Great verbal comebacks

Michael Andros

Michael Andros

tiny balls, GIANT pockets
Silver Member
I'm sure pretty most everyone has heard someone say something snappy/witty/hilarious in response to something else said ( and many times, said by someone who just went off and/or lost a match they feel they shoulda won ) before, during or after a match or session or whatever. Here's my initial entry:

Efren was doing what he did/does, snapping someone off and generally, making them look like an idiot in the process. So, he ends up busting the guy and after, the guy's horse ( the one who actually went bust ) is talking to the Filipino horse and says "Man! I wish I had a million dollars!" And the Filipino says "I wish you did too!!!"

Gotta love that.

:grin-square:
 
Years ago when Louie Roberts was staying in Dallas we were playing cheap
9 ball. I looked at some shot for a long time trying to figure out the best
way to play it. Well I screwed it up and Louie says "Damn Jack you could
have done that well with a lot less preparation". The same match I missed
a fairly easy shot and left a combination on the 9. Louie says you will go
broke if you keep missing those shots". Well being the sharp guy I was I
say It's going to take me a long time to go broke at $5 a game". Louie
does that big smile turns his head Tom Cruise style and says "I hope so"
and slams in the 9 combination. The whole place erupted . Pool lost
a special one we he died.
jack
 
jackpot said:
Years ago when Louie Roberts was staying in Dallas we were playing cheap
9 ball. I looked at some shot for a long time trying to figure out the best
way to play it. Well I screwed it up and Louie says "Damn Jack you could
have done that well with a lot less preparation". The same match I missed
a fairly easy shot and left a combination on the 9. Louie says you will go
broke if you keep missing those shots". Well being the sharp guy I was I
say It's going to take me a long time to go broke at $5 a game". Louie
does that big smile turns his head Tom Cruise style and says "I hope so"
and slams in the 9 combination. The whole place erupted . Pool lost
a special one we he died.
jack
Click to expand...


I miss Louie. I used to talk to him alot when he'd come down to Tampa, which he did many times. Great, great player. A lot of class on that boy.
 
A shortstop level player once called the great Larry Lisciotti a has been to his face. The great Lisciotti, and I'll quote him word for word to give the full effect, replied "I'd rather be a has been than a never was been."
 
Was watching a gambling match between Alex P and someone else, Alex beat them and the other player said that Alex was getting easier run outs and easier shots, Alex said "well then you should play better position".
 
sjm said:
A shortstop level player once called the great Larry Lisciotti a has been to his face. The great Lisciotti, and I'll quote him word for word to give the full effect, replied "I'd rather be a has been than a never was been."
Click to expand...

Amen.


But I doubt there was a whole lotta "Has been" in LL, ever. Slowed down a bit, sure... Has been? Somehow I doubt it. I've heard people say Efren's "Over The Hill" now that he's 63. All I can say is, if Over The Hill meant I only played better at 63 than 99.9999999% of anyone who's ever played, I'd take it in a heartbeat.
 
I was playing a guy one time, and I was even though I was over matched I was winning. A combination of me playing well and him playing poorly. My opponent starts to get frustrated: at one point he missed an easy shot on the 9-ball and yelled "F*** ME!" at the top of his lungs. Naturally, this got the attention of everyone in the pool hall, so I calmly said back "Do you mind if I just beat you instead?" Everyone, including my opponent busted out laughing. Good times! :)
 
RakRunr said:
I was playing a guy one time, and I was even though I was over matched I was winning. A combination of me playing well and him playing poorly. My opponent starts to get frustrated: at one point he missed an easy shot on the 9-ball and yelled "F*** ME!" at the top of his lungs. Naturally, this got the attention of everyone in the pool hall, so I calmly said back "Do you mind if I just beat you instead?" Everyone, including my opponent busted out laughing. Good times! :)
Click to expand...

Classic. :grin:
 
I worked in pool hall as a kid and all the way through high school and there was a variety of colorful characters on most days.

There was one old guy, in his late 60s or so, called "Hack" who was a trucker and he used to stop in a couple times a week to play snooker. He wasn't very good, but he enjoyed playing with people on the front table that was up near the bar.

