it is found that one's game improves the unconscious will use is own methods that have been successful in the past (are true) and incorporate this new approach into its usual style. In this sense the new technique is a way to break through some old barriers.

Note that the person needs to recognize a need for improvement and be actively seeking methods to make their game better.

Lou wrote, "What I'm suggesting is that rather than trying to be in a good mood, you try and put yourself where you might be when you're in "dead stroke," or at least, playing good."

I agree that this would work if the person knows what dead stroke is. That is they have been in dead stroke before. Dead stroke includes feeling of competence, free flowing play and allowing the unconscious free reign. The "walk" is about assisting the person get into dead stroke. It is but a trigger. I suspect that this agrees with your thinking.

And of course this is my thinking on the topic. Another psych might see it a different way. What has been presented here are some of the ideas that I have found useful when helping people address a problem in their life. For me this type of thinking is "true." It may not be true for you.

 

[akaTrigger]

I love this thread! Thank you!

I sometimes "act" confident to try and get back to being confident - I deliberately sit up a little bit straighter and walk around the table taller. It truly is amazing when one tries to act confident and then they become confident.

For example, I have seen players slouching in their chair in frustration. When they get back to the table, are they gonna be playing well? I didn't see that happen to them.

I look forward to reading your articles.

As a suggestion, you may want to contact Mike Howerton of AZB and see if you should become a columnist.

Thanks again - I'm already printing this entire thread.
Melinda

 

[JoeW]

Thank you Melinda. It is good to hear that this technique works for some people. It makes it potentially useful to others.

It would be interesting to hear if others have tried the "walk" and what they found. Given my last post you can see that I think that it will work for some and not for others.

Mike and I have discussed the idea of a column and I think that he is thinking about it now. More later when I know more.

 

[chefjeff]

This is a lengthy answer... (snip)

Joe, you are the new man!

Thank you so very much for the time you put into that reply. I'm sure it will be helpful to all here.

I have another question, but I've forgotten it for the moment...I'll get back to ya when my mind revs up to speed.

Jeff Livingston

 

[JoeyA]

Joe, you are the new man!

Thank you so very much for the time you put into that reply. I'm sure it will be helpful to all here.

I have another question, but I've forgotten it for the moment...I'll get back to ya when my mind revs up to speed.

Jeff Livingston

What I want to know is, is that pocket really as big as a trash can?
Just funnin' with ya. I liked your affirmations.
JoeyA

 

[JoeW]

I was watching Bert Kinnister?s first video tape the other day. In one of his shots he has the student shoot from the end of the table, over the corner pocket and slow roll the cue ball to pocket an object ball in the opposite corner. The interesting aspect was in the idea that he was teaching about the ?fat? side of the pocket by having the student place a piece of chalk in the object ball pocket before shooting.

From a psych perspective I like this idea becasue it teaches in a physical way that pockets are indeed quite large and that the ?fat? side is what should be aimed at as needed.

I think that one of the reasons that Kinnister is so popular is his high level of energy and his obvious enthusiasm for the game.

However, the pockets get smaller the longer I play in a tense game --- why is that?

 

[JoeyA]

However, the pockets get smaller the longer I play in a tense game --- why is that?

Don't know why those pockets get smaller when you play in a tense game but I suggest you use Chef Jeff's affirmation about the pocket being large as a trash can.
JoeyA