How do you act, when you lose?

[8onthebreak]

Now...that's honesty

:smile:

Well, you want honest? I'll do my best. I have just in the last couple of months picked up the cues again after 10 year stretch of not playing (family, career, house etc etc). I used to play multiple leagues and local tournaments throughout the 90's. Was a Manager/Bartender of a small pool hall (Columbus,Ohio) for 6 of those years. I was a 6 in APA and if memory serves I was a 9 in VNEA and I completely forget how Coin-Op handicaps but I played that league as well.
Back to the main topic:
I have always tried to exhibit good sportsmanship, commend excellent shots by opponents, retrieve the ball when I scratch for my opponent, and say please and thank you all with a smile, trying to be a true class act. The brutal truth is, if I have lost control of the table or failed to nail the speed or contact points and miss or hook myself, I am boiling with internal rage. Some times it's very difficult to contain this inner rage and a few f-bombs may suddenly surface. Never towards my opponent, always directed at myself. If I was ever to punch anyone in the place, I would punch myself first, because that's who I'm pissed off at. This rage turned inwards has been my nemesis, and always has been even in my peak. If I could ever learn to control it, ( I call it turning off my brain ) I could be a very consistent high caliber player I believe. I don't lash out or beat on things but I have drawn back my cue as if I'm ready to spear it across the room, but never have actually thrown one.
So in closing to answer your question of how I act when I lose, I smile congratulate my opponent and extend a hand to shake, it is then their choice whether they want to shake hands back, most do and a few don't and that's ok. After I walk away you would never know it by looking at me, but I am talking to myself like a dirty washrag whore and calling myself every name in the book, even making up a few along the way. In addition this can and does carry over into further matches thus destroying my focus on the match at hand. I then miss because I was mad from before, and now I'm even madder at myself for being mad from before and it's like a snow ball rolling down hill getting bigger as it goes.
I had always in my 20's chalked it up to a maturity issue. Now I'm over 40 returning to the game a much more mature person. There's only one problem though, NOTHING has changed, same internal verbal assault against myself. I'm having problems with visual alignment, contact points and throw that will come back with more table time. I bought a table and currently refinishing the basement for said table, this will be my first pool table I have ever owned. Hopefully I can get the table time I need now to try to get back to or go beyond the level of play I'm accustomed to from so long ago. So there you have it, that's my story and how I act when I lose.
When I win, I do everything exactly the same but the internal rage warfare against myself is much, much tamer. I do mentally replay and evaluate back the mistakes that were had even though I won.

For those that made it this far through the book post, I thank you for your time and any words of encouragement, and/or advice on how to tame this internal mental beat-down I put myself through. Please help me silence the beast...

DOPC

I think it's a great thing to know that your beast is ALIVE and well. If we didn't have that beast inside us, in my opinion, you would be at a disadvantage against someone who's got it. Key is to tame it like you said. No advice from me brother, I'm still trying after 25 yrs of practice

 

[grichard614]

I'm sure not the first to say but no one likes losing. Unfortunately it's part of the game. I always show good sportsmanship and shake my opponents hand and wish him good game. Any anger I try to confide in a team mate because usually I'm mad at myself for missing a shot not my opponent for making one

 

[backplaying]

Well, you want honest? I'll do my best. I have just in the last couple of months picked up the cues again after 10 year stretch of not playing (family, career, house etc etc). I used to play multiple leagues and local tournaments throughout the 90's. Was a Manager/Bartender of a small pool hall (Columbus,Ohio) for 6 of those years. I was a 6 in APA and if memory serves I was a 9 in VNEA and I completely forget how Coin-Op handicaps but I played that league as well.
Back to the main topic:
I have always tried to exhibit good sportsmanship, commend excellent shots by opponents, retrieve the ball when I scratch for my opponent, and say please and thank you all with a smile, trying to be a true class act. The brutal truth is, if I have lost control of the table or failed to nail the speed or contact points and miss or hook myself, I am boiling with internal rage. Some times it's very difficult to contain this inner rage and a few f-bombs may suddenly surface. Never towards my opponent, always directed at myself. If I was ever to punch anyone in the place, I would punch myself first, because that's who I'm pissed off at. This rage turned inwards has been my nemesis, and always has been even in my peak. If I could ever learn to control it, ( I call it turning off my brain ) I could be a very consistent high caliber player I believe. I don't lash out or beat on things but I have drawn back my cue as if I'm ready to spear it across the room, but never have actually thrown one.
So in closing to answer your question of how I act when I lose, I smile congratulate my opponent and extend a hand to shake, it is then their choice whether they want to shake hands back, most do and a few don't and that's ok. After I walk away you would never know it by looking at me, but I am talking to myself like a dirty washrag whore and calling myself every name in the book, even making up a few along the way. In addition this can and does carry over into further matches thus destroying my focus on the match at hand. I then miss because I was mad from before, and now I'm even madder at myself for being mad from before and it's like a snow ball rolling down hill getting bigger as it goes.
I had always in my 20's chalked it up to a maturity issue. Now I'm over 40 returning to the game a much more mature person. There's only one problem though, NOTHING has changed, same internal verbal assault against myself. I'm having problems with visual alignment, contact points and throw that will come back with more table time. I bought a table and currently refinishing the basement for said table, this will be my first pool table I have ever owned. Hopefully I can get the table time I need now to try to get back to or go beyond the level of play I'm accustomed to from so long ago. So there you have it, that's my story and how I act when I lose.
When I win, I do everything exactly the same but the internal rage warfare against myself is much, much tamer. I do mentally replay and evaluate back the mistakes that were had even though I won.

For those that made it this far through the book post, I thank you for your time and any words of encouragement, and/or advice on how to tame this internal mental beat-down I put myself through. Please help me silence the beast...

