Being somewhat of a stickler for organization and dare I say pursuit of perfection, I’ve always been attracted to Top 10 lists - short enough to get most points across and tell quickly, while long enough to make you really think about them.
For readers of this PBC thread, it should come as no surprise to learn that I create many Top 10 this-and-that lists so I can make sure and prioritize this amazing but short life I have been granted
While sipping an extra-hot quadruple espresso shot caramel macchiato, I had this fleeting image of a new LIST to add to the collection.....and thought worthy of sharing with the group for both amusement and therapeutic purposes for those in need of some “collector medicine”.
Here we go:
THINGS A COLLECTOR NEVER THINKS ABOUT
(but probably should)
10. How the HELL am I going to move 200 sets of balls some day? Down those steps? You won’t dare try more than one at a time. Getting them seemed so easy..... one at a time. But “What if?”
9. It’s not easy coming up with an unlimited number of reasons, excuses, and purposes to actually own THAT MANY ball sets. You’ve got to be creative.
8. You REALLY DO lose track of exactly what you have once you get past 15 sets. That was years ago.....so imagine what you (I) really have
7. The importance of having your very own TOP 5 LIST of favorite balls - because everyone asks. They can’t fathom having more than 3, so be prepared to offer brief explanations laced with childhood memories and they shake their head as if they understand.
6. You actually WILL Google words like fanatic, obsessive, hoarder, collector...so just pick one that resonates with you and stick to your story
5. Don’t ever tell anyone that you “collect” anything. They just keep asking questions you won’t be able to answer. Best to avoid that trap and say you “play pool”.
4. You can actually store and keep 1,097 billiard balls ON your table - under the cover - and no one will know. That’s ONE THOUSAND, NINETY SEVEN. 9 footer. And if you have an 8’er, you can park 855 of them upon the baize. That’s the easy part. Hiding the boxes is the tough part.
3. 200 boxes of pool balls actually weigh 1250 pounds.
2. Getting the ball sets is just the beginning. Consider that early. Because hindsight is always 20/20. Looking forward is equivalent to having frosted, rose colored glasses. Dirty and impossible to see through
1. There aren’t THAT MANY people out there like you. But you can find them if you look in the right places. The dark web. Self-help groups. Psychiatrist referral. Surely a forum.
There. I feel better already.
~ K.