One liners.

After running a rack "Don't it suck when an asshole like me gets all the rolls"

or (after rattling a ball out of a pocket and it goes in another)

"Damn, I gotta be the luckiest son of a ***** on earth!"

or

"You play golf, don't you? Better stick to it... 9-Ball ain't your game, brother"

or

"Man, you can't win... you wanna play, we'll play, but your best bet is to hock your cue and use the money for music lessons, cause you ain't gonna make any money here..."

or... and I've done this, and it almost went outside... when I owned a pool room, I had a pair of leather gloves behind the counter that I used to change out AC filters (metal on those old units was sharp). Throw the gloves out on the table when the guy is racking and say "There... now you wont' get spinters..."

or

while your opponent is racking

"Damn, you must like that end of the table, cause you spend a lot of time down there"

WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined that you'd best be at least 6'3" and 260 pounds before using the lines above.

Later,
Bob, the smart ass, trash talking, Cane Man...
 
There's only one line that bothers me and I tend to hear it alot.

"WOW! Your good! Too bad you lost!"

I hear this line ALOT!!! GRRRRRRRRR
 
Getnbzy said:
"Why do you take so much time to shoot...your still going to miss"
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Once there was a guy who tried a variation of that one on me as I got down for a long straight-in shot on the game winning 8 ball. I was taking my time, lining up perfectly and getting ready to stroke the ball, when he shouted out: "Hey, WAIT!! You can't make that shot!"

I slowly looked over at him, and dropped a one liner on him: "You wanna bet $500 on that?" Shut him up... I stood up and asked him again. That guy is a gambler, loves to gamble, but he just sat there with a nervous look on his face.

Then I got down on the shot, stroked a few times and fired the 8 into the heart of the pocket. Those were some sweet 60 seconds.

Flex
 
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My favorites...

"My one legged grandma could of made that shot...and she has a bad case of termites."

Then my other thing I like to do with an easy 8 ball is just turn away enough to catch the 8 out of the very edge of my eye and slam it in the hole with a big smile like Vincent in TCOM...

"I'm a bad MIDGET! and pretty too!"

After being hooked pretty bad and kicking the ball "I was born KICK-ing!"

Hey ya don't have to be 6'3" and 260 lbs...just gotta have a hemi in your wheelchair *grin*

Shorty
 
OldHasBeen said:
"If you keep leaving me up here on this end rail, I'm gonna need a band-aid for my hand".

TY & GL
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I was told once by a guy who sent me waaaay up-table, leaving whitey on the rail, "if it ain't froze, freeze it witch ya hand".

And the always profane, "he/ she is luckier than a koksukka with a handful of dix".
 
ALLENJK said:
" If I let you win can we go home"
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Here are a few more.....................

He's about as predictable as a wasp on speed.
I play like a beginner's girlfriend.
I'm playing so bad, I need the 7 from myself.
You wouldn't bet fat back's greasy.
Hence the expression......"shit!"
Stand on your hands. What ever falls out, we'll bet.
And if you have a team member playing badly, "We call him Lantern. He ain't too bright and we always have to carry him."

Mike
 
Black-Balled said:
And the always profane, "he/ she is luckier than a koksukka with a handful of dix".
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And of course the unlucky opposite..."If I fell in a barrell full of titties, I'd come out sucking my thumb."
 
"If I had a stroke like that, I'd stay home".

"I used to play like that before I got sick".

"That guy couldn't run a pair of panty hose".
 
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I'm an excellent trash talker when Im playing a friend, so naturally I have people talking trash back.. my favorite retort always shuts them up..

"Boy, you talk more shit than a manure salesman"
 
jbell said:
After making a 9-Ball Combo go pick the 9-Ball out of the pocket hold it up next to your face smile at the guy sna say "CHEESEEEEE"
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It aint easy, being that cheesy.
 
stolz2 said:
Anyone have any good trash talking pool one liners, like " You couldnt shoot your way out of a wet paper bag"

I need a database of these considering i cant play pool to save my life. I figured I could be the best shit talker in the pool hall.

Mack
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"Ever think of taking up bowling?"
 
Some of my favorites....

What color is the sky in that dream?

Keep dreaming Alice you'll make it to Wonderland

Don't let your alligator mouth overload your tadpole asshole...

If I had your stroke I'd give my stick away

I saw your stroke on the back of a milk carton

Hey I did'nt know you were a proctologist

Your going down faster than a 2 dollar whore
 
heres one I made up one night playing a guy and I kept leaving him safe, even accidentally, and someone on the side commented about it and I replied

"This guy is seeing so many di*ks hes going to think hes in a gay porn"
 
"Your mom called - she wants her chromosomes back!"

After a miss by your opponent you can tell him, "I used to play like that when I first started, too."

-djb
 
If you're playing a race and you only have 3 racks left, let your oppenent win the rack just before that.

Run 2 racks. While looking your oppenent in the eye (face to face) say:

"That last two was a free lesson, you will need to pay for the third".
 
When playing someone who thinks thier $25 WalMart junk is a nice cue, and can't make a ball:

Hey, I had a cue like that once, then my DAD got a job!!:D
 
Gerry said:
When playing someone who thinks thier $25 WalMart junk is a nice cue, and can't make a ball:

Hey, I had a cue like that once, then my DAD got a job!!:D
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Can't believe knowone said this one yet........

"You must hate your money."
 
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