Heart/Passion

[Zphix]

You felt compelled to state your views and beliefs on a public forum, knowingly exposing it all to criticism. If you blindly disregard everyone's opinion simply because it conflicts with your own, instead of at least trying to see their viewpoint, why would you expect anyone else to be any more open-minded, and take your advice on how to live life?

I'm not disregarding opposing views. I'm always looking to learn and grow so I appreciate new insight.

What I won't entertain are the people saying "This is BS." "You're an idiot," and things along those lines. No matter covered these messages are I won't entertain them.

I'm always up for a lively discussion though, assuming it is a discussion not an attack.

Maple,

Legitimate life coaching is no different than a performance coach in sports. Except, we aim to improve people's lives instead of their athletic ability which is entirely possible. The earliest "coaches" examined the similarities in the happiest people alive, the richest people, etc. and saw that there are many similarities and patterns.

From there, techniques and approaches were devised to quickly get people to live to their fullest potential. Anthony Robbins is perhaps the most widely recognized example of a life coach or leadership trainer. Call it what you will.

In some cases, people do sell themselves as coaches with the intent to scam them. But, I think that is bullshit and only scum would do that. I live to serve others as best I can and I want to improve people's lives on the biggest scale possible.

 

[maplecap]

I'm not disregarding opposing views. I'm always looking to learn and grow so I appreciate new insight.

What I won't entertain are the people saying "This is BS." "You're an idiot," and things along those lines. No matter covered these messages are I won't entertain them.

I'm always up for a lively discussion though, assuming it is a discussion not an attack.

Maple,

Legitimate life coaching is no different than a performance coach in sports. Except, we aim to improve people's lives instead of their athletic ability which is entirely possible. The earliest "coaches" examined the similarities in the happiest people alive, the richest people, etc. and saw that there are many similarities and patterns.

From there, techniques and approaches were devised to quickly get people to live to their fullest potential. Anthony Robbins is perhaps the most widely recognized example of a life coach or leadership trainer. Call it what you will.

In some cases, people do sell themselves as coaches with the intent to scam them. But, I think that is bullshit and only scum would do that. I live to serve others as best I can and I want to improve people's lives on the biggest scale possible.

Zphix, I applaud you and your efforts and I wish everyone happiness in their pursuit to achieve their own dreams. Being an old timer, I have never heard of life coaching. The way we learned was by gaining insights from people of all walks of life. Whether that being your old man knocking you around, or the local gang bangers having their way with you, to the way your bosses treated you at your first job, to the first time you saw someone lying dead in the gutter. So forgive me for not being educated on why someone would feel the need to be coached on how to live life. I've always lived a happy life and that's why people call me HappyJack. Good luck with becoming a pro level player. I'll gladly watch you shoot, as my playing days are pretty much over. Thanks

 

[Zphix]

Zphix, I applaud you and your efforts and I wish everyone happiness in their pursuit to achieve their own dreams. Being an old timer, I have never heard of life coaching. The way we learned was by gaining insights from people of all walks of life. Whether that being your old man knocking you around, or the local gang bangers having their way with you, to the way your bosses treated you at your first job, to the first time you saw someone lying dead in the gutter. So forgive me for not being educated on why someone would feel the need to be coached on how to live life. I've always lived a happy life and that's why people call me HappyJack. Good luck with becoming a pro level player. I'll gladly watch you shoot, as my playing days are pretty much over. Thanks

If anything I'd say it's dangerous. I'm not sure how I feel about being responsible for the improvement in a person's life. The best and worst thing about advice is that someone might take it.

As you said, people who are happy don't need it. But, someone who is unhappy with their job, love life, and personal life may feel stuck and powerless to change. If they came to me I'd join them on their side (metaphorically) and help them walk their path. I don't make decisions or tell them what to do, I offer options and help them gain insight into what is possible. Someone who feels trapped is never actually trapped but it's hard to see that on your own when you're in the emotions.

Basically I'm an insightful guide. My mentor today told me I have incredible intuition and problem solving abilities, and I'm a "mountain" in that I can look down and see what's coming, I'm very durable and strongly centered, and close to my source of power. We went through a meditation and that's what he came up with about me.

