IPT special gift for players.

R

ryanwarsaw

Registered
I have heard from some pretty well connected people in the pool world that the special gifts will be as follows.

Top 100 players will be awarded a $25 gift certificate at any participating Cracker Barrel restaraunt (coupon can not be used towards any of that champagne you will be uncorking as a result of reading this, does not include sales tax or service and can not be used in combination with anyother offer or promotion).

Commentators during the tournament will all get fried crickets and chicken claws from any IPT affiliate vendor in the metro Manila area.

The top female player (player with the largest breasts) will be have the honor of applying her $25 certificate towards a dinner date with Deno. (imagine being able to enjoy conversations as to what a 3 rail player would do on straight in shots in such a romantic place!)

The players that didn't keep their tour cards will receive a generous $10 discount off of the price of competing in a qualifier. Be sure to reserve your spot well in advance.

http://internationalpooltour.com/ipt_content/event_qualifiers/na_06_open_default.asp

The disgruntled forum posters at this site will get a complimentary copy of "Natural Cures" signed by Kevin himself ($39.95 S&H applies)

Our more mature (senile) members can also get the sequel to the first book for 1 1/2 times the retail price.

Not to be left out all of you internet viewers at home that continue to enjoy substantial savings on our great products (namely because we do our best to make it impossible to cancel) will get an extra $10 on top of the additional $20 we were giving out to run right out and sign up all of your buddies. If you continue to be a member and your friends are half as dumb as you are you may even be in part time work. Imagine the coverage they can enjoy of all the matches that were played a decade ago but are "coming soon"!

The fans that come to any IPT event will be rewarded with the same great rack rate prices on all rooms and flights (and all applicable subsequent cancellation fees).

Watch for KT to make the announcement later today and remember I gave you the inside tip. Once and for all the naysayers will be silenced.


I am actually still an IPT site member and feel bad for the players and everybody involved. Will cancel my account if the new videos dont come on soon though. I am just goofing off because what else can i do about it?

Ryan
 
goget'um said:
This is good, almost as good as bernies......................:D
Click to expand...

Better spelling, grammer and sentence structure----just hope "ryan" shares IPT payout plan (RENO) when/if he finds out .:)
 
ryanwarsaw said:
I have heard from some pretty well connected people in the pool world that the special gifts will be as follows.

Top 100 players will be awarded a $25 gift certificate at any participating Cracker Barrel restaraunt (coupon can not be used towards any of that champagne you will be uncorking as a result of reading this, does not include sales tax or service and can not be used in combination with anyother offer or promotion).

Commentators during the tournament will all get fried crickets and chicken claws from any IPT affiliate vendor in the metro Manila area.

The top female player (player with the largest breasts) will be have the honor of applying her $25 certificate towards a dinner date with Deno. (imagine being able to enjoy conversations as to what a 3 rail player would do on straight in shots in such a romantic place!)

The players that didn't keep their tour cards will receive a generous $10 discount off of the price of competing in a qualifier. Be sure to reserve your spot well in advance.

http://internationalpooltour.com/ipt_content/event_qualifiers/na_06_open_default.asp

The disgruntled forum posters at this site will get a complimentary copy of "Natural Cures" signed by Kevin himself ($39.95 S&H applies)

Our more mature (senile) members can also get the sequel to the first book for 1 1/2 times the retail price.

Not to be left out all of you internet viewers at home that continue to enjoy substantial savings on our great products (namely because we do our best to make it impossible to cancel) will get an extra $10 on top of the additional $20 we were giving out to run right out and sign up all of your buddies. If you continue to be a member and your friends are half as dumb as you are you may even be in part time work. Imagine the coverage they can enjoy of all the matches that were played a decade ago but are "coming soon"!

The fans that come to any IPT event will be rewarded with the same great rack rate prices on all rooms and flights (and all applicable subsequent cancellation fees).

Watch for KT to make the announcement later today and remember I gave you the inside tip. Once and for all the naysayers will be silenced.


