Which is WORSE, Fear of Losing, or Fear of Winning?
When I was 18 years old I was traveling with Dalton Leong, an Asian actor, Zen master, expert pool player.... an ideal mental coach for me at that age as I struggled to reach my full potential.
We were at a pool room in Minnesota..,.I played a match that I was winning.... then I got distracted.... one thing led to another, my confidence suffered and I ended up losing the match.
After the match I was upset at myself and grumbled "Dalton, my problem is I'm scared of losing, how do I fix that?!"
Dalton smiled, "being scared of losing is a positive thing with athletes, it makes them practice harder, exercise diligently, eat healthier, and study more hours...it's a motivating force!
CJ, you are scared of winning, this is the worst fear because it keeps you from practicing and exercising...it allows you to eat things you shouldn't and NOT study the things you should, therefore becoming complacent, so you don't have to win".....it's a negative motivating force!"
"So how do I get over my fear of winning?" I ask, puzzled with his observation.
Dalton reached in his backpack and pulled out a little white book "read this as many times as it takes, this will build a foundation that you can build on forever!"
So I read it and read it again - after the 3rd time something changed and I lost my fear of winning....., and losing....I had no fear at all.
Thanks Dalton,.I just read it for the 7th time and have learned new things every time, you were right!
The deepest levels of understanding are built like floors of a skyscraper.....who would know a book named 'Zen in the Art of Archery' would be ideal for my pool game?
You did.....thank you my friend, the building of knowledge expands exponentially.
The Game is the Teacher - RIP Dalton, you are gone, but not forgotten!
When I was 18 years old I was traveling with Dalton Leong, an Asian actor, Zen master, expert pool player.... an ideal mental coach for me at that age as I struggled to reach my full potential.
We were at a pool room in Minnesota..,.I played a match that I was winning.... then I got distracted.... one thing led to another, my confidence suffered and I ended up losing the match.
After the match I was upset at myself and grumbled "Dalton, my problem is I'm scared of losing, how do I fix that?!"
Dalton smiled, "being scared of losing is a positive thing with athletes, it makes them practice harder, exercise diligently, eat healthier, and study more hours...it's a motivating force!
CJ, you are scared of winning, this is the worst fear because it keeps you from practicing and exercising...it allows you to eat things you shouldn't and NOT study the things you should, therefore becoming complacent, so you don't have to win".....it's a negative motivating force!"
"So how do I get over my fear of winning?" I ask, puzzled with his observation.
Dalton reached in his backpack and pulled out a little white book "read this as many times as it takes, this will build a foundation that you can build on forever!"
So I read it and read it again - after the 3rd time something changed and I lost my fear of winning....., and losing....I had no fear at all.
Thanks Dalton,.I just read it for the 7th time and have learned new things every time, you were right!
The deepest levels of understanding are built like floors of a skyscraper.....who would know a book named 'Zen in the Art of Archery' would be ideal for my pool game?
You did.....thank you my friend, the building of knowledge expands exponentially.
The Game is the Teacher - RIP Dalton, you are gone, but not forgotten!
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