This is too funny!!!!
I love the one that says get a new wife!
I love the one that says get a new wife!
Need Advice
- Thread starter rburgoyne
- Start date
Well lets just not tell her about this post ok? Especially the one you love, although I found it humorous too.
blah blah
Shoebat
Not making "The Face" is hard. I really don't think that it comes from any deep competitive desire to win, though, I think it comes from the shock and fear of watching someone you care about, who knows less about pool, line up and go for a shot that's totally wrong or impossible. OR watching them go for the right shot but in the wrong way completely.
Beginning/ weaker players have an almost imaginary, magical sense of pool. Given any layout they may not see all of the choices and opportunities available, and THEN they won't make the best (or even any of the top 3 best) decisions available. They'll go for something fantastic (as in fantasy), or they'll completely misgauge the reaction of the cueball after the shot.
So instead of experiencing the fear and expectation of the upcoming or past bad shot, try really hard to remember the exact layout (write it down if she won't notice) and another day, when you two are practicing together, set up the same layouts and walk her through some of the choices.
Don't be authoritative. Set up the layout again and let her make decisions about that shot and its alternatives. Try them out. Scientifically. After two or three of her guesses, gently suggest what you would do, and practice that. It will give her a better working knowledge of what she sees, what you see, and may hit paydirt into any misconceptions she's got that leads to bad decisions.
Beginning/ weaker players have an almost imaginary, magical sense of pool. Given any layout they may not see all of the choices and opportunities available, and THEN they won't make the best (or even any of the top 3 best) decisions available. They'll go for something fantastic (as in fantasy), or they'll completely misgauge the reaction of the cueball after the shot.
So instead of experiencing the fear and expectation of the upcoming or past bad shot, try really hard to remember the exact layout (write it down if she won't notice) and another day, when you two are practicing together, set up the same layouts and walk her through some of the choices.
Don't be authoritative. Set up the layout again and let her make decisions about that shot and its alternatives. Try them out. Scientifically. After two or three of her guesses, gently suggest what you would do, and practice that. It will give her a better working knowledge of what she sees, what you see, and may hit paydirt into any misconceptions she's got that leads to bad decisions.
I always know better than to tell her what to do. I try to stay quiet, but she asks me what ball to shoot. If I say for instance, shoot the 10 ball, she goes....which one is that? If I say its the blue one, she goes and shoots at the 2! On top of that, its still my fault because I told her to do it.
I feel for you. My wife at least knows the numbers and colors for the most part, but I can't say something like "Ok, hit the two ball into the side, just hard enough to leave the cue ball over here so you have your next shot lined up and if you miss you oponent won't have a shot". I get yelled at for telling too much information. She just wants to hear "hit the 2 in the side medium speed". If I say too much info I get a little lecture for being too detailed, so I try to keep it short and simple.
My thoughts
Your in a no win situation. It is what it is. I would try to watch making any faces but my guess is that when you miss an easy ball either she or other low rated players make a face, have a reaction to it or say something.
Most of them actually get upset when you praise them as well. "your just saying that" or "that was easy what are you talking about" etc.
Its a tough spot for both of you to be in. She will constantly be thinking about her shot selection and not missing the easy ones. She wont want to let you down. You are going to be fighting to see here do well and leave her in situations where you believe she can succeed. Yet undoubtedly you will be disappointed when she doesnt or makes a bad decision.
They see it as if your angry not that your disappointed for them.
I think its the same if we were playing with Efren, Johnny or any other top pro. We would be shocked to see them miss an easy one and they would be a little upset if they left us perfect only to watch us miss a makeable ball.
Not caring about the miss IMO isnt being very competitive. I want the emotion in it. What I dont like is people harping on mistakes or reliving them over and over. That doesnt do anyone any good.
I once had a partner get mad after missing a ball. Her friend asked her what I did. She said "Oh Nothing but I can tell what he is thinking!"
Her friend laughed at her.
Play the event, have fun and tell your wife that you are glad to be able to spend time with her especially helping out a tourney.
Your in a no win situation. It is what it is. I would try to watch making any faces but my guess is that when you miss an easy ball either she or other low rated players make a face, have a reaction to it or say something.
Most of them actually get upset when you praise them as well. "your just saying that" or "that was easy what are you talking about" etc.
Its a tough spot for both of you to be in. She will constantly be thinking about her shot selection and not missing the easy ones. She wont want to let you down. You are going to be fighting to see here do well and leave her in situations where you believe she can succeed. Yet undoubtedly you will be disappointed when she doesnt or makes a bad decision.
They see it as if your angry not that your disappointed for them.
I think its the same if we were playing with Efren, Johnny or any other top pro. We would be shocked to see them miss an easy one and they would be a little upset if they left us perfect only to watch us miss a makeable ball.
Not caring about the miss IMO isnt being very competitive. I want the emotion in it. What I dont like is people harping on mistakes or reliving them over and over. That doesnt do anyone any good.
I once had a partner get mad after missing a ball. Her friend asked her what I did. She said "Oh Nothing but I can tell what he is thinking!"
Her friend laughed at her.
Play the event, have fun and tell your wife that you are glad to be able to spend time with her especially helping out a tourney.
Well, you have things a little easier than me. To me, getting her involved is just not worth the aggravation. I think Frank said it best, its a no win situation for some of us. I dont enjoy walking on egg shells all night, but I still wish others better luck with the ladies. Liking pool is a very individual thing, ya cant force it on people....even people who might pretend to like it.
If my wife asked me to bowl, I wouldnt like it because I dont like bowling. If she bowled better than I did, I'd hate it even more.
If my wife asked me to bowl, I wouldnt like it because I dont like bowling. If she bowled better than I did, I'd hate it even more.
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Never teach your wife how to drive a car or play golf. I don't know about pool. But what the hey, I've been married 3 times.
Chew gum very emphatically and blow bubbles, etc. that will contort and hide your face a little bit to mask the cringe.
Keep in mind that what is probably upsetting her the most is not that you're giving her the look, but that she messed up and gave you reason to give her the look. She's probably more disappointed in herself than you are.
Do you ever get mad or frustrated with yourself when you miss a shot or mess up on your position play? Now imagine how you feel when you do, then imagine facing a "cringe", especially by somebody you care for. Salt on an open wound. :thud:
Good luck! And have a great time.
Keep in mind that what is probably upsetting her the most is not that you're giving her the look, but that she messed up and gave you reason to give her the look. She's probably more disappointed in herself than you are.
Do you ever get mad or frustrated with yourself when you miss a shot or mess up on your position play? Now imagine how you feel when you do, then imagine facing a "cringe", especially by somebody you care for. Salt on an open wound. :thud:
Good luck! And have a great time.