This is the latest blog entry from the ever so witty OMGWTF.
This time, she talks about the fashion scene in the US Open.
Enjoy,
Richard
This time, she talks about the fashion scene in the US Open.
Enjoy,
Richard
Fashion Report of the US Open from OMGWTF
- Thread starter X Breaker
- Start date
Here it is, and you can go to her blog for the pictures.
I have to confess that I sent her a donation, hoping she would say something nice about me next time...
So...here we go...
Observations
Scott "The Freezer" Frost [USA],
it was only a matter of time before I painted your portrait in typographic pixels. I usually see you in oversized white polo shirts horizontally striped with one or a combination of the following colors: red, orange, or yellow. It is not an unpleasant look. For one thing, I'm always reminded of McDonald's when I see you sporting your Sean John gangsta plumage and I remember how much I like their French/Freedom fries. It's a pleasant memory: golden-crisp fries drenched in trans-fats and liberally sprinkled with sodium. However, your inexplicable short-sleeve plaid shirt in yellow and black (I immediately thought of Paul Bunyan and a Giant Bumblebee locked in Mortal Combat a la King Kong and Godzilla) brought back memories of a different sort--memories of Old MacDonald. Old MacDonald, as in the farmer of that children's song that was the soundtrack to my tormented and traumatic childhood.
Please utilize a milder plaid in the future and my eyeballs, drenched as they are in Stoli from the night before, will be forever grateful.
As wildly varied as your choice of clothing may be, Mr. Frost, I must raise a glass of strong alcoholic brew to the fact that your eyebrows are always, ALWAYS perfectly arched. How is that? Do you get your eyebrows done at a salon? If so, what salon? They do a DAMN good job. If you wax/tweeze/arch them yourself, may I inform you that women pay upwards of $40 to have their brows shaped as wonderfully as yours? If the one-pocket thing doesn't pan out, let me know, and I'll refer all my Los Angeles gal pals to your salon. When you open your salon. You WILL open a salon, won't you? We eagerly await the establishment of your temple of beauty.
Speaking of crazy patterns, Mr. Richard Chan [vendor, X-Breaker], that brown and baby blue bias-plaid/weave patterned shirt you had was--trippy! You had the shiny trendy spiky hair, cool eyeglasses, and the air of "I Am An Uber-Trendy Asian--You Only Wish You Looked This Good" attitude to match. However, I would suggest wearing black pants with that shirt next time. Nothing says "Martial Arts Master Assassin Masquerading As Mild Mannered Cue Dealer" quite like a loud shirt and sleek black pants.
Tang "Texas Hold 'Em" Hoa [USA],
I am mesmerized by your bald pate. I would love to put my skills as a pastry chef to use by slathering Pillsbury vanilla frosting (currently on sale, two for $5) on your dome to create a Winter Wonderland tableaux. The front of your head, with its gentle slant will be the perfect bunny slope, and the more aggressively vertical back of your head is the ideal double black diamond. I will have a tiny helicopter on that side drop off masked ski men with automatic machine guns. They will be chasing the tiny James Bond figure heading for the nape of your neck.
About Schmidt--John Schmidt [USA, 1st - $40,000]--the 2006 U.S. Open 9-Ball Champion,
let me take this moment to tell the world that you do a hell of a chicken dance. For once, my sides were splitting from laughter and not because someone kicked me in the ribs because of some s--- I said. Sorry if this is classified information you didn't want leaked, but just go look at your trophy and giant check and you'll feel better.
Shorties
Jeremy Jones [USA],
that was a cool shirt you had on. I liked the refreshing colors and the variegated stripe widths and pattern. I'm so used to your poker-face persona I had prematurely relegated you to the group of men who dress in colors usually reserved for baby food.
Marcus "Napoleon" Chamat [SWE] vs. Ronato "Ronnie The Volcano" Alcano [PHL].
When I saw this match, it looked like the beginning of a bad joke: "A Short Scandinavian and a Tall Filipino walk into a bar..."
Shannon Daulton [USA],
I covet your lush eyelashes.
Stevie Moore [USA],
you are a much, much more handsome version of Ray Romano.
Encore
Mika Immonen [FIN],
you look so cute in that short-sleeved white shirt. I want to knot a narrow black tie around your neck, hand you a Bible and--presto!--you're a Mormon.
