I think I will be in a Rut for a while! (Long, Sorry)
- Thread starter RBLilly
- Start date
txplshrk said:
I don't know...
I was listening to them in the car on my way back from the Hunter event (placed only 9th). I was hoping they would somehow beat that spread!
-Melinda
JoeyA said:You are a softie and she will take try to take advantage of you. She was your wife but is no longer your wife. You both have tried to make a go of it and the second try has failed. Because she once was your wife, you feel that you owe her something and you do but being her sugar daddy for the next millenium is not it. BTW, I do agree with you, you owe her more than a swift kick in the pants since she was your wife.
Sit down with her to discuss this and don't let a sad sob story change your mind.
The bottom line is you want HER to give you a date to move out. First you tell her an earlier date than is possible that you want her to move out on then you ask her for HER DATE FOR MOVING OUT. If it isn't acceptable, tell her so. If it is tolerable, MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS THAT IS THE FINAL DATE.
Make another rule, RULE NUMBER 1.: ANY OF THAT REVENGE BS AND SHE'S OUT THE DOOR IN THE STREET IMMEDIATELY and don't be shy about telling her that. Tell her exactly what you are referring to and don't let her sidetrack you. Women are excellent word meisters and most women can out talk most men especially about emotional issues like this.
When a couple has disagreements about stuff, it's fine to argue to the cows come home about that disagreement but it ain't nice to bring other issues to bear simply because you aren't feeling like you're the happiest person in the world. In fact, it is childish, immature and causes additional hurt and destruction. Giving you additional hell because the relationship isn't working out is wrong in every way.
When she specifies the date, encourage her draw up a WRITTEN plan for moving. MONEY SAVED, WHERE SHE'S GOING, HOW SHE'S GOING TO GET THERE, WHAT SHE'S LEAVING WITH, THE AMOUNT OF RENT FOR THE FIRST MONTH and especially the date she is moving out.
Make sure she has a new lease in her name for her new location.
Don't forget about rule # 1.
Get the date FROM HER AND MAKE HER STICK TO IT.
Easy for me to say, I'm not in your shoes. Wishing you the best. Pool is kind of like alcohol or drugs in that, you can submerge yourself in it and all of your problems fade farther away. Unfortunately, they seldom stay away simply because you ignore them.
Best regards and sincerest sympathies. Hate to see two people in such a difficult situation.
Pool is the ultimate seductress, a siren, an insatiable mistress who will wait for your return. She has great plans for you.
JoeyA
TapTapTap. Great post. On the money.
I'm not saying this to gloat (I grew up in Boston and am a big Pats fan)....but the Pats are pretty friggin' good this year. Arguably better than their super bowl teams. Don't bum too much on the Cowboys. Their awesome and maybe the two will meet up again in the Super Bowl.
And more importantly....don't bum too much on this girl. I have the feeling that after a while you'll look back and ask yourself "what was I thinking?"
Finally, to the first or second poster, I think the John Cusack quote was from "Say Anything" at the Gas-n-Sip scene.
And more importantly....don't bum too much on this girl. I have the feeling that after a while you'll look back and ask yourself "what was I thinking?"
Finally, to the first or second poster, I think the John Cusack quote was from "Say Anything" at the Gas-n-Sip scene.
Well she actually settled down last night and I guess the anger has subsided enough that she is working on a place to stay. I have to talk to her about it again tonight, but she has two friends that she is looking at staying with.
Then she actually apologized for the way she was acting and the stuff she was saying to me. She said it was because she was mad, and I agreed that it was and I understood her anger. She is supposed to have all her stuff packed and ready to move it all to a storage building this coming weekend. So we will work on that first. Then she is supposed to be confirming a place to stay. So hopefully if all goes well this weekend could be the final date of her move out.
We have split in the past before, and she has never taken anything, never broke anything, and most of all never stayed around! So I don't anticipate her doing any of that stuff, but I have heard the horror stories and have listened to the warnings. I will keep my eye on it.
