What's the funniest thing you have seen in pool?

There are so many good stories....

One of my favorites that an older gentleman tells me of when he was younger.

He's out on the road with two other guys and one of them has a stutter, they call him "Mumbles." So they're cruising slowly through a strange dark town late at night and they don't know where the pool room is. Low and behold here comes a kid walking down the street with a pool cue case over his shoulder. Mumbles hangs his head out the window and says, "Ha Ha Ha HEY Kid? Wha wha wha where do they dog the nine ball around here?"


One of my favorites was my friend playing Buffalo Frank one pocket late at night for cash....big Frank reaching way out trying to get comfortable shooting off the bottom rail way up table, time and time again it would take him forever to get comfortable and settled in on the shot, nerves, cryin', stressin', mouthin' off, and anyone who knows Frank knows he sweats! OMG all the drama going into these shots....finally my buddy realizes he's reaching out on the rail with his flat hand on the rail bridge and stealing pennies from the rail for balls he owes! Everytime he had these shots he trying to steal a penny! Jesus those were fun times!
 
First, this is a great thread Linda! I keep reading and reading and every time I finish a page, another new one has been posted.

I’m curious, were the chicks at Mike's Place? I presume so since I usually see you there on Friday nights and they do have popcorn. That was probably the most chicks Mike's Place has ever had in attendance at once.

Here my most hilarious stories

#1
This one involves my best friend and you will need to know a little about him before I tell this story. The guy has a profound love of two things in life. Number one is pool, number two is ketchup. He puts it on everything. He uses a full packet on every bite of a burger. Yuck! I love to give him a hard time about it too. I am always making jokes about it. Anyway, we are at my house shooting some 8-ball one night. We had just returned from a late night food run amidst a long race. He was eating some of those lousy cheeseburgers. You know, the kind you get at gas stations, that although technically qualify as cheeseburgers, inexplicably taste more like hotdogs. He was dipping each bite in a ramakin (small plastic cup for sauces) full of ketchup as he always does. He’s got three of them, full of ketchup, sitting in a little tray on the floor next to the couch. So he finishes off his last bite and returns to the table to shoot. After missing, he sets his cue down leaning up against the couch and lights up a cigarette. I am in the middle of a run when I noticed that he had absent-mindedly set the but of his cue right in one of the ramakins full of ketchup. I silently point this out to my girlfriend who is also in the room and we both begin to snicker. It is so funny, that I can’t shoot and miss right away. My friend is looking at the table and realizes that I have left him an easy out. He eagerly grabs his cue without taking his eyes off the table and begins to run. Unbeknownst to him, the ramakin is stuck to the but of his cue and stays there while he is shooting. He makes several nice shots with his ketchup ramakin endcap in place. Meanwhile my girlfriend and I can hardly contain ourselves. The poor guy is trying soooo hard to not let our laughter ruin his focus. This only makes it funnier, and we are now both on the floor in tears. Finally he cracks. “What is so damn funny?” he asks. I put my hand on his shoulder and calmly told him if he wanted help I would be there for him. Naturally, he asked why. I replied “You’ve got a real problem with ketchup abuse. You like it so much you that you put it on everything. Even your cue!” He then looks down and finally catches on. So classic!

#2
This is another arial cue ball story. Another friend of mine, with a normal appetite for ketchup, and I are shooting around one night. He breaks, hitting it hard and square, but the cueball goes airborne. The cueball has a low trajectory, maybe six inches off the table. It lands right on the nose of the far left bumper, bounces, almost silently, without hitting the rail or the slate, to the foot rail bumper. It hits that bumper in the same exact way, just on the top side of the nose and is redirected to a third bumper on the far left rail. Unbelievably, it hits the bumper in the same way too and bounces right back towards his head. With a cat-like reaction he catches it inches from his face in self defense. This all happens in about ¾ of a second. You should have seen the look of surprise on his face! :eek: One second he is attacking the cueball, and the next it is as if it is fighting back. Just try hitting three bumpers without touching the slate or any rails. Its impossible!
 
TannerPruess said:
I think that was the one where Johnny was playing Robles in a straight pool run and Johnny blew a 100 ball run. He looked pretty mad and snapped the cue acrossed his back.
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Yes, that was at last year's Patriot Cup. I don't think Johnny meant to break his cue, he just put a little too much pressure on it. I've done that and have to stop myself.
 
rackmsuckr said:
I'm not talking about people taking the wrong ball, but that's funny too.

