What are some of the best Quotes you've heard?

I was lucky enough to play in Terry Stonier's weekly tournaments held at the Jointed Cue in Sacramento when I was first starting to play tournaments. Well, he always had a clever saying or something exciting to say. He used to say: "This guy banks like J.P. Morgan" and when it was a hill-hill match he would yell out: "We got action!" and I still use those to this day.

I think it is Ted Ito who always said "Twice is nice" when the bank went the second rail and in the pocket.
 
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BigDaddyInc. said:
1. "I couild'nt get a roll in a pastry shop"
2. "this guy's got more rolls than a pastry shop"
3. "I can't bust a grape today"
4. "I could'nt make a ball in the ocean"
5. "This guy's got more moves than a chinese checkerboard"
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To add to the list.

Couldn't beat his way out of a wet paper bag

He's got the IQ of a plant . haha

Can't play a radio

I'm just testin out the rails. lol
 
A few more for the list.

"He could not run out if you held the door open for him"

"Two rails never fails"
 
When someone miss's. "I heard the click, but I didn't hear the kurplunk".

Good ol' Pat from my Ballroom days on the Jersey shore, when he was playing some kid, "He can't play a radio". Or if someone showed him a cue he wasn't too impressed with, he'd pick it up with two fingers and say,
"Well, ..... it's.....". And that's all that would come out of his mouth.
 
" he could'nt run a pair of panty hose"
"last time he had a stroke it put him in the hospitol" Lord i apologize for the stroke comment. Lol!
 
An older fellow was playing one pocket at a pool room I frequent on occasion, he walks around the table looking at the loosened up balls.
He then walks to the other end of the table and fires in a 3 ball combination.
When questioned about his shot choice he responded " it was deader than disco"

The other one was from a young man originally from Kentucky who was passing through town and was watching a local shortstop put
about a six pack on his opponent in a race to 9 and said in his Kentucky drawl "that kid is tougher than Grandpa's toenails".
 
One of the old-timers used to say this while sweating a match: a player might make a decent run and get good shape on the nine-ball, the old-timer would pipe up, "if he don't make this one he better head back to Nebraska".
Bob
 
My late friend Bill Ganne said " if a player tells you : lets play for some cash. deep in the tournament after you beat him out " just respond " I thought we just played for cash?"

Bill was always great with words. He's now running racks in the big pool room in the clouds.
 
A few years back at the derby, the last year Hillbilly was into "gambling"
I was watching him hit some of those prop shots, and Bert Kinister stepped up and took 50 tries for some odds on the money, on a gaff shot.

After looking like a total non player for 50 shots, he lost and paid Hillbilly.

When Bert walked away Hillbilly was joking and making fun of him and said "if that guys a pool player, then i'm an airplane pilot.......and i can't fly a kite."

We all lost it,,, that was only one of many great lines Hillbilly had for Bert
 
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