Old Hack had only one tooth on top and it was loose. Whenever somebody kidded him about it, he would grab it between his fingers and wiggle it at them. Another thing about him was that he always wore one of those trucker caps that kind of looked like one of those brimmed police caps. He never was without that cap. I don't know if it was because of his bald head or just because he liked it.

One day he was playing snooker and some younger guy said, "Hack, I've known you for twenty something years and I've never seen you without that cap on. If I ever see you take it off and lay it down, I'm going to shit in it."

Old Hack looked at him and smiled with his one tooth smile and said, "Boy, you may shit in my hat, but I'll tell you one thing. The man who shits in my hat, the undertaker wipes his ass."

The whole pool hall died laughing.
 
hang-the-9 said:
Was watching a gambling match between Alex P and someone else, Alex beat them and the other player said that Alex was getting easier run outs and easier shots, Alex said "well then you should play better position".
Click to expand...

Damn straight, Alex. You tell 'em, kid!
 
HawaiianEye said:
I worked in pool hall as a kid and all the way through high school and there was a variety of colorful characters on most days.

There was one old guy, in his late 60s or so, called "Hack" who was a trucker and he used to stop in a couple times a week to play snooker. He wasn't very good, but he enjoyed playing with people on the front table that was up near the bar.

Old Hack had only one tooth on top and it was loose. Whenever somebody kidded him about it, he would grab it between his fingers and wiggle it at them. Another thing about him was that he always wore one of those trucker caps that kind of looked like one of those brimmed police caps. He never was without that cap. I don't know if it was because of his bald head or just because he liked it.

One day he was playing snooker and some younger guy said, "Hack, I've known you for twenty something years and I've never seen you without that cap on. If I ever see you take it off and lay it down, I'm going to shit in it."

Old Hack looked at him and smiled with his one tooth smile and said, "Boy, you may shit in my hat, but I'll tell you one thing. The man who shits in my hat, the undertaker wipes his ass."

The whole pool hall died laughing.
Click to expand...


Shit happens! And then yer dead... :grin:
 
cant think who this line as attributed to but it goes something like this
player A matches up with player B for a large sum of money
9 ball race to 7
they flip to break and player A wins the break and runs 7 racks
player B says" i will play you again but i need a spot "
player A says "i cant give you a spot "
player B asks "why you just ran 7 racks"
player A say "i know but i dont how good YOU shoot "
 
bbb said:
cant think who this line as attributed to but it goes something like this
player A matches up with player B for a large sum of money
9 ball race to 7
they flip to break and player A wins the break and runs 7 racks
player B says" i will play you again but i need a spot "
player A says "i cant give you a spot "
player B asks "why you just ran 7 racks"
player A say "i know but i dont how good YOU shoot "
Click to expand...

Ive always heard it attributed to Keith. 'Why would I give you a spot? I havent seen you shoot yet!'
 
A mentor of mine, "Black Al" Bryan had one. If in the course of a set, he had to uncork some big stroke shot or the like, he would drain it, then turn to his opponent and deadpan, "What?? You think youre playing with kids?"

Here is another Al-ism that was more of a pickup line. He would go up to a woman and ask her, "Hey baby, wanna get a pizza and fook?" Then when she would look at him all disgusted, his reply... "Whats the matter baby? You dont like pizza or something?" :thumbup:

I miss my friend. :frown:
 

Attachments

  • ipad 12-20-14 034.JPG
    ipad 12-20-14 034.JPG
    92.4 KB · Views: 712
bbb said:
cant think who this line as attributed to but it goes something like this
player A matches up with player B for a large sum of money
9 ball race to 7
they flip to break and player A wins the break and runs 7 racks
player B says" i will play you again but i need a spot "
player A says "i cant give you a spot "
player B asks "why you just ran 7 racks"
player A say "i know but i dont how good YOU shoot "
Click to expand...

:grin-square::grin-square::grin-square:

I heard it with the last line being "I've never seen you play."
 
I would not consider a few come backs I have given as great or hilarious but I got some laughs from bystanders on these.