DOPC

I have to ask, is this gambling or league play matches, or both?

 

[cesarmorales]

I was told by a champion player years ago that being a good loser will only develope bad habits.

 

[Blue Hog ridr]

If I win, I like to jump on the table and pull an Earl after he ran 11 racks and then cut into the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance.

If I lose, I make sure to tell my opponent that I normally play much better and was just having an off game. True Story!


If I win and my opponent says good game, I always say thank you and make sure I say, nice shooting.

If I lose, the same, I say thanks for the game and nice shooting.

I am a gracious loser. I like to win as much as the next person but in the end, its just a game and there is always a tomorrow. Its not like that was the last game you'll ever play. I don't beat myself up over it.

Thats one of the worst things you can do is hold onto your last loss and missed shots and carry that over into your next match.

I don't show my emotions when I miss a shot. I turn around and go sit down, have a sip of my beer and watch my opponents shots.

 

[Dopc]

8onthebreak: Thank you for your kind words and support. Your comment of the beast being a benefit really made me sit back and think it over. I have always considered it (the beast) a hindrance, now you have me thinking otherwise. That creates an even bigger problem, how to tame it. In years past I would medicate it to numbness, but the net result from that was an even larger negative for both the game and outside life (girlfriend fights, wrecked cars etc etc etc). I'm over 40 with a family and no longer interested in all that drama. I don't mind a social drink but getting intoxicated is just not appealing at this stage of my life. The occasional green leaf here and there but that's the limit. This time I want to focus on my game just as an Olympic athlete would train for the games. Including mental strength and some physical exercise to keep the muscles loose (not bulking up just keeping things healthy and limber, the healthy body healthy mind thing). Your post has put things a little more into perspective for me. I will be keeping your post in my person notes and referring back to it for encouragement. Truly a big thank you for your time and kind words my friend. Your words have not gone unheard.

backplaying: I am focused on tournament play (can't commit to the weekly have to play league) and if my game equals or improves from years past that will include some small time gambling, nothing big. I have everything I could want and need that money can buy (not wealthy, just comfortable). I have little to no interest in taking money from someone who is gambling their rent or food money away from their family. I'm not in this for the sharks game (both being the shark or being the fish) , no BS, no attitudes, and I refuse to play with someone who is trying for a quick buck. My gambling won't be about the money, that will just be what it takes to play someone I feel is of great strength as a player.
I'm in it this time to make myself happy with my level of play and that is all that matters to me, more valuable than any dollar amount. I will gamble with a caliber of player I feel is higher than I am, just to put my skills to the test and see where it faults and concentrate on correcting those issues. I have ZERO interest in "hustlin", life is to short and this time it's all about me. The only person I want to please this time around is myself.

 

[Fatboy]

Lets have an HONEST conversation about how you act when you miss a critical shot, or lose a critical game. Please be honest, and and list your skill level also...I think it will be neat to see the differences in how folks handle these situations, and how skill levels play in to it. Hope to hear from some amateurs and some PRO's, and In between. If in leagues, plz list your handicap and the league.

Do you slam your stick into the ground, rake the balls, yell, slap the table with your shaft, hand, throw the cueball?

I'll start...
I try REALLY hard to not show my cards when things don't go my way, ...I feel like it actually FUELS my opponent if they catch me in a moment of weakness, yet, still, I sometimes find myself slinging the GDAMMIT, MF'er...I guess the old mechanic coming out of me...lol, but I feel like I'm getting better, but still I'm disappointed with myself after I act like that. I would like to be better at hiding my emotion.
I'm a 12/13 in valley...AA local tourney...

What's your story? What's your skill level?

never lost, just didnt win a few times first off.:smile:

when i didnt win, depending on the circumstances my response is very different,

I never play in league, tourneys, 90% of the time I'm in action, 10% i'm not

for the 10% i'm not, i dont like it but it happens and I still try and find a way to win, I played the other night, I'm by a good distance the weaker player, lost every game for 2 hours, then got up and started getting out, broke and ran a few. I had fun, and first i hit a ball in a long time so while I didnt like it-wasnt the worst thing that ever happened.


In action, if I play well and lose I hate it but I dont get sick, I just got out played, rolls, something. I still dont get sick. But I cant stand it, i dont act out. i'm polite and leave.

If I play bad because i'm having a off day/week or whatever-happened 3 weeks ago lost $950, didnt make a ball for over a hour playin 1P, I was sick and crying like a baby while I was getting beat, I felt like I never picked up a cue, man i was playing bad. So I took some time off pool. that was my response to that,

now if i'm in stroke and play my absolute best, look back and realize i was playing not to lose, I wasnt playing to win. (this happened last summer) I paid off and was so sick I didnt get out of bed the next day, I replayed that game 1000 times in my head, the following day I left where I was at, I learned from that and won the next 6 or 7 times i got in action. Hard lession there and expensive.


so not winning can cause me to respond differently, but i dont go breaking things, the worst i do is whine when i feel like I cant hold a cue-dont happen often but once in a while 2-3 times a year, I can be in stroke and i feel like i'm playing opposite handed, thats the most i act out. and it aint all that bad.


The older I get the "cooler" I am too, I wasnt ever a "Fly off the air" kinda guy.

 

[Fatboy]

I'm sure not the first to say but no one likes losing. Unfortunately it's part of the game. I always show good sportsmanship and shake my opponents hand and wish him good game. Any anger I try to confide in a team mate because usually I'm mad at myself for missing a shot not my opponent for making one

yeah about half the game:wink::wink::smile:

 

[Shaky1]

When I lose, I always shake my oponents hand and say "nice game/match".
Depending on what happened before determines wether I just let it go (if I played well), or I lie down on the carpet face down ,kicking my legs and pounding my fists, crying like a baby (I played like dog crap)!