Anyway, once she is moved out for good the locks are getting replaced. Even if it isn't legal! She isn't even on the lease anyway, so I shouldn't have much problems with that.
Last night for the game a buddy of mine called me up and invited the guys over for some BBQ and drinks! I was kind of in aww because his g/f and my old lady were good friends, but he said that he didn't care and he wanted me to come hang out.
I decided to go, and I must tell you that it always amazes me how good of friends you have when a time of need comes around.
Thanks everyone for your comments, and I will keep you posted as to what happens this week at pool league, and what happens this coming weekend at home! LOL
Then she actually apologized for the way she was acting and the stuff she was saying to me. She said it was because she was mad, and I agreed that it was and I understood her anger. She is supposed to have all her stuff packed and ready to move it all to a storage building this coming weekend. So we will work on that first. Then she is supposed to be confirming a place to stay. So hopefully if all goes well this weekend could be the final date of her move out.
We have split in the past before, and she has never taken anything, never broke anything, and most of all never stayed around! So I don't anticipate her doing any of that stuff, but I have heard the horror stories and have listened to the warnings. I will keep my eye on it.
Anyway, once she is moved out for good the locks are getting replaced. Even if it isn't legal! She isn't even on the lease anyway, so I shouldn't have much problems with that.
Last night for the game a buddy of mine called me up and invited the guys over for some BBQ and drinks! I was kind of in aww because his g/f and my old lady were good friends, but he said that he didn't care and he wanted me to come hang out.
I decided to go, and I must tell you that it always amazes me how good of friends you have when a time of need comes around.
Thanks everyone for your comments, and I will keep you posted as to what happens this week at pool league, and what happens this coming weekend at home! LOL
Don't Let Her Fix You Anything To Drink, Either
And don't eat ANYTHING she cooks.
Doug
( especially the Poison cookies )
JoeyA said:
And don't eat ANYTHING she cooks.
Doug
( especially the Poison cookies )
Got a Date!
Well it looks like this Sunday is the date for the final move! She found a place to live, and we should have all her crap in storage by Sunday. So I can change the locks Sunday evening!
I don't know how to say this without being mean, but this feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest!
Thanks for all the support from everyone in here! I will let you know how I play this week!
Well it looks like this Sunday is the date for the final move! She found a place to live, and we should have all her crap in storage by Sunday. So I can change the locks Sunday evening!
I don't know how to say this without being mean, but this feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest!
Thanks for all the support from everyone in here! I will let you know how I play this week!
txplshrk said:
Everything happens for a reason... and this is the right decision and I am glad she is moving out sooner rather than later.
It makes everything so much easier. -Melinda
Melinda said:Everything happens for a reason... and this is the right decision and I am glad she is moving out sooner rather than later.
-Melinda
Thanks Melinda!
Yea this is the right decision. I should have probably done it 2 or 3 years ago. However I am too big hearted not to try all avenues before calling it quits. We will both be happier in the long run!
Well I am sure I will be spending more time at the table for a while! LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfl9e53LX_U
This is quite possibly the funniest, and most accurate! description of the break up process I've ever seen.
Work safe and very entertaining. His other videos are as well.
If this doesn't seem familiar to you, you haven't ended a long term relationship yet!
This is quite possibly the funniest, and most accurate! description of the break up process I've ever seen.
Work safe and very entertaining. His other videos are as well.
If this doesn't seem familiar to you, you haven't ended a long term relationship yet!
txplshrk said:
Ahhh... the benefits of a break up.
Well I guess I was wrong about my rut! Cause I guess with the stress subsiding I was able to play well this week!
Wed night I won all 6 of my league games............Last night I won 5 out of my 6 league games!
I guess I was worried about nothing. But the week before I shot horrible!
Wed night I won all 6 of my league games............Last night I won 5 out of my 6 league games!
I guess I was worried about nothing. But the week before I shot horrible!