I am actually still an IPT site member and feel bad for the players and everybody involved. Will cancel my account if the new videos dont come on soon though. I am just goofing off because what else can i do about it?

Ryan
Click to expand...

Hilarious!!!:D :D :D
 
Woohoo! Sarcastic humor is not considered "inthenthitive" today!

Nice post :D
 
cuetique said:
Woohoo! Sarcastic humor is not considered "inthenthitive" today!

Nice post :D
Click to expand...

You see, the right people saw this post before the wrong people today. If the same people spotted your Hugo Chavez post before the others, it would still be in the forum today. ;)
 
ryanwarsaw said:
I have heard from some pretty well connected people in the pool world that the special gifts will be as follows.

Top 100 players will be awarded a $25 gift certificate at any participating Cracker Barrel restaraunt (coupon can not be used towards any of that champagne you will be uncorking as a result of reading this, does not include sales tax or service and can not be used in combination with anyother offer or promotion).
Ryan
Click to expand...


OMG! In light of what is a horrific situation, you have added a laugh and I thank you for this! I needed this today!

You get big rep points!

Hugs,

Eydie
 
Don't forget about the new ultra-slick IPT cue shaft! A shaft to remember!

Better than Predator, the Universal Smartshaft, or the X-breaker!
 
Dr. Dissent said:
Don't forget about the new ultra-slick IPT cue shaft! A shaft to remember!

Better than Predator, the Universal Smartshaft, or the X-breaker!
Click to expand...


IPT shaft may be slick, but the tip is VERY WELL chalked. That's the part that hoits....
 
ryanwarsaw said:
I have heard from some pretty well connected people in the pool world that the special gifts will be as follows.

Top 100 players will be awarded a $25 gift certificate at any participating Cracker Barrel restaraunt (coupon can not be used towards any of that champagne you will be uncorking as a result of reading this, does not include sales tax or service and can not be used in combination with anyother offer or promotion).

Commentators during the tournament will all get fried crickets and chicken claws from any IPT affiliate vendor in the metro Manila area.

The top female player (player with the largest breasts) will be have the honor of applying her $25 certificate towards a dinner date with Deno. (imagine being able to enjoy conversations as to what a 3 rail player would do on straight in shots in such a romantic place!)

The players that didn't keep their tour cards will receive a generous $10 discount off of the price of competing in a qualifier. Be sure to reserve your spot well in advance.

http://internationalpooltour.com/ipt_content/event_qualifiers/na_06_open_default.asp

The disgruntled forum posters at this site will get a complimentary copy of "Natural Cures" signed by Kevin himself ($39.95 S&H applies)

Our more mature (senile) members can also get the sequel to the first book for 1 1/2 times the retail price.

Not to be left out all of you internet viewers at home that continue to enjoy substantial savings on our great products (namely because we do our best to make it impossible to cancel) will get an extra $10 on top of the additional $20 we were giving out to run right out and sign up all of your buddies. If you continue to be a member and your friends are half as dumb as you are you may even be in part time work. Imagine the coverage they can enjoy of all the matches that were played a decade ago but are "coming soon"!

The fans that come to any IPT event will be rewarded with the same great rack rate prices on all rooms and flights (and all applicable subsequent cancellation fees).

Watch for KT to make the announcement later today and remember I gave you the inside tip. Once and for all the naysayers will be silenced.


I am actually still an IPT site member and feel bad for the players and everybody involved. Will cancel my account if the new videos dont come on soon though. I am just goofing off because what else can i do about it?

Ryan
Click to expand...
It's the thought that counts.
Kinda like getting socks for Christmas.
 
ryanwarsaw said:
I have heard from some pretty well connected people in the pool world that the special gifts will be as follows.

Top 100 players will be awarded a $25 gift certificate at any participating Cracker Barrel restaraunt (coupon can not be used towards any of that champagne you will be uncorking as a result of reading this, does not include sales tax or service and can not be used in combination with anyother offer or promotion).

