Share Your Favorite Pool Hall Quips!
- Thread starter LoGiC
- Start date
after yer opponent rattles one........
"yup........if it's got tit's or tire's, sooner or later yer gonna have a problem with it."
"yup........if it's got tit's or tire's, sooner or later yer gonna have a problem with it."
Just look for the confused look!
With a sympathetic tone...
Wow...If that had gone in you'd have made it!
With a sympathetic tone...
Wow...If that had gone in you'd have made it!
years ago i was playin a "young pup" in MY hangout fer 10 bucks.....call pocket.straight in 8..........he misses the 8, i run my last 2 balls....and left myself with a straight-in 2 footer.........
i'm lining up the shot and he flutters a 10 right bout between the cue & the 8.
so.......i pick up the 10......and say... "gee thanks, i HAVE been known to miss an easy shot !!!!!"
he insisted that i shoot it........no way.........YOU quit !!!
lol.......of course he had to cause a ruckus.......b/tender threw him out !!!
i'm lining up the shot and he flutters a 10 right bout between the cue & the 8.
so.......i pick up the 10......and say... "gee thanks, i HAVE been known to miss an easy shot !!!!!"
he insisted that i shoot it........no way.........YOU quit !!!
lol.......of course he had to cause a ruckus.......b/tender threw him out !!!
That guy is so unlucky it could be raining p*ssy and he would get hit in the head with a d*ick
cjarmst
Registered
While hanging out with the hicks in NE Arkansas...
After one particularly lucky shot a guy says:
"Some days I can sh*t in a swingin' bucket"
..and another, still bleary eyed and obviously recovering from a hard night of drinking chimes in:
"hell, today I could sh*t through a screen door"
After one particularly lucky shot a guy says:
"Some days I can sh*t in a swingin' bucket"
..and another, still bleary eyed and obviously recovering from a hard night of drinking chimes in:
"hell, today I could sh*t through a screen door"
I was playing a match in a big tournament about 12 years ago and my father was watching me play for the first time (he doesn't play at all).
The match is hill-hill and my opponent absolutely DOGS the 7-ball leaving me an easy out for the win.
He walks over to his chair next to my Dad as I am mopping up and says "I don't know what happened there." My father replied, "What happened is there is no pocket where you shot that ball."
The rest of the rail went crazy laughing and I had to step in between the guy and my father before things got unruly.
Ah, those were the days...
The match is hill-hill and my opponent absolutely DOGS the 7-ball leaving me an easy out for the win.
He walks over to his chair next to my Dad as I am mopping up and says "I don't know what happened there." My father replied, "What happened is there is no pocket where you shot that ball."
The rest of the rail went crazy laughing and I had to step in between the guy and my father before things got unruly.
Ah, those were the days...
LoGiC said:Those were just a few that I still clearly remember the nights the happened on. You old timersgot any decent ones?
as an "old timer"
you got all day
just a few other AZer quotes I have collected, keep it up guys!
-"You couldn't run that table if you put sneakers on and got on top of it!"
-And after a missed ball-in-hand you say to any audience: "He had a bad angle."
-"I've never seen an ATM on 2 legs"
-"Sorry I am standing so far away...I don't want any of your game rubbing off on me"
-"Are you EVER going to make a ball...the pockets are even laughing at you"
-"I seriously don't think I can give you enough weight to make it fair"
-"(Hold up a cell phone)Bert kinister's on the phone. He says don't even bother contacting him...none of his 150 tapes will help you"
-He couldn't run out if you opened every door in the building!
-He can't play today, he's so broke he can't bet bird seed for a coockoo clock!
-He's so bad he can't even spell pool.
-You should just hang on to the rack, they say reaching is bad for your back.
-We've been here an hour. I thought you said you wanted to shoot some pool.
-When do you plan on starting?
-say to a guy playing... Does your husband play pool?
-After being hooked pretty bad and kicking the ball "I was born KICK-ing!"
-"he/ she is luckier than a koksukka with a handful of dix".