In Parting
Go easy on the crazy plaids, yeah?
Tuck in your shirts--I don't need to see the Harry Brothers (Back, Belly, and Crack) when you stretch.
Don't sleep in the stands. You know who you are.
I have to confess that I sent her a donation, hoping she would say something nice about me next time...
So...here we go...
Observations
Scott "The Freezer" Frost [USA],
it was only a matter of time before I painted your portrait in typographic pixels. I usually see you in oversized white polo shirts horizontally striped with one or a combination of the following colors: red, orange, or yellow. It is not an unpleasant look. For one thing, I'm always reminded of McDonald's when I see you sporting your Sean John gangsta plumage and I remember how much I like their French/Freedom fries. It's a pleasant memory: golden-crisp fries drenched in trans-fats and liberally sprinkled with sodium. However, your inexplicable short-sleeve plaid shirt in yellow and black (I immediately thought of Paul Bunyan and a Giant Bumblebee locked in Mortal Combat a la King Kong and Godzilla) brought back memories of a different sort--memories of Old MacDonald. Old MacDonald, as in the farmer of that children's song that was the soundtrack to my tormented and traumatic childhood.
Please utilize a milder plaid in the future and my eyeballs, drenched as they are in Stoli from the night before, will be forever grateful.
As wildly varied as your choice of clothing may be, Mr. Frost, I must raise a glass of strong alcoholic brew to the fact that your eyebrows are always, ALWAYS perfectly arched. How is that? Do you get your eyebrows done at a salon? If so, what salon? They do a DAMN good job. If you wax/tweeze/arch them yourself, may I inform you that women pay upwards of $40 to have their brows shaped as wonderfully as yours? If the one-pocket thing doesn't pan out, let me know, and I'll refer all my Los Angeles gal pals to your salon. When you open your salon. You WILL open a salon, won't you? We eagerly await the establishment of your temple of beauty.
Speaking of crazy patterns, Mr. Richard Chan [vendor, X-Breaker], that brown and baby blue bias-plaid/weave patterned shirt you had was--trippy! You had the shiny trendy spiky hair, cool eyeglasses, and the air of "I Am An Uber-Trendy Asian--You Only Wish You Looked This Good" attitude to match. However, I would suggest wearing black pants with that shirt next time. Nothing says "Martial Arts Master Assassin Masquerading As Mild Mannered Cue Dealer" quite like a loud shirt and sleek black pants.
Tang "Texas Hold 'Em" Hoa [USA],
I am mesmerized by your bald pate. I would love to put my skills as a pastry chef to use by slathering Pillsbury vanilla frosting (currently on sale, two for $5) on your dome to create a Winter Wonderland tableaux. The front of your head, with its gentle slant will be the perfect bunny slope, and the more aggressively vertical back of your head is the ideal double black diamond. I will have a tiny helicopter on that side drop off masked ski men with automatic machine guns. They will be chasing the tiny James Bond figure heading for the nape of your neck.
About Schmidt--John Schmidt [USA, 1st - $40,000]--the 2006 U.S. Open 9-Ball Champion,
let me take this moment to tell the world that you do a hell of a chicken dance. For once, my sides were splitting from laughter and not because someone kicked me in the ribs because of some s--- I said. Sorry if this is classified information you didn't want leaked, but just go look at your trophy and giant check and you'll feel better.
Shorties
Jeremy Jones [USA],
that was a cool shirt you had on. I liked the refreshing colors and the variegated stripe widths and pattern. I'm so used to your poker-face persona I had prematurely relegated you to the group of men who dress in colors usually reserved for baby food.
Marcus "Napoleon" Chamat [SWE] vs. Ronato "Ronnie The Volcano" Alcano [PHL].
When I saw this match, it looked like the beginning of a bad joke: "A Short Scandinavian and a Tall Filipino walk into a bar..."
Shannon Daulton [USA],
I covet your lush eyelashes.
Stevie Moore [USA],
you are a much, much more handsome version of Ray Romano.
Encore
Mika Immonen [FIN],
you look so cute in that short-sleeved white shirt. I want to knot a narrow black tie around your neck, hand you a Bible and--presto!--you're a Mormon.