Commentators during the tournament will all get fried crickets and chicken claws from any IPT affiliate vendor in the metro Manila area.

The top female player (player with the largest breasts) will be have the honor of applying her $25 certificate towards a dinner date with Deno. (imagine being able to enjoy conversations as to what a 3 rail player would do on straight in shots in such a romantic place!)

The players that didn't keep their tour cards will receive a generous $10 discount off of the price of competing in a qualifier. Be sure to reserve your spot well in advance.

http://internationalpooltour.com/ipt_content/event_qualifiers/na_06_open_default.asp

The disgruntled forum posters at this site will get a complimentary copy of "Natural Cures" signed by Kevin himself ($39.95 S&H applies)

Our more mature (senile) members can also get the sequel to the first book for 1 1/2 times the retail price.

Not to be left out all of you internet viewers at home that continue to enjoy substantial savings on our great products (namely because we do our best to make it impossible to cancel) will get an extra $10 on top of the additional $20 we were giving out to run right out and sign up all of your buddies. If you continue to be a member and your friends are half as dumb as you are you may even be in part time work. Imagine the coverage they can enjoy of all the matches that were played a decade ago but are "coming soon"!

The fans that come to any IPT event will be rewarded with the same great rack rate prices on all rooms and flights (and all applicable subsequent cancellation fees).

Watch for KT to make the announcement later today and remember I gave you the inside tip. Once and for all the naysayers will be silenced.


I am actually still an IPT site member and feel bad for the players and everybody involved. Will cancel my account if the new videos dont come on soon though. I am just goofing off because what else can i do about it?

Ryan
Click to expand...

I received my coupon for the fried crickets and chicken claws yesterday. Since I won't be going to the WPC this year, I gave my coupon to Corey and he said he will pick them up for me while he's in Manila and bring them back so I can try them out.
 
For the record I really enjoyed the commentary. You guys cracked me up. The spirit of your reply to my post should show that you can take what you also dish out. I would give you props or rep points if I knew what either of those were. You won't be getting any "jelly" from me however.
Wish you guys all the best and don't let that Gabe give you a hard time.

Ryan
 
ryanwarsaw said:
For the record I really enjoyed the commentary. You guys cracked me up. The spirit of your reply to my post should show that you can take what you also dish out. I would give you props or rep points if I knew what either of those were. You won't be getting any "jelly" from me however.
Wish you guys all the best and don't let that Gabe give you a hard time.

Ryan
Click to expand...

Glad you enjoyed the commentary. Still waiting for them to finish the Peach and Ralph match that we commentated on. I forget all on what we said, but I remember them having a talk with us a few times durning that one and told us that it was the Gabe and Aaron show when we did the Rondey, Efren one. All the best to you too.
 
ryanwarsaw said:
I have heard from some pretty well connected people in the pool world that the special gifts will be as follows.
Click to expand...

Wow, I heard it was going to be Kirby Vacuum Cleaners for all. Everyone will get one, but you have to promise to become very familar with them and know how use them. You also must be able to show others how to use them. Wonder what that means??? Courting a new sponser perhaps? lol :)
 
I heard Santa's little helpers will try to help with whatever they can. :cool:

But they want in on the movie, at least a small line mentioning them.
 
HouseMan said:
Wow, I heard it was going to be Kirby Vacuum Cleaners for all. Everyone will get one, but you have to promise to become very familar with them and know how use them. You also must be able to show others how to use them. Wonder what that means??? Courting a new sponser perhaps? lol :)
Click to expand...

Did my father call you when he was drunk again? Truthfully after he got out of prison he sold Kirby vacuums.
 
HouseMan said:
Wow, I heard it was going to be Kirby Vacuum Cleaners for all. Everyone will get one, but you have to promise to become very familar with them and know how use them. You also must be able to show others how to use them. Wonder what that means??? Courting a new sponser perhaps? lol :)
Click to expand...


You may be right. All I know is that, whatever the gifts are, they certainly will suck...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top