-And if you have a team member playing badly, "We call him Lantern. He ain't too bright and we always have to carry him."
-I play like a beginner's girlfriend.
-..."If I fell in a barrell full of titties, I'd come out sucking my thumb."
-"You couldn't run that table if you put sneakers on and got on top of it!"
-And after a missed ball-in-hand you say to any audience: "He had a bad angle."
-"I've never seen an ATM on 2 legs"
-"Sorry I am standing so far away...I don't want any of your game rubbing off on me"
-"Are you EVER going to make a ball...the pockets are even laughing at you"
-"I seriously don't think I can give you enough weight to make it fair"
-"(Hold up a cell phone)Bert kinister's on the phone. He says don't even bother contacting him...none of his 150 tapes will help you"
-He couldn't run out if you opened every door in the building!
-He can't play today, he's so broke he can't bet bird seed for a coockoo clock!
-He's so bad he can't even spell pool.
-You should just hang on to the rack, they say reaching is bad for your back.
-We've been here an hour. I thought you said you wanted to shoot some pool.
-When do you plan on starting?
-say to a guy playing... Does your husband play pool?
-After being hooked pretty bad and kicking the ball "I was born KICK-ing!"
-"he/ she is luckier than a koksukka with a handful of dix".
-And if you have a team member playing badly, "We call him Lantern. He ain't too bright and we always have to carry him."
-I play like a beginner's girlfriend.
-..."If I fell in a barrell full of titties, I'd come out sucking my thumb."
I knew the fat kid in dodgeball, Crack can sure do wonders.ChrisOnline said:
I the quickest Thing someone told me was
"If you shoot pool like you play the guitar, You'll make millions."
These are all great! Good thread.
A couple of guys were matching up and trying to set an amount. One guy says, "Hey, if you'll take a check, I play for anything you want!"
That reminds me of the movie, King of the Gypsys. At the funeral, the grave was still open and people were filing by dropping jewelery,etc, in and one guy drops a check in. That didn't go over too well. Ha.
A couple of guys were matching up and trying to set an amount. One guy says, "Hey, if you'll take a check, I play for anything you want!"
That reminds me of the movie, King of the Gypsys. At the funeral, the grave was still open and people were filing by dropping jewelery,etc, in and one guy drops a check in. That didn't go over too well. Ha.
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after yer opponent dosn't make a ball on the break...
"thats a girlie break...........all bust and no balls"
or
" i'd rather be lucky than good.........but i'm so unlucky i could marry a prostitute, and she'd turn celibate on me"
after winning "heads" on a coin toss..........."gee.....i always heard you gave good head"
"thats a girlie break...........all bust and no balls"
or
" i'd rather be lucky than good.........but i'm so unlucky i could marry a prostitute, and she'd turn celibate on me"
after winning "heads" on a coin toss..........."gee.....i always heard you gave good head"
after yer opponent dosn't make a ball on the break...
"thats a girlie break...........all bust and no balls"
or
" i'd rather be lucky than good.........but i'm so unlucky i could marry a prostitute, and she'd turn celibate on me"
and.....with a female opponent........
after winning "heads" on a coin toss..........."gee.....i always heard you gave good head" (also works for tap beers...LOL)
or ........."gee baby....you got a nice tail"
"thats a girlie break...........all bust and no balls"
or
" i'd rather be lucky than good.........but i'm so unlucky i could marry a prostitute, and she'd turn celibate on me"
and.....with a female opponent........
after winning "heads" on a coin toss..........."gee.....i always heard you gave good head" (also works for tap beers...LOL)
or ........."gee baby....you got a nice tail"
Alright, since this thread has gone downhill.
After crushing a break shot and not making anything, I said.......
"Reminds me of my ex-wife,............... a big crack and no action!"
Mr. Wilson, I already know I'm going to hell for this one.
After crushing a break shot and not making anything, I said.......
"Reminds me of my ex-wife,............... a big crack and no action!"
Mr. Wilson, I already know I'm going to hell for this one.
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