Pool vs. Girlfriend.... Another one bites the dust

Mystick Cue Fan said:
Made that decision over a 4 yr. relationship.......Sad to say I chose her......But snuck out and made excuses all the time.....she still doens't know. :D

And none of you better tell her.......:mad:

Tony<-----------true story
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LOL @ Tony

How am I ever gonna play you if you don't go out any more?
 
Island Drive said:
You could also have given her a choice, "be yourself or be yourselfish."
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That's not really a choice... haven't you noticed the women's magazine aptly titled "Self"?
 
People who make ultimatums have already packed their bags.

DeadPoked said:
If it was that easy of decision she must not have meant much to you in the first place. Eventually one will come along and that decision will be a lot tougher. Hopefully anyways.
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That's one way to look at it, however in the "Big Picture", the issue really isn't pool at all. If she is able to knock that one back, there will be another issue to deal with, and another...

When you have one of those, no matter how fine you think they are, you are better off to just bite the bullet and let her make the inevitable choice, because sooner is better than later.
 
I'd drop her like a bad habit. In fact, even mentioning "competing with the pool hall" puts the woman on "probation." I make it very clear in the beginning, and I stick to it forever...
 
Slider said:
That's one way to look at it, however in the "Big Picture", the issue really isn't pool at all. If she is able to knock that one back, there will be another issue to deal with, and another...

When you have one of those, no matter how fine you think they are, you are better off to just bite the bullet and let her make the inevitable choice, because sooner is better than later.
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tap tap tap

What's rule #1?

We are not a project.


I for one, am not one to be changed. We all should bend a little here and there, so long as we are happy. But one who will say "its me or..." is selfish and is unwilling to change. I mean, its not like you NEVER saw her right?
 
DeadPoked said:
If it was that easy of decision she must not have meant much to you in the first place. Eventually one will come along and that decision will be a lot tougher. Hopefully anyways.
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The "right one" will be the one that doesn't make you choose.
 
Slider said:
That's one way to look at it, however in the "Big Picture", the issue really isn't pool at all. If she is able to knock that one back, there will be another issue to deal with, and another...

When you have one of those, no matter how fine you think they are, you are better off to just bite the bullet and let her make the inevitable choice, because sooner is better than later.
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You have that right. Too many womens magazines that you see at the check out have headings that read:
- How to make your man more attentive
- How to get your man to dress for the occasion
- how to get your man to follow 10 steps behind you and carry your purse, bags and any other crap you don't want to carry yourself.

I'm sorry ladies, like me for who I am, not who you want to make me into.
 
Good choice, as others have said, ultimatums are often a scratch in the paint that still covers a bunch of rust. She could have offered a compromise of some sorts, but no, me or pool. You did the right thing. Good form imo.
 
supergreenman said:
You have that right. Too many womens magazines that you see at the check out have headings that read:
- How to make your man more attentive
- How to get your man to dress for the occasion
- how to get your man to follow 10 steps behind you and carry your purse, bags and any other crap you don't want to carry yourself.

I'm sorry ladies, like me for who I am, not who you want to make me into.
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The World could use more like you.
 
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I didn't dump my ex for pool but she certainly showed a dislike for it when she would call and I said I couldn't talk becuase I was playing; eventually we broke up, no loss on my part though.
 
Ladies always come first that is the "golden rule". Never sacrafice a good woman for a day of pool. Find a lady that loves pool then you can have both. We can always play pool but it is a lonely game without your best friend by your side.

You both need to live out your dreams together, put together a plan
that works for you and your partner and never sacrafice a good woman
to a game of pool. Priorities comes first.
 
Ron Cook said:
Ladies always come first that is the "golden rule". Never sacrafice a good woman for a day of pool. Find a lady that loves pool then you can have both. We can always play pool but it is a lonely game without your best friend by your side.

You both need to live out your dreams together, put together a plan
that works for you and your partner and never sacrafice a good woman
to a game of pool. Priorities comes first.
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Dude, I respectfully disagree. While pool may be trigger in this situation, it's not the issue.

Most men (I think) wouldn't try to turn a girlfriend into something they weren't when we met them. Perhaps it's because we are the ones that initiate a relationship in most cases we tend to accept women for who they are.

The Issue is.... I was upfront about what my priorities in life were right from the start, it was up to her to like it or leave it.
 
supergreenman said:
Well, I'm sure this has happened to a lot of you. I was mildy given the choice of:
A) spending more time with the girlfriend or....
b) Playing pool.

