Getting Old Must Suck

[chefjeff]

Isn't that what they say? Youth is wasted on the young.

My case now includes a pair of square billiard glasses that I didn't seem to need a short time ago. Magnifiers and plenty of light are required for lathe work.

Losing my memory does have its advantages. I can now legally forget a whole mess of things without feeling guilty about lying.
No honest, I totally forgot, I'm sorry. These six word have saved my butt numerous times. See how I am, I forgot, that was seven words.

What you are now, I once was.
What I am now, you will soon be.

All that glitters is not gold.
All that wonder are not lost. They are just men who don't need stinkin maps.

Out on a small country road in Iowa is an old family cemetery. At night in high school, we'd take girls out there to scare the hell out of them. We'd drive out into the darkness and park the car.

We'd then get out and cross the ditch to reach the short, broken-down wooden staircase that would lift you out of the ditch to the creaky old metal gate. As it opened you would see the one lone tree standing in the center of the graveyard. Behind that tree was a tall monument that looked like a man standing there. "What's that?!" we'd exclaim while pointing at it. Screams from the girls and then nervous laughter.

Then the best part....We'd walk over to a flat headstone laid in the ground. It was of a girl who died at a very young age in the early 1800's. "Give me your cigarette lighter," someone would say.

It was dark and very quiet until the clicking of the Zippo and then the flicker would illuminate the stone and we'd ask a girl to read the inscription:

LOOK AT ME AS YOU PASS BY
AS YOU ARE NOW SO ONCE WAS I

AS I AM NOW SO YOU SHALL BE
PREPARE FOR DEATH AND FOLLOW ME


Then we'd snicker as we slowly followed the girls as they ran screaming back to the car.

Ahhhhh, youth...so much fun.

Jeff Livingston

 

[Tramp Steamer]

Out of which orifice?

All of them.

 

[pt109]

Considering the alternative I hope I get a lot older. :thumbup:

Reminds me of Leonard Bludworth playing 1-hole in the late 90's.
He jumped on a take-out and got the double kiss for a sell-out.
Somebody said "You dogged that, Leonard."
Blud said "I hope I'm doggin' that shot 30 years from now."

BTW, Jay, you've been a little slow posting these days....
...we're putting you on the clock..

 

[Tramp Steamer]

Out on a small country road in Iowa is an old family cemetery. At night in high school, we'd take girls out there to scare the hell out of them. We'd drive out into the darkness and park the car.

We'd then get out and cross the ditch to reach the short, broken-down wooden staircase that would lift you out of the ditch to the creaky old metal gate. As it opened you would see the one lone tree standing in the center of the graveyard. Behind that tree was a tall monument that looked like a man standing there. "What's that?!" we'd exclaim while pointing at it. Screams from the girls and then nervous laughter.

Then the best part....We'd walk over to a flat headstone laid in the ground. It was of a girl who died at a very young age in the early 1800's. "Give me your cigarette lighter," someone would say.

It was dark and very quiet until the clicking of the Zippo and then the flicker would illuminate the stone and we'd ask a girl to read the inscription:

LOOK AT ME AS YOU PASS BY
AS YOU ARE NOW SO ONCE WAS I

AS I AM NOW SO YOU SHALL BE
PREPARE FOR DEATH AND FOLLOW ME


Then we'd snicker as we slowly followed the girls as they ran screaming back to the car.

Ahhhhh, youth...so much fun.

Jeff Livingston

Great story, Jeff. Reminds me of the time I was in a cave with a young girl I was going with.
It was dark and my flashlight was getting dim when we came to a big rock. She went around one side and I went around the other and when we met back up I jumped out and hollered, "Boo!".
She yelped and cried. "You're gonna scare the pants off of me!"
I shouted. "Boo, boo, boo, boo!"

 

[JoeW]

Well let’s just keep it to playing pool and getting older.

I play in a tournament format with 8 to 16 other old guys Monday – Friday from 12:30 till 2:30 unless its league day. It is a round robin format and your partner is always changing – makes it interesting.

We have a traveling team for a league that plays at 1:00 PM on Tuesdays. No fees, no arguments, lots of new friends. My team placed first in a ten team league with six players per team.

Three (or more) nights a week I play 9-Ball, 10-Ball or 14.1 with three or four other guys my age. Sometimes we play till 9:00PM sometimes till 1:00 AM, It depends on whether we are having fun.

None of this costs me any money because we have four Gold Crown IIIs with Simonis 860 on each table that has "free" access for members of the community. We have many many other toys but I won't getinto that here.

I can afford a $2,500.00 stick just because I want one.

With some of the other retired guys we go all over the place watching tournaments, playing pool or just goofing off. Might leave at 10:00 AM and get back whenever. Sometimes the wives come along. No time constraints, no money problems. No egos too big to fit through the door.

When you are around a bunch of old guys most of the BS is gone, unless we are ragging on each other. Act like a jerk and you don’t get asked back.

No job, no hassel, pleasant wives (for the most part) and permanent vacation. But then your life at 30 – 40 is probably just as good or better when it comes to a life playing and living pool.

Oh yeah, pool players’ glasses cost $250.00 bucks and yeah I have a pair of “cheaters.”

Life in God’s waiting room is pretty good. With a little luck you will get here too.