Old Sayings

i went into a new room a few weeks ago while i was out of town and i hadnt sat down 2 minutes and a guy comes over and asks me to play for 5 or 10 a rack 9ball. Im thinking he must be a pretty strong player to jump on me blind......and he didnt play bad but after a couple games warming up i reeled off 4 or 5 games in a row on him, nothing spectacular just getting out, and he pulls up.
"I need weight"
"hey this only our 8th game, you cant be asking for weight already"
"i need the wild 7 and 8"
"i think youre stalling me"
then he said "hell son I aint gotta eat the whole pig to know its pork"
i had to laugh out loud at that one. We woofed a bit, i offered him weight if he would play for bigger stakes in a race to 5 or 7, but he "didnt like races".I stopped playing him and watched him work everybody else who came in, he wasnt a bad player but i could his real strength was matching up, pretty much a locksmith.
 
JAM said:
"Putting pool players in tuxedos is like putting whipped cream on a hot dog." - [unknown player]

JAM
Click to expand...

Minnesota Fats said something to that effect when preparing to play W. Mosconi on WWOS.
 
That's what a mutherf***ah needs!

When I was playing, and might have gotten a good roll, a good open shot, or maybe a key miss by my opponent, my gamesmanship remark designed to upset the other guy was, "Now, that's what a mutherf***ah needs!" It was very effective, and I gladly will the move to the next generation.

the Beard
 
Winners & Losers

After beating a better player someone asked me,
"How did you beat him?"
"I Forrest Gumped my way through it."
The player overheard us and said,
"You give an indian an inch and he thinks he's a cowboy."
I turned back to my freind and said,
"Weight will stop a freight train."
 
A strong local one pocket player and I were discussing how to match up with a short stop from out of town. During the negotiations as to the proper weight that my player wanted he told me "I don't want to play a champion, I want to play a chumpion". I almost fell out of my chair!
 
At the pollhall wen they ask me if i am married, I'd say that i'm married to POLL ! Got kids too, but once in a wile i'll get rid of one to buy another one,(with more inlays :D ).
"Marriage is like a submarine... ; even floats, but it was made to sink !" *(S.A.B.):rolleyes:
 
quotes from a local shortsop

"watch out, theres a hole over there!" when cue ball is on its way to scratch

"he butchered another one!" when other player misses a cut

"he's human folks!" when his opponent finally misses

"that man cant play dead" tryin to lure another victim
 
"Don't worry about shape, just make the ball."
- Me, after hooking the living sh*t out of my scotch-doubles partner

"You play pool like old people f*ck!"
- Borrowed, I believe, from Full Metal Jacket

"I could beat you with one leg tied behind my back!"
- Unknown pool player

"I'll tell you what you need to do. You need to take two weeks off and then quit."
- Some (friendly) guy when asked for advice by a younger player

"I'm like Nolan f*cking Ryan with these things!"
- Bucktooth, holding a handfull of pool balls and threatening to use them

"I put the quietus (he pronounces it qui-ATE-us) on that mother f*cker!"
- Local player, after making a particularly difficult shot

And finally, this is one of my all-time favorites from Playing off the Rail. I don't have the book handy, so this may not be exact:
"The golden rule of pool is 'Do unto others before they run the table, kick you in the nuts, and take your bankroll.'"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top