 

[Zphix]

The analogy he used was like owning a burger stand. You have a product to offer people, some people will be hungry and want a burger, some people may be hungry and not want a burger, and some people may be full.

I can't help or satisfy everybody, all I can do is say "I can help improve your life" and let the hungry people who want burgers come to me.

 

[railbird99]

You said you were done "arguing and debating", which pretty much means you are set in your ways, and you are choosing to disregard opposing ideas. It's also clear by which posts you choose to respond to.

It's going to be really hard for anyone to understand how someone who is just starting their own life can be qualified to give advice to others on how to live life.

Since you wanted to compare it to performance coaches in sports, it's the equivalent of a 20 year old who read a bunch of books on baseball being the pitching coach for a professional baseball team, where the people he's coaching are older and have played baseball their entire life.

I think at this point in your life, you should just be learning and helping people, without the label of "life coach". "Life coach" may be the ultimate goal, but attempting to fulfill that role now seems silly and makes you look arrogant and somewhat delusional. It ultimately belittles your philosophy on life, which may or may not have merit. Instead, you should be on even ground with the people you help, not their "coach" or "teacher". You can learn just as much about life as you can teach anyone else at this point.

I'm not disregarding opposing views. I'm always looking to learn and grow so I appreciate new insight.

What I won't entertain are the people saying "This is BS." "You're an idiot," and things along those lines. No matter covered these messages are I won't entertain them.

I'm always up for a lively discussion though, assuming it is a discussion not an attack.

Maple,

Legitimate life coaching is no different than a performance coach in sports. Except, we aim to improve people's lives instead of their athletic ability which is entirely possible. The earliest "coaches" examined the similarities in the happiest people alive, the richest people, etc. and saw that there are many similarities and patterns.

From there, techniques and approaches were devised to quickly get people to live to their fullest potential. Anthony Robbins is perhaps the most widely recognized example of a life coach or leadership trainer. Call it what you will.

In some cases, people do sell themselves as coaches with the intent to scam them. But, I think that is bullshit and only scum would do that. I live to serve others as best I can and I want to improve people's lives on the biggest scale possible.

 

[(((Satori)))]

I've got a question for you Zphix.

Suppose you are coaching someone who has all of the ability to succeed that they need. But they still dont believe they can, how are you going to change their limiting beliefs?

 

[Zphix]

I've got a question for you Zphix.

Suppose you are coaching someone who has all of the ability to succeed that they need. But they still dont believe they can, how are you going to change their limiting beliefs?

First by identifying them. Limiting beliefs differ from person to person. But, of the 5 life stages, the person who is being held back by limiting beliefs is at the bottom; this stage is called the Struggle, and the person in it is the Victim.

To get past limiting beliefs, you must set new standards for yourself; establish what you will no longer tolerate. Decide that enough is enough. The four most powerful ways to set new standards are:

1) Disgust. Become disgusted with whatever it is that is holding you back. If you want to lose weight stand in the mirror and become disgusted with your image.

2) Make a Decision and then act on it. It's not enough to become disgusted if you keep around the things that cause you to be disgusted in the first place.

3) Desire. "I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW!"

4) Determination. You must have a Do or Die Resolve. You must want to lose weight as much as you want to breathe. Not to be confused with persistence, persistence lacks emotion and determination doesn't. You must have a fire in your belly about this.

For safe measure I emphasize the need to take immediate action. If you want to lose weight, go through your house and toss out your junk food.

Also, you can make structural changes in your life. A structure is a relationship, event, occurrence, etc. that produces a consistent result. A perfect sphere is a structure and will always roll. Having a baby is a structure and you'll see many men and women step up to the plate after having a child. If you want to lose weight you can find a work-out partner that will get you off your A$$.

The most important thing though, is that you need to take action to destroy your limiting beliefs. If you feel afraid to be your self in front of people out of fear of judgment then you will eventually have to get in front of people and face it.

Also, people that feel they can't succeed usually have one of two limiting beliefs: I can't handle the success, or, I can't handle the failure.

I can help people who are going through something like this because this is the first stage; the Victim stage. I'm currently in the third stage, called the Traveler stage. I can only help people up to my level, but I cannot push somebody up from 3rd to 4th, or 4th to fifth.