I saw an 8ball game where a player broke, flew the cueball off the table, but also made the 8 on the break. Neither player noticed that the 8 went down. There were lots of clusters of balls. The opponent took ball in hand and started shooting. By now, the crowd is smiling. They both had several innings at the table. Finally, ON THE BALL BEFORE THE 8, the guy finally realizes he has nothing to shoot at next. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized they both shot the whole game with no 8 on the table! :p

I think this demonstrates that they weren't thinking out the whole table, now were they?? :rolleyes:

I also once (a long time ago) broke and the cue flew out of my hand, sailed over the bar, and almost speared the bartender. My whole team was on the floor rolling. :o
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It was late one night and one pool hall closed down so everybody went to another one. One of the best players at the time matched up with a average local player that plays in leagues. Well the good player was giving the local the 7 and 8 for $200 a set. The score was like 3-2 and the local player called a safety and shot a ball in. You know you can do that in TAP 8 ball but not in 9 ball. LOL! So the good player had a rule book in his pool case and had to pull it and show the local. Everyone was cracking the **** up! Everyone was telling him that if you pocket a ball it's your shot again. The funny thing was that he hooked himself completely. The ball was frozen! LOL

Oh and one time I was playing a big tournament in South Carolina and it was down to the money matches on the second day. A very strong player was breaking on the table beside me and he yanked so hard on his break his cue broke at the jump break joint and his shaft and first part of his butt went flying and hit the tournament table across from him!
 
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schypda said:
First, this is a great thread Linda! I keep reading and reading and every time I finish a page, another new one has been posted.

I’m curious, were the chicks at Mike's Place? I presume so since I usually see you there on Friday nights and they do have popcorn. That was probably the most chicks Mike's Place has ever had in attendance at once.
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Yes, that's where the chicks were! I have photos somewhere. I don't know who you are. Say hi to me tomorrow.

Yes, I am really enjoying all these great stories. I am going to have to go get some from Mike, he has a million of them.
 
cmssuits said:
One of my favorites was my friend playing Buffalo Frank one pocket late at night for cash....
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I know Frank and am not surprised. That is too funny though!
 
Snapshot9 said:
As a result of losing, he had to shave his
eyebrows. Boy, did he look funny for months and months.
Kind of had that Frankenstein look.
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Duh!! Frankenstein did not shave his eyebrows. His monster had the annoying habit of kneeling on his chest and plucking them out when he'd ran out of daisies. It is one of the reasons we had to reluctantly let him go. That and drowning little girls in the pond.

Boro Nut
 
Im at a late night bar one night watching a road runner beating everyone in town when a guy runs out to the eight on him.

Now there are eight balls left on the table and he announces to the bar,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I bet Im out for 20. A spectator stands up, looks at the layout and says,,,,,,,,,,youre on. The player raises the bet to 50,,,,,,,,bet is accepted. The player raises the bet to 100,,,,,,,bet is accepted. The player raises the bet to 200,,,,,,,,,,,,the bet is accepted.

Im friends with both people, so I cant say a word. The player starts rubbing out, gets to the ball before the 8 and trys to bank a ball with some inside to hold the cue in the proper spot. Well it appeared that he was so much in a hurry to get the money that he forgot to chalk up and,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,miscued on the ball before the 8 and missed

I couldnt help but chuckle,,,,,,,,,,,,,uh, damn near fell off the bar stool laughing. After all its afriendly spot where if ya lose ya lose,,,,,,,,,,,,,,if ya win ya win,,,,,,,,no prob

btw, thats the night I learned never bet against a guy whos won the lottey,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,TWICE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,three times if you consider the miscue.

The 400 went to the bartender as a tip
 
I gotta couple...

Years ago during a Florida tour final, Buddy Hall was playing Mike Gullyasse a race to 11 for the top spor. Sitting close to the table were two older locals and through the whole match they were talking about bass fishing. Right in the middle of his back stroke one of the old guys bursted out laughing...Buddy stopped in the middle of his backswing, layed his cue on the table and sad "It might be me, I'm a lil nervous but I noticed I can here ya talking bout fishin'. I love fishin' and when this is over we can talk about it but right now I gotta make that 9-Ball". He fired the 9 and went on to win the tournament...the two old men left!!