Now, knowing that I was a Pool hall Junkie right from the start and that If anything, I was planning on spending more time playing pool she shouldn't have been suprised when I chose to play pool given the ultimatum.

Oh well, as they say plenty of fish in the sea.:D
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I think it's pretty obvious... You didn't care much for the girl to begin with. So your decision to choose pool appears to be a no-brainer, since you're not sacrificing all that much.

But watch out. Once THE girl comes your way whom you genuinely care for, you'll willingly and instantly sacrifice something as trivial as pool for lifelong companionship. If not, then you get better wish you find a girl who is also a pool-junkie like yourself. ;)
 
Ron Cook said:
Find a lady that loves pool then you can have both.
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WRONG! What if she loves pool more then you?

I've dated girls that never played pool who didn't understand why i was always there and of course, they would be upset that i was out all night long.

I've also dated girls who at times played more pool then i did, and then the issues became when i wanted to stay home, they wanted to go hit balls, and when i wanted to hit balls, they wanted to stay home etc etc.

And then you get the girl who plays pool and whenever you beat her at the game, you are sent to the doghouse for doing so.

Finding someone who loves pool can have it's own issues. It might be easier to get along because of mutual interest, but when someone becomes obsessed with pool, one of the 2 of you might have to deal with the issues that come from that.

Believe me, there can be many. Especially if you guys are at different stages of pool. 1 of you tired of playing and about ready to pack it in, vs the other one who is all ambitious and ready to sacrifice everything to learn how to play.

It can be quite tricky for those that are not ready. It's not immune because she just happens to play.
 
Ron Cook said:
Ladies always come first that is the "golden rule". Never sacrafice a good woman for a day of pool. Find a lady that loves pool then you can have both. We can always play pool but it is a lonely game without your best friend by your side.

You both need to live out your dreams together, put together a plan
that works for you and your partner and never sacrafice a good woman
to a game of pool. Priorities comes first.
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Ron, no doubt there is a percentage of women out there that will tolerate their guy having a few "nights out" each week playing pool, but not too many players are going to hit the jackpot the way you did.

Ken
 
supergreenman said:
You have that right. Too many womens magazines that you see at the check out have headings that read:
- How to make your man more attentive
- How to get your man to dress for the occasion
- how to get your man to follow 10 steps behind you and carry your purse, bags and any other crap you don't want to carry yourself.
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Those magazines are all written by women. Why do you think they don't ever work...
 
supergreenman said:
Well, I'm sure this has happened to a lot of you. I was mildy given the choice of:
A) spending more time with the girlfriend or....
b) Playing pool.

Now, knowing that I was a Pool hall Junkie right from the start and that If anything, I was planning on spending more time playing pool she shouldn't have been suprised when I chose to play pool given the ultimatum.

Oh well, as they say plenty of fish in the sea.:D
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I have had the same issue that many of you are expressing on this Thread. There is however a very simple solution. First of all the girl must already know that you are a pool player for life and that it is your passion and if she is a smart one and you are a good guy she will know that she is a passion of yours and should understand. I know this is usually not the case so the solution is to tell her that she is more important that pool a little white lie perhaps. Then take her out for a nice dinner and later on go to the bar for a few drinks. Then when you are at the bar ask her if she would like to play you in pool. The reason that most women are against pool is because they do not see the importance in the game usually because they themselves are not good at it. So as you are playing you carefully and suddly point out how to hit the ball and give her directions of where to hit it. if you can accoplish this feat without her blowing up on you she will most likely make a few balls and mabey with a little cheating on your part a lot of balls and will begin to love the game of pool.

Well that is my story and It worked for me, now the women I love supports my addiction to pool and sometimes even wants to play with me. She is getting quite a bit better and so is our relationship.
 
SGM,

I started playing pool AFTER I was married for a few years. I had always loved pool (my college transcript can attest to that), but I was never involved in organized pool until after I was married.

I started out in a bar league and that was okay because the hubby would tag along and have some beers out with me.

Then I started getting involved with a WPBA Regional tour and that took me away for weekends at a time.

The hubby wasn't too happy about that. I had something I was getting passionate about and he had nothing.

So what did I do? I pushed him into getting passionate about something of his own. I kicked his shop out of the basement to put my table in it and moved him into the garage where he could indulge in his woodworking.

And it worked.

Bottom line is, encourage the GF to pursue her own interests and be respectful of what she wants to do. Then she'll be respectful of what you want to do.

Barbara
 
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