Sorry for the slight tangents in my post. Does this make sense?

-Richard

 

[(((Satori)))]

What are the 5 stages?

 

[Zphix]

One last thing. Limiting beliefs are only the first obstacle you will face in the life stages.

The stages in order are:

1) The Struggle (Victim). Limiting beliefs hold you back.
2) The Preparation Stage (Dabbler). Fear holds you back.
3) The Journey (Traveler/ Settler). Comfort zones hold you back.
4) Challenges (Challenger). Everything starts to hit you and your Ego/Identity hold you back.
5) The Lifestyle (Limit Breaker). Nothing holds you back.

This is the process everyone follows on their way to mastering anything whether it be pool, weight lifting, knitting, growing a business, etc. Plus, you don't necessarily have to tackle these obstacles in order. If you're in the Struggle stage, you can potentially work on overcoming your Identity and Ego in order to move up. In overcoming the highest challenges you bypass the smaller ones.

Basically, if you learn to overcome your Ego and Identity then you no longer have fears or comfort zones or limiting beliefs about whatever it is you're doing. Again, these stages are not applied wholly to someone's entire life - in different skills, hobbies, goals you will be at different stages in each.

-Richard

 

[Zphix]

Here's an example using weight lifting. Let's take a skinny, scrawny kid who gets bullied every day in school.

1) The Struggle/ Limiting Beliefs. At this stage, he feels incompetent. No matter how much muscle he puts on he will always be the victim of bullying. He's not good enough to hit the gym, etc. He's held by conscious thoughts.

If he gets past that,

2) The Preparation/Fear. He's afraid that the guys in the gym are judging him. He feels like an outcast, and he feels like he's not getting any results.

If he gets past that,

3) The Journey/ Comfort Zones. This is the stage most people stop at. At this stage he is comfortable with his progress, he's put on muscle, he likes what he sees in the mirror so he stops pursuing his dream to look like Arnold. He figures at any time he can pick up weight lifting again and finish out his goal.

If he gets past that,

4) The Challenger/ Ego and Identity. At this point, everything will conspire against him, and he will try to talk himself out of completing his goal. In the case of weight-lifting this particular stage is pretty easy to get over. Comfort zones are actually the hardest for people to get past in weight lifting. Admittedly, I'm not as well versed with this stage because I'm not capable of helping somebody who is in this particular stage yet and I'm still working on it. Basically, the identity you've created for yourself holds you back because who you define yourself to be doesn't necessarily determine who you actually are and it takes a long time (most of the time) before a person is able to have a breakthrough here. Think of it like a mask you put on to show others. You are not the mask though.

If he gets past that,

5) The Lifestyle. At this point, weight-lifting is fully ingrained into his lifestyle and it's a core part of who he is. Nothing mental/emotional/cognitive can stop him anymore.

 

[victorl]

Zphix, can I ask how old you are?
Not to be rude, but it sounds like you have the theoretical stuff down, but there's a deeper understanding that comes with life experience that I'm not seeing in your posts.

 

[Zphix]

Zphix, can I ask how old you are?
Not to be rude, but it sounds like you have the theoretical stuff down, but there's a deeper understanding that comes with life experience that I'm not seeing in your posts.

Only 20. You are correct that I don't have some of the life experience required hence I can only help people so much. Can you explain further what is "missing?" I don't disagree with you at all either. But if it's missing and it's a problem I can work on it.

It is also very tough for me to make my point sufficiently with only text though. Much different to be able to talk about it in person and hear the emotions and substance behind the words.

 

[(((Satori)))]

I've got a question for you Zphix.

Suppose you are coaching someone who has all of the ability to succeed that they need. But they still dont believe they can, how are you going to change their limiting beliefs?

Here's an example using weight lifting. Let's take a skinny, scrawny kid who gets bullied every day in school.

1) The Struggle/ Limiting Beliefs. At this stage, he feels incompetent. No matter how much muscle he puts on he will always be the victim of bullying. He's not good enough to hit the gym, etc. He's held by conscious thoughts.

If he gets past that,

2) The Preparation/Fear. He's afraid that the guys in the gym are judging him. He feels like an outcast, and he feels like he's not getting any results.