Around 1981 two friends were playing 14.1 in the local pool room. One of the guys was a quirky fella that played pretty good, the other was a very smooth character who to this day is very close to me. Now Danny D told this story at the US OPEN this year to Nick Varner, Buddy Hall, Billy Incardona, Bobby Hunter & me as if he was there....here goes.

Quirky guy had a shot...looked and looked at it, went a table away to look at it...WENT TWO TABLES away to look at it and then disappeared. I looked at his opponent like WTF is he doin? We look at the window...which was at least 4 tables away and there was the quirky guy looking through the window at the shot, all the sudden headlights came on!!! The sight was a classic and we bursted out laughing saying "only him". Anyway, he came in and missed the ball by a diamond...BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
 
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Voodoo Daddy said:
Quirky guy had a shot...looked and looked at it, went a table away to look at it...WENT TWO TABLES away to look at it and then disappeared. I looked at his opponent like WTF is he doin? We look at the window...which was at least 4 tables away and there was the quirky guy looking through the window at the shot, all the sudden headlights came on!!! The sight was a classic and we bursted out laughing saying "only him". Anyway, he came in and missed the ball by a diamond...BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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I don't understand this one...are you saying that headlights in the parking lot came on? And if so, what's so funny about that? Please explain.
 
cuetechasaurus said:
I don't understand this one...are you saying that headlights in the parking lot came on? And if so, what's so funny about that? Please explain.
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I gotta explain that? <takes hand, turns it flat and waves it over head, makin plane noise>:eek:
 
The funniest thing I have ever heard was a guy got so mad at losing that he threw a cue ball on the some how it bounced hit the rail just right and hit him sqaure in the head and knocked him out for about 5-10mins when he came too he was so pissed that he knocked himself out that he ended up breaking his stick.....now I didnt see this a old timer told me about it. I thought it was pretty damn funny. Around here you post up or no one plays. So no ones really taken something off another guy for a bet if you dont post you dont play.
 
In Denver

A really good road player who moved to Denver wanted to play in the weekly open 9-ball tourney. The owner of the bar decides to put him in the tournament. After they have the calcutta, the road player tells the owner that he forgot his cuestick could he borrow one. The owner loans him his Southwest cue. The player is high as a kite, but manages to win his first few matches.

I'm sitting at the tournament table, talking with the room owner/TD and we start hearing a clicking noise. We ignore it for a moment and keep talking, but it is slowly starting to worry the room owner because he thinks his furnace might be going out or something so he starts looking around the room.

All of the sudden he screams and runs over to the player yelling "what the F*** are you doing?." The player is standing there stoned out of his gourd, staring off into space, holding the cue straight up in the air...and into a ceiling fan...

We-everybody except the room owner :D -laughed for months about that one
 
I think the funniest think I ever saw was about 10 years ago, we were all hanging out in the pool room doing nothing. Louis says to one of the local B players, who was really, really dumb, to stand at the end of the table. He told Todd to stand there and hold 2 balls over each of the corner pockets. Louis told him that he bet him 20 bucks that he in one shot could make both of the balls that Todd was holding in the two corner pockets he was holding them over. Todd, even after seeing Louis put 2 dimes and one quarter on the footspot agreed to this bet. Of course Louis hits the cueball, cueball is launched by the mini coin ramp he built, and hits Todd square in the pants. Todd then proceeds to drop both of the balls he was holding over the pockets in the pockets and then holds his own in pain! We were all literally rolling on the floor laughing at Todd. He was and still is the biggest dumbass I know!
 
People lining up to plunk down hard earned money for gimmick shafts! :rolleyes:


just more hot air!


Sherm
 
girlwon1 said:
I think the funniest think I ever saw was about 10 years ago, we were all hanging out in the pool room doing nothing
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Were n`t u a minor 10 years ago? How did they let u in?:cool:
 
I have a couple, and they all start with this one guy that was a teammate of myne.

I started leagues three years ago, and this guy would go just to get wasted, before matches even started he would be shitter'd, one night he was gone, his cheese slid off his cracker, anyways it was his turn, and he put the quarters in and went to the wrong side of the table and was searching for the balls,

Another time he was shooting and stood up and knocked himself out on the lights above the table, sheeesh.

Then this same guy started a fist fight almost by tapping this guy on the ass, you know like in baseball where they give that tap, anyways this guy took it to the head, and got really mad.
 
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