Poolish Thoughts by Rack Gandy

[chefjeff]

Every time I miss a shot,

I think of kittens.

Then I don't feel so bad about missing.

Cats are the stupidest peoples.



Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

I got my name on a cold, icy winter in the Dakotas.

They put my Mom on the table and I'm came out right on the foot spot,

So, Rack was my name, pool was my game.

You can guess what brand of table it was.

Jeff Livingston

 

[pt109]

Sooooo...:idea2:....now I know how the Valley girls were born.

 

[chefjeff]

If that wagon train had had a pool table

At the Donner's Pass,

I bet they wouldn't have

Eaten each other.


Just sayin'

Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

So, should I use a glove or no glove?

Maybe some white chalk from that pyramid thingy?

I could just keep my hands washed.

What to do?

I know....buy a beer.

Jeff Livingston

 

[drv4]

I was playing my league match
Not sure what to do with one stripe left
Out comes the trusty ram shot
I five railed my last stripe and was perfect on the 8

I saw that look from my opponent with patches sewn all over his case
And I replied, "It's APA, Any pocket, asshole!"

 

[chefjeff]

If I were Keith McCready, and someone asked,

"Are you an actor?"

I'd say, "No, but I play one on tv."




Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

The nice thing about no longer having
all those newspapers laying around the pool hall is

no more employment ads staring at me
making me play "guilt pool."

Jeff Livingston

 

[Runner]

Well...

"Well, when I'm right you can call me Mr. Mathews...
When I'm wrong... You can just call me Grady"

 

[chefjeff]

So, I'm late for the pool hall this morning

and on the way, I saw a sign that says:


"Today is the most important day of your life."


Dang! You think they'd have told me that ahead of time!




Jeff Livingston

 

[pt109]

I'll never understand the banking business...:scratchhead:

I've met bankers that couldn't bank
...and tellers that won't give you any info
...and cashiers that can't handle check english

 

[chefjeff]

May your sister become so good at playing safeties

that they call her, "The Hooker."



Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

I bought me a triangle tip the other day....


...but when I got home and opened the package, the damn thing was round !!!



Jeff Livingston

 

[pt109]

I played with French tips for years....then I switched to Japanese....
...so I can use english even better...

 

[chefjeff]

MASSIVE JOCULARITY AT THE POOL HALL...

I'd like to see someone invent a device

that you could secretly put on the butt of your

opponent's cue, so everytime he touched it to the floor

it would make a fart sound.


Yeah, that's what I'd like.






Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

Join us for tonight's big debate....

TONIGHT'S DEBATE

Tonight, we are considering the question:

"Why did the cue ball cross the table?"

Jeff Livingston

 

[woodyosborne]

When shooting the money ball in a big money game,
And choosing between a safety or going for it,

My first consideration is,
Can I run faster than my opponent?



Jeff Livingston

i believe that has been in the thought's of many players through time. my best friend at a tender age had laid down on a coal miner in eastern ky and was just about to get thrashed. he was so very happy to see his huge dad walk through the door.

 

[chefjeff]

So, I'm teaching my wife my 5-point aiming system.

She asks me as she's lining up for the winning ball, "What number is this shot?"

I said, "C."



Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

It just occured to me that the difference between playing
on a 9 foot table vs. playing on a barbox is just about the same
as the difference between wearing
boxer shorts or wearing tighty whities.





Jeff Livingston

 

[chefjeff]

It occurred to me the other night at the pool hall that the pool
table is square and the balls are round. It got me thinking.....

...What if the balls were square and the table was round??

uttahere:




Jeff Livingston