If he gets past that,

3) The Journey/ Comfort Zones. This is the stage most people stop at. At this stage he is comfortable with his progress, he's put on muscle, he likes what he sees in the mirror so he stops pursuing his dream to look like Arnold. He figures at any time he can pick up weight lifting again and finish out his goal.

If he gets past that,

4) The Challenger/ Ego and Identity. At this point, everything will conspire against him, and he will try to talk himself out of completing his goal. In the case of weight-lifting this particular stage is pretty easy to get over. Comfort zones are actually the hardest for people to get past in weight lifting. Admittedly, I'm not as well versed with this stage because I'm not capable of helping somebody who is in this particular stage yet and I'm still working on it. Basically, the identity you've created for yourself holds you back because who you define yourself to be doesn't necessarily determine who you actually are and it takes a long time (most of the time) before a person is able to have a breakthrough here. Think of it like a mask you put on to show others. You are not the mask though.

If he gets past that,

5) The Lifestyle. At this point, weight-lifting is fully ingrained into his lifestyle and it's a core part of who he is. Nothing mental/emotional/cognitive can stop him anymore.

Actually stage 4 is what I wass referring to when asking about limiting beliefs.

 

[Zphix]

Actually stage 4 is what I wass referring to when asking about limiting beliefs.

Ahhh gotcha. Admittedly, I'm not well versed in this stage because I'm still working on it with my mentor/coach. I haven't even learned about the way to overcome this yet.

Only today did I even come to understand and define what my "masks" are.

 

[AtLarge]

... The stages in order are:

1) The Struggle (Victim). ...
2) The Preparation Stage (Dabbler). ...
3) The Journey (Traveler/ Settler). ...
4) Challenges (Challenger). ...
5) The Lifestyle (Limit Breaker). ...

...

Whose nomenclature/categorization is that? One particular person? Or an organization/school?

 

[Zphix]

Whose nomenclature/categorization is that? One particular person? Or an organization/school?

I don't want to butcher their explanation so I'll get that answer directly from them and relay it. Sound good?

 

[(((Satori)))]

I don't want to butcher their explanation so I'll get that answer directly from them and relay it. Sound good?

He's just asking where these stages came from. I'm curious too. For example if I was to list the 13 principles for success I could say they came from Nepoleon Hill. Who did the 5 stages come from?

 

[Zphix]

He's just asking where these stages came from. I'm curious too. For example if I was to list the 13 principles for success I could say they came from Nepoleon Hill. Who did the 5 stages come from?

Ah. Take a look on Google at the Limit Break Lifestyle Academy. The two founders are my mentors and they devised the stages.

 

[marek]

Richard, I didn't need to read all this to realize you're not really serious about becoming a professional pool player. You want to be a pool player, then go play pool and quit pontificating on here.

While i wouldnt say it this way i agree with Jay - if you want to become pool pro,stop writing those long texts (full of truth though) here on forum,get your a$$ at the practice table and run drills/play tough opponent/workout at the gym/whatever to make your game better,from the amount of text written in this thread i would guess you basically wasted somewhere between 1-2 hours of your possible practice time in the last 24 hours.not so great example of pursuing your dream if you ask me.i want the fellow dreamer to succeed so i am giving you this advice-practice every second you can!if you dont someone else will...
I am outta here,practice table awaits me

Odesláno z mého myPhone NEXT S pomocí Tapatalk

 

[Zphix]

While i wouldnt say it this way i agree with Jay - if you want to become pool pro,stop writing those long texts (full of truth though) here on forum,get your a$$ at the practice table and run drills/play tough opponent/workout at the gym/whatever to make your game better,from the amount of text written in this thread i would guess you basically wasted somewhere between 1-2 hours of your possible practice time in the last 24 hours.not so great example of pursuing your dream if you ask me.i want the fellow dreamer to succeed so i am giving you this advice-practice every second you can!if you dont someone else will...
I am outta here,practice table awaits me

Odesláno z mého myPhone NEXT S pomocí Tapatalk

No kidding.

If I had a table at home or money to play as much as I want then you'd never see me on here. I put in as much time as I can with my available resources. I'm trying to use my resourcefulness to get more access to table time though.

"Sigh"