I have faced this captain several times over the years in 8 ball. About a year ago i faced him in 9 ball for the first time. As we were getting ready to lag he asked me what my handicap in 9 ball was. I replied a s/l 5 . He looks at me and says.....you fvckin sandbagger. I shot back.....that must be why you have asked me to jojn one of your teams every time you have seen me foe the last 3 years. He and every one on both teams bust out laughing. One of his 4 teams goes to Vegas every year and a couple times 2 of his teams went the same year.

I was playing a s/l 8 in 9 ball one night and he literally tore me a new one. As we shook hands afterward he said.....thats payback for knocking me out of the 9 ball regional qualifier a few weeks ago. I shot back....its cool but i am the one going to regionals in Nashville instead of you. Both teams and the lo who was standing there bust out laughing.
 
lorider said:
I would not consider a few come backs I have given as great or hilarious but I got some laughs from bystanders on these.

I have faced this captain several times over the years in 8 ball. About a year ago i faced him in 9 ball for the first time. As we were getting ready to lag he asked me what my handicap in 9 ball was. I replied a s/l 5 . He looks at me and says.....you fvckin sandbagger. I shot back.....that must be why you have asked me to jojn one of your teams every time you have seen me foe the last 3 years. He and every one on both teams bust out laughing. One of his 4 teams goes to Vegas every year and a couple times 2 of his teams went the same year.

I was playing a s/l 8 in 9 ball one night and he literally tore me a new one. As we shook hands afterward he said.....thats payback for knocking me out of the 9 ball regional qualifier a few weeks ago. I shot back....its cool but i am the one going to regionals in Nashville instead of you. Both teams and the lo who was standing there bust out laughing.
Click to expand...



Solid! :thumbup:
 
This one is a bit off-subject ( but, hey, it's my thread, so what the hell ) but here goes anyway:

And old hustler/player/gambler/room owner from Ohio named Russ Maddox moved to this area in the 70s and was here til he passed away sometimes in the early 0's I believe. He was a bit of a tool when it came to dealing with him, as he was convinced his ideas were the only ones worth any type consideration and, moreover, he considered you to be a idiot if you didn't agree with that.

So, anyway... Russ collected ( among other things ) Rambow cues. I owned one from @ 74 to early 76 or so. Played with it every day. The first time he saw it, he told me, "I'll give you half again what it's worth." I said no thanks, not for sale. So the next time he sees me, same thing, "I'll give you cash, right now, you can keep the case." No thanks, Russ, not for sale. Then again. And again. So after like... the 10th time, I said "Russ... you've asked me 9 or 10 times now. How many times do I have to say no before you get the message?" He looks at me and says "That's just an old Joss..."

I said "Yeah, Russ... and that's why you asked me to sell it to you 10 times... cause it's an old Joss."

He never spoke to me again...

Thankfully. :wink:
 
RakRunr said:
I was playing a guy one time, and I was even though I was over matched I was winning. A combination of me playing well and him playing poorly. My opponent starts to get frustrated: at one point he missed an easy shot on the 9-ball and yelled "F*** ME!" at the top of his lungs. Naturally, this got the attention of everyone in the pool hall, so I calmly said back "Do you mind if I just beat you instead?" Everyone, including my opponent busted out laughing. Good times! :)
Click to expand...

I had a similar one, was in a tournament and waiting for my match, next to me was a couple who happened to get matched up. As they were playing, the guy tells her "winner gets head" I pipe up "well then, I'm glad I'm not playing you now".
 
Remembered another one.

Playing with my son in a tournament, one of the players he beat stayed for a bit and several people were hanging out around a table my son was practicing. He started to half jokingly ask him to play for money, people around were goading them on, laughing. The guys said "come on, I'm giving you a chance to take my money". My son replies "Hey, I already took your money" meaning he was cashing and took they guy's entry fee. Laughter all around for that one. It was my son's first decent tournament win, was for an anniversary party at a place in Fall River MA and he came away with about $350 after. I won a bit in one of the mini tournaments they had so we both came away with a decent amount of cash, as well as making some new pool friends in the place.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top