Pool Room Humor
- Thread starter 9balldiva
- Start date
Ring Games at Their Best
I don't how many of you have watched ring games, but at our pool hall we have the most humorous ones form. For the most part all of the guys are friends with extra money to blow. They play for $5 a man. They talk the most shit to one another, bump eachother while shooting (before the actual stroke), trip each other on the way to the table. This may be one of those "you have to be there things" but just imagine a bunch of grown men acting like 8 year old, except dirtier! It's great fun to watch on Friday nights after a long stressful week at work!
I don't how many of you have watched ring games, but at our pool hall we have the most humorous ones form. For the most part all of the guys are friends with extra money to blow. They play for $5 a man. They talk the most shit to one another, bump eachother while shooting (before the actual stroke), trip each other on the way to the table. This may be one of those "you have to be there things" but just imagine a bunch of grown men acting like 8 year old, except dirtier! It's great fun to watch on Friday nights after a long stressful week at work!
Howdy Diva,
It happened more than 10 years ago.In Blanding Billiards two guys were gambling for 850$ a set.Both the players put the money on the rail.one punk kid stormed thru the entrance door and grabed the money and ran out thru the back door.I thought that was real funny.I never heard any thing like this in my life.By the way I am not from Jacksonville and I am not from Flawda.cheers
Vagabond
It happened more than 10 years ago.In Blanding Billiards two guys were gambling for 850$ a set.Both the players put the money on the rail.one punk kid stormed thru the entrance door and grabed the money and ran out thru the back door.I thought that was real funny.I never heard any thing like this in my life.By the way I am not from Jacksonville and I am not from Flawda.cheers
Vagabond
vagabond said:
There used to be a fellow in New Orleans 20 years ago that was known for doing the same thing. His name was Mike Kirk and he could swoop through a room and snag the 'up money' in a blur (he could also snag packs of cigarettes and tips from the bar with the OTHER hand and never miss a beat). Hopefully, someone has caught up with him by now...
His name was Don but, at 5'-6ish and near 300 lbs, everybody called him 'chunky'. It was probably 1AM at the bar and Chunky was gonna shoot a game against one of the gals on the Womens League. They flipped for the break and Chunky won. Chunk stood at the head of the table while she racked and when she stepped away he raised the cue above his head, arms straight up, like a weight lifter. He pants went to his ankles. Chunk didn't have on no drawers. Twern't a pretty sight. Barmaid said she thought her corneas were permanently damaged.
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vagabond said:
In one of my first sessions in APA, there was this older german guy on our team. He was a nice guy but because of the language problems, did not grasp the subtleties of etiquette.
Well i was playing this lower level sl2. Typical of many sl2s, she was walking round and round in confusion of what shot to take next. So this german guy starts yelling, "shoot, shoot". Luckily we were able to get him to be quiet before the other team complained. But we laughed about that one for a long time.
That one had the luck of the irish and often made shots above his rated ability, but only knew one way to hit, hard. Thus he aquired the name 'bam bam'.
Laura
We had nothing to do one day so this guy said he could put a cue ball in his mouth. He gets about $100 bet and starts trying to cram it in. It wouldn't quite fit so the guy goes over to the wall and beats his head against the wall and it pops in. The guy went around and collected his $100. Nice score back then.
back in montana years ago, my buddy was playing a set of 9-ball against another friend. as usual they were drinking a few beer. they were on their 4th set(for like only $50) needless to say we "montanains" like our beer. so lance was getting ready to break, then just crushes the rack. one of the best breaks i have seen. he is standing there after the break with his arm up and to the side a little watching the balls. everyone in the room was dieing by this time. lance is standing there holding his cue, the balls stopped now and then he realizes he isn't holding his cue. when he broke, he used lots of body, kinda like archer, he let go of his cue and it flew over the table lands on the floor on the foot end, never hit anything(cue survived just fine). however lance didn't know he let go of it. when he discovered he wasn't holding a cue he went and found it and then just stood in a corner. that has to be the funniest thing i have ever seen happen in a pool hall
to wakuljr
I laughed out loud...I have actually seen that happen in our pool room. Us Floridians like our beer too. When you're from the south you have this reputation of being a drunk redneck!! Well, this guy Ferber was playing a set for $50...little bet for him. So, he was goofing off while playing. He did this running break...starting about 10 feet behind the pool table. He took a runing approach, and broke the balls perfect...made four balls, and left himself shape on the 3. Meanwhile, all the railbirds are laughing hysterically. He doesn't know why. This guy is about as hillbilly as you can get...he looks like a replica of Willie Nelson. So, he's standing with both hands on his hips admiring his break, and we are still laughing. He finally steps up to the table like he's going to shoot, and realizes his cue is gone. He looks over at us and in unison EVERY railbird points to the floor. He picks it up like nothing happened and keeps shooting.
Another time this same guy is trying to get a game with this one guy. The guy won't play him so, Ferber says, "If you agree to play me for $100, and a race to 5, I will use my toes as a bridge." ...and he did, and won. It was the most hilarious match ever!!