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txplshrk:
Sorry I never saw this thread sooner or I would have weighed in. With regard to your original post, I noticed how you said that making her happy is most important.. I just want to reiterate with others have said here, that it should be your first priority in life to make YOU happy. You simply cannot make others happy until you are happy with yourself. We don't get much time on this rock, you need to take care of yourself first. The fact that you don't have children together makes this all so much more clear-cut.
Second.. I know it seems like everything is going well.. she sounds like she's ready to move out and everything will go smoothely. I just want to tell you one piece of advice.. Please do not let your guard down through this weekend. Please do not assume that everything is as it seems. People find out the true measure of themselves in times like these, and all too often this is when people find out just what level of evil they are capable of. I know you aren't worried about her breaking things, but that's not what I'm really talking about here. She may seem all fine now, but you cannot count on what you know about her to lead you through this weekend. When nothing is left, the gloves come off, and that may have yet to happen with her. Please protect yourself by going through this weekend with eyes wide open. Grab the few most prized posessions of yours and store them elsewhere. Be prepared to WALK OUT the second things start seeming to go other than you were expecting. This is the time when people are often baited into acts they would otherwise never consider. This is the time when people (I hesitate to say women, because it goes both ways) do the unspeakable to regain control of a situation. This is the time situations escellate beyond our control. Please be prepared to walk right out of that house, leaving everything behind, to avoid a situation that could lead to you losing control of things. If possible, don't even be around when she moves out. If your most prized belongings are offsite, they will not weigh you down when you need to disappear quickly to get away from a bad situation.
Stay mobile this weekend, and avoid any and all confrontational situations with her. Chances are, she knows how to push your buttons, and may decide to do so in the final moments together. For your sake, I hope she has found someone else.. that gets her gone quickly with no trouble because she's anxious to get going on number 5.. but if that's the case, things between them can turn ugly the moment she's about to be detached from you, and he loses interest.
Stay smart, my friend.. my thoughts will be with you.
Sorry I never saw this thread sooner or I would have weighed in. With regard to your original post, I noticed how you said that making her happy is most important.. I just want to reiterate with others have said here, that it should be your first priority in life to make YOU happy. You simply cannot make others happy until you are happy with yourself. We don't get much time on this rock, you need to take care of yourself first. The fact that you don't have children together makes this all so much more clear-cut.
Second.. I know it seems like everything is going well.. she sounds like she's ready to move out and everything will go smoothely. I just want to tell you one piece of advice.. Please do not let your guard down through this weekend. Please do not assume that everything is as it seems. People find out the true measure of themselves in times like these, and all too often this is when people find out just what level of evil they are capable of. I know you aren't worried about her breaking things, but that's not what I'm really talking about here. She may seem all fine now, but you cannot count on what you know about her to lead you through this weekend. When nothing is left, the gloves come off, and that may have yet to happen with her. Please protect yourself by going through this weekend with eyes wide open. Grab the few most prized posessions of yours and store them elsewhere. Be prepared to WALK OUT the second things start seeming to go other than you were expecting. This is the time when people are often baited into acts they would otherwise never consider. This is the time when people (I hesitate to say women, because it goes both ways) do the unspeakable to regain control of a situation. This is the time situations escellate beyond our control. Please be prepared to walk right out of that house, leaving everything behind, to avoid a situation that could lead to you losing control of things. If possible, don't even be around when she moves out. If your most prized belongings are offsite, they will not weigh you down when you need to disappear quickly to get away from a bad situation.
Stay mobile this weekend, and avoid any and all confrontational situations with her. Chances are, she knows how to push your buttons, and may decide to do so in the final moments together. For your sake, I hope she has found someone else.. that gets her gone quickly with no trouble because she's anxious to get going on number 5.. but if that's the case, things between them can turn ugly the moment she's about to be detached from you, and he loses interest.
Stay smart, my friend.. my thoughts will be with you.