"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."
"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Bristow's only 27."
"It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia."
"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."
"You couldn't get more excitement here if Elvis Presley walked in eating a chip sandwich!"
"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."
"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength."
"Trying to read Reyes's (is there a darts Reyes as well) mind is like trying to read the mind of Jabba the Hutt"
"This is the clash that makes King Kong versus Godzilla look like a chimpanzees tea party!"
"They've got Shakespeare on Radio 2 but you can't beat this for drama."
"It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline."
"Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out."
"His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch."
"That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank."
"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"
etc.
http://mrankin.home.cern.ch/mrankin/Waddell.htm