The Joy of Losing

Hate?

inside_english said:
The Joy of Losing

We’ve all heard the sayings, right? You know the ones:

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.
Winners never quit, quitters never win.
It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.
If winning doesn’t matter, why keep score?
Show me someone who doesn’t mind losing and I’ll show you a loser.

OK, so there is NO joy in losing. Let’s face it. Losing sucks big time.
It makes you want to heave.
It makes you angry and frustrated.
It makes you hate your opponent.
It makes you hate yourself.
It makes you hate the game.

There is nothing positive about losing.
Oh sure, we can reflect on our losses and try to learn from them, but who wants to do that when winning is so much better?

I played in a tournament this past weekend, and I finished 9th – 12th in a field of 41. I won some money, and four matches, but I only remember the loss that finally knocked me out of the tournament.

So, what’s my point, you ask?

I have been wondering for quite some time what it all means, or what is the point of competing so hard? I analyze how I feel after a loss compared to a win, and I must say, whilst winning is better, it doesn’t feel all that great. Unless I really dislike my opponent, I don’t really enjoy bashing someone’s brains in. I do derive some satisfaction in how I played, making a great comeback or a clutch shot etc., but at the end of the day I pulverized someone else, and I know they are feeling as crappy as I would have felt if roles were reversed.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no intentions of stopping anytime soon, nor will I get a table for my home and only play against myself so as not to “hurt” others, that is not the case. I just can’t help but gauge how I feel after winning, and somehow it does not measure up to the hype, at least not for me.

Yes, I AM small-time, never won thousands gambling, never won a major event, so I don’t know the rush, or the sense of achievement, or accomplishment…so I don’t know anything about that.

I am just gauging how absolutely rotten I feel after losing in a tournament and how it overwhelms the good feelings of previous wins in the very same event. The act of self-consolation (Well, at least you got in the money) doesn’t seem adequate.

So, ever ask yourself why we put ourselves through the grinder to compete in pool?

I know life is set up so we are forced to compete to excel, or even survive. But given that life is hard enough for most, why do we feel the need to add that pressure?

Maybe the commentator on ABC’s Wild World of Sports said it best, “It’s the thrill of victory…
Click to expand...

Guess I'm a weirdo.

I've learned to share the Joy of winning with the person who I just lost to.
Losing used to make me angry and frustrated. Only frustrated now.
I've definitely dis-liked some of my opponents, but I don't hate anybody.
I used to hate myself at times, but then realized it serves no purpose.
I've said, "I hate this game" a thousand times...everyone in earshot knew I didn't really mean it.

I see joy as a collective thing. Most players see a pool tournament ending with one person happy and everyone else miserable. I enjoy SEEING the JOY of others, and I'm happy just to have played in the event and had the chance for success.

Competition is over-rated anyway. It's the pleasure of playing that really matters.

Now, players who know me will say, "Who's he kidding? He gets real upset when he loses". This was true for most of my life, but I'm finally starting to grow up at age 70 (yesterday!)

Donny L
PBIA/ACS Instructor
 
Think we're on the same wavelength.

When I win I don't feel super thrilled... maybe because the stakes are just not that big, or maybe because I'm just not the type to get all giddy about things. If it's a small local tournament, I'm supposed to win and get mad if I don't. If it's a tour stop or something with actual pros I'm supposed to lose, so why show up just to donate? Either way I hate losing. Knowing it was tough doesn't really make me feel any better than knowing I lost to some donkey who can't shoot. It's still losing.

So when people say "why don't you enter these events?" or "why don't you gamble?"... it's kind of hard to make them understand, but... you get it. Basically when I win I don't feel that great but when I lose I feel awful. So the risk/reward is kind of out of whack.
 
inside_english said:
The Joy of Losing

We’ve all heard the sayings, right? You know the ones:

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.
Winners never quit, quitters never win.
It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.
If winning doesn’t matter, why keep score?
Show me someone who doesn’t mind losing and I’ll show you a loser.

OK, so there is NO joy in losing. Let’s face it. Losing sucks big time.
It makes you want to heave.
It makes you angry and frustrated.
It makes you hate your opponent.
It makes you hate yourself.
It makes you hate the game.
Click to expand...

I spend a good bit of time playing 8 ball against myself, with no opponent. You lose every game when there isn't another player. So, yeah... I'm not one of those that gets all bent out of shape over not winning. If losing bothers you that much then it sounds you probably need more practice or maybe just anger management classes...
 
DAVE_M said:
It depends. Playing a league match/tournament match and knowing I'm going into the match against a superior player makes losing less harsh. I always do my best to win, but losing is part of the game. Now, when I lose against someone I could have easily beaten... That's a different story.
Click to expand...
Yes, when playing against people who are sure to win, the victory is in learning as much as you can from their game and using it to improve your game.

The worst is when I lose because I couldn't get in stroke and flub shots that I can usually make in my sleep.
 
Wasn't it Vince Lombardi who said "Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."

I'm not advocating poor sportsmanship, but please help me understand how you can bear down through a tough shot or match if in the back of your head you don't care about the outcome?
 
Kid Dynomite said:
At the heart of this discussion is personal motivation???

Type 1. Some play pool to put food on the table and it is work!!!
Type 2. Some play pool for honor and recognition!!!

It really is a very personal thing!!!

Type 1 people encounter Type 2 people and all things equal the guy who needs to eat is clearly BETTER motivated and usually wins!!!

Type 2 people encounter Type 2 people and if one has more to lose than the other they usually lose the little reputation they earned because lets face it they were suppose to win anyways!!! So, all they can do is lose what little honor and recognition they have by losing to a lesser player!!!

Type 1 players never play Type 1 players because lets face it sharks don't eat other sharks!!!! Plus, they both realize that neither has what the other needs monetarily!!!

KD
Click to expand...
Like your descriptions, but it did make me think of diabetes...:)
 
CreeDo said:
Think we're on the same wavelength.

When I win I don't feel super thrilled... maybe because the stakes are just not that big, or maybe because I'm just not the type to get all giddy about things. If it's a small local tournament, I'm supposed to win and get mad if I don't. If it's a tour stop or something with actual pros I'm supposed to lose, so why show up just to donate? Either way I hate losing. Knowing it was tough doesn't really make me feel any better than knowing I lost to some donkey who can't shoot. It's still losing.

So when people say "why don't you enter these events?" or "why don't you gamble?"... it's kind of hard to make them understand, but... you get it. Basically when I win I don't feel that great but when I lose I feel awful. So the risk/reward is kind of out of whack.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think you get where I am coming from.
 
Xnotedgeanymore said:
I spend a good bit of time playing 8 ball against myself, with no opponent. You lose every game when there isn't another player. So, yeah... I'm not one of those that gets all bent out of shape over not winning. If losing bothers you that much then it sounds you probably need more practice or maybe just anger management classes...
Click to expand...
You misunderstand.

I suppose I was not clear in my thread, or I did not articulate properly.

I didn't mean to say losing bothers me that much, it is just that winning doesn't feel that great, all things considered...for me.

No anger management needed, just some Philosophy for Dummies...:)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top