I laughed out loud...I have actually seen that happen in our pool room. Us Floridians like our beer too. When you're from the south you have this reputation of being a drunk redneck!! Well, this guy Ferber was playing a set for $50...little bet for him. So, he was goofing off while playing. He did this running break...starting about 10 feet behind the pool table. He took a runing approach, and broke the balls perfect...made four balls, and left himself shape on the 3. Meanwhile, all the railbirds are laughing hysterically. He doesn't know why. This guy is about as hillbilly as you can get...he looks like a replica of Willie Nelson. So, he's standing with both hands on his hips admiring his break, and we are still laughing. He finally steps up to the table like he's going to shoot, and realizes his cue is gone. He looks over at us and in unison EVERY railbird points to the floor. He picks it up like nothing happened and keeps shooting.
Another time this same guy is trying to get a game with this one guy. The guy won't play him so, Ferber says, "If you agree to play me for $100, and a race to 5, I will use my toes as a bridge." ...and he did, and won. It was the most hilarious match ever!!
I can't remember who told me this story but you have to know Scotty Townsend a bit and know that he drinks a lot - full glasses of JD's one after another.
So he was playing in georgia against another good player and had a tricky shot on the nine ball. Just as he was about to shoot a dog came out of the back room and came up to the table and barked at him. Without missing a beat Scotty slammed the nine right in the pocket. His opponent started racking the balls and said, "did you even see that dog?" Scotty replied, "you mean that was a real dog?"
So he was playing in georgia against another good player and had a tricky shot on the nine ball. Just as he was about to shoot a dog came out of the back room and came up to the table and barked at him. Without missing a beat Scotty slammed the nine right in the pocket. His opponent started racking the balls and said, "did you even see that dog?" Scotty replied, "you mean that was a real dog?"
I have another good one...
At the Annual Beat the Pro Tournament in Orange Park, FL, many pool players lined up to play the pro, Buddy Hall. This one gentleman stepped up. Older fellow, had the biker attire on...Harley shirt, Harley black boots, bandana, whole nine yards, but all around was a pretty nice guy. So, he is getting ready to shoot. He is literally stretching (to be funny...I don't know), jumping jacks, push ups, cartwheels...it was crazy. THEN he pulls out his cue...HAHA!! He had the entire butt wrapped in pink tape, like electrical tape. Swore that it made the grip much better. Don't get it, but whatever lifts your skirt!
At the Annual Beat the Pro Tournament in Orange Park, FL, many pool players lined up to play the pro, Buddy Hall. This one gentleman stepped up. Older fellow, had the biker attire on...Harley shirt, Harley black boots, bandana, whole nine yards, but all around was a pretty nice guy. So, he is getting ready to shoot. He is literally stretching (to be funny...I don't know), jumping jacks, push ups, cartwheels...it was crazy. THEN he pulls out his cue...HAHA!! He had the entire butt wrapped in pink tape, like electrical tape. Swore that it made the grip much better. Don't get it, but whatever lifts your skirt!
Bill's story about Grady
I Posted this story recently in another thread, but for those of you who hadn't seen it, it's pretty funny....
I heard Bill Incardona telling it on one of the AccuStats videos about Grady Matthews, when he got into a gambling match where he won 10 thousand, but the guy didn't have the $$$$, so it was an IOU-type situation...Well, when Grady got back to his hotel room, the phone rings, and it's the guy who owes him the money... He asks Grady if he'll settle for 7,000 instead of 10,000
and Grady, probably thinking he's gonna get some money after all, says "ok",
to which the guy says, "thanks, Grady, I owe you 7,000," and hangs up.
I Posted this story recently in another thread, but for those of you who hadn't seen it, it's pretty funny....
I heard Bill Incardona telling it on one of the AccuStats videos about Grady Matthews, when he got into a gambling match where he won 10 thousand, but the guy didn't have the $$$$, so it was an IOU-type situation...Well, when Grady got back to his hotel room, the phone rings, and it's the guy who owes him the money... He asks Grady if he'll settle for 7,000 instead of 10,000
and Grady, probably thinking he's gonna get some money after all, says "ok",
to which the guy says, "thanks, Grady, I owe you 7,000," and hangs up.
My favorite pool story happened about 4-5 years ago, old kentucky barbecue a bar in evansville had a sunday tournament for a long time, jack blood is like 85+ now no ones sure how old for sure, and he started coming in there playing. Jack is one of the top players on a bar table, southern indiana or southern illinois, he was warming up b4 the tourney one day, and he broke an ran a couple racks in a row, an the guy he was playing b4 he was about to lose asked jack where could a guy find a lil mercy? Jack proceeded to run the table, and he looks at the guy and tells him "I believe you can find mercy in the dictionary." It was funny as hell cause jack doesn't ever talk any trash he lets his game do the talking. It was a pretty good tourney until jack started coming, it had went on for months, an a couple weeks of him winning it died.
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vagabond said:
Twenty years ago (and longer) most of the pool action and big scores were in the bars (The Sonra, The Jai-Alai, The Triple Play, Charlie Chans, Southside, Sweet Williams, Fat Jimmy's, Sancho Panza's, Don Quixote's,The Bottom Line, etc.) and Mike would hear where the action was and swoop through a hundred miles an hour and Zoooooooooooom.... no more 'up money'.