why not just read the rules so you will know?
You want someone to explain, well as far as you know the players you play with already did! If you don't agree with their explanation, read the rules, print them out, put them in your cue case, and the next time someone your playing with does something silly, correct them, and then break out the rules to support your explanation.
Then, most likely, you will have to go back to playing by house rules just as you already do if you continue to play in their game.
Look, the best thing is to find playing partners who want to play by the rules if you feel that strongly about it.