In Parting
Go easy on the crazy plaids, yeah?
Tuck in your shirts--I don't need to see the Harry Brothers (Back, Belly, and Crack) when you stretch.
Don't sleep in the stands. You know who you are.
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I like her blog a lot-Those Neologisms on there now are hilarious. She didnt write them but she found them.
Her Reno Report was funnier than the Open, of course it helps to have Bernie for material. At any rate I am staying away from your booth or anywhere else that classifies me as "in the public eye".
Her Reno Report was funnier than the Open, of course it helps to have Bernie for material. At any rate I am staying away from your booth or anywhere else that classifies me as "in the public eye".
that's pretty wild, usually when you see a picture of the freezer he's sporting the "baby-blue velour tracksuit, enough gold to appease a Mayan king and a rediculous amount of benjies in his hand" look. You gotta love that
lol, Stevie and Ray Romano, never noticed it but yeah. I'm going to give him hell in Athens this weekend.
We use to say he looked like Scott Baio.
We use to say he looked like Scott Baio.
I would turn my head if you walked by me...
Thanks for the good read!
Thanks for the good read!
"Mike "The Mouth" Sigel, you are a great player. You are a legend. Yes, I know you got none of the rolls, even though you won your match by a huge margin. Now shut the f--- up."
"Earl "The Pearl" Strickland, you are a great player. You are a legend. You are a fashion freak. Now shut the f--- up."
"Earl "The Pearl" Strickland, you are a great player. You are a legend. You are a fashion freak. Now shut the f--- up."
This girl is hilarious. Funniest pool sh-t I've heard in years. Right up there with a Jersey Red story. Of course, he could deliver his while running eight and out at the same time. Try that Banda girl.
The gal has got talent and great taste 
. I love everything that OMGWTF writes. Her stuff keeps me entertained when I am bored at work 
.
. I love everything that OMGWTF writes. Her stuff keeps me entertained when I am bored at work .
U
Ummagumma
Guest
9 Ball Junkie's blogs are a riot to read -- truly enjoyable! Her column even made it into one of the local pool rags in Washington state.
Has anyone figured out who it is yet? I have a guess as to who it is.
Has anyone figured out who it is yet? I have a guess as to who it is.
As far as I understand it, this local newspaper never asked her for her permission before they printed her work, and they labelled her work as "IPT bashing." I believe they never paid her either even though it was printed for profit making purposes.Ummagumma said:
I think we are very fortunate to have someone like her who has the talent and gift to write so well and so creatively. If she does not like her identity known, I would suggest that we respect that.
Besides, it is more fun that way I think...
nipponbilliards said:
No way I'm reading something that long on a monitor. If I get an email over a paragraph long straight to the printer it goes. Guess I'll never be a blogger. As Ogden Nash, an American humorists, said long before now... "Progress was alright once, but it has gone on too long."
I did manage to get a look at your shirt before giving up on reading it though. Very dapper young man, very dapper. I know you were trying to color coordinate with your cues in the background.
U
Ummagumma
Guest
nipponbilliards said:As far as I understand it, this local newspaper never asked her for her permission before they printed her work, and they labelled her work as "IPT bashing." I believe they never paid her either even though it was printed for profit making purposes.
I think we are very fortunate to have someone like her who has the talent and gift to write so well and so creatively. If she does not like her identity known, I would suggest that we respect that.
Besides, it is more fun that way I think...
Yeah, I agree. That's why I didn't guess out loud who it might be. But not knowing does add to the mystery. I look forward to more of her blogs!
See you down at Lincoln City!
I was unaware of OMGWTF's blog, so thanks for pointing it out. She has a tremendous sense of humor. I'd like to marry this girl. Oh wait, I'm already married. An affair maybe? Nah, I wouldn't want to read her review of where I register on the romance meter. Guess I'll have to settle for being a fan. She's a very talented writer.
She is pretty funny and fashion of pool players is very easy to make fun ....But the question that has to be asked is what is she wearing because I can make fun of that very easily too...
In fact I have my own classic lines poking fun of style or lack there of..But i can't see what she wears...
This post is useless without pics....Internet rule #1
In fact I have my own classic lines poking fun of style or lack there of..But i can't see what she wears...
This post is useless without pics....Internet rule #1