Dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in pool!

Bob Jewett said:
There is a very old Mark Twain story that's about the same. Evidently pool players are slow to learn.

But in terms of dumb, I don't think your story holds a candle to a group who took the pool balls to the carom table, racked up eight ball, and took several shots before they figured the table was funny. It turns out the balls won't actually fit into the dust holes at the corners. They tried pushing one in by hand.

The Twain story:

Speech, April 24, 1906

The full text:
The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition. Once, when I was an underpaid reporter in Virginia City, whenever I wished to play billiards I went out to look for an easy mark. One day a stranger came to town and opened a billiard parlor. I looked him over casually. When he proposed a game, I answered, “All right.”
“Just knock the balls around a little so that I can get your gait,” he said; and when I had done so, he remarked: “I will be perfectly fair with you. I'll play you left-handed.” I felt hurt, for he was cross-eyed, freckled, and had red hair, and I determined to teach him a lesson. He won first shot, ran out, took my half-dollar, and all I got was the opportunity to chalk my cue.

“If you can play like that with your left hand,” I said, “I’d like to see you play with your right.”

“I can’t,” he said. “I’m left-handed.”
Click to expand...
 
I'm left-handed and I had a similar experience in the '70's playing six ball. A pretty strong player came to town with the intention of hustling us, but we had already been told he was coming our way. I played him a few games anyway and lost a few dollars. He wasn't giving up any weight and nobody else would play him head up. Next week he came back again, same result. The third weekend he came back and decided he was ready to give up some weight. He gave me the 5 for $5 a game and I was going down slow. I asked for the 4 and the 5, but he refused. So I told him if he gave me the 4 and the 5, I would play left-handed. Now mind you, I was only joking, because most people notice that I'm a lefty the first time I walk up to the table, and I figured he had too. I expected him to laugh, especially since this was the third time I'd played him, but he says "OK, I'll give you the 4 and the 5, but we'll have to play for $10." I was just about out of money, but I borrowed $20 from the house man and proceeded to win about $90 net. The last thing I heard him say was "I'll be damned, a left-handed pool player".
 
Last edited:
Black-Balled said:
Nobody knows to whom you reply when you post instead of reply...
Click to expand...
Which is hard to follow!
Screenshot_20231227-123259.jpg
 
Mustardeer said:
Some big-mouth wanna-be road player rolls in after a big tourney and asks who won. Only 15 people left in the room. He tells the winner chilling in a chair I’m 570, you’re 693?, I’ll play you 10 ball race to 7 even you just have to make the money balls left handed. That’s the handicap. The winner replies “hmm.. that’s a lot of weight I don’t know how much are you thinking”. “We can play cheap, $300 a set”. Winner says ok I try, 2 sets minimum though, let’s post up. They post up and clarify all the rules. It was so hard for me to keep my mouth shut but I didn’t want to kill the action. The winner was left handed. Got a better story?
Click to expand...
Don't know whether this story is better, but it's one of my favorites. A good bar table player from Texas came to one of our tournaments. We had never met but we knew each other by reputation. He asked me if I wanted to play some nine ball on the bar table for $20 a game. But I wouldn't play on a bar table and he wouldn't play on a big table, so that didn't go anywhere. Well, Jimmy (a pure hustler who was two balls better than either one of us) overheard all this and told the Texan he'd play on the bar table. Jimmy threw off enough to get the bet to $50, but when he tried to bump it to $100 the Texan had figured out he was in over his head and declined the offer. So Jimmy made a proposition..."If you play for $100, I'll put a patch over one eye." When the Texan agreed it caused quite a stir in the room, because he was about the only one there that didn't know that Jimmy had a glass eye! My Buddy Ralph said "I heard of a 5-ball spot, but I never heard of an eye-ball spot". It all ended up the the Texan losing 8 or 9 hundred dollars. True story.
 
book collector said:
Don't know if it was better, but it was pretty funny.
Cliff brings a backer in the pool room and starts playing a guy 100 dollar a game 1 pocket, giving him 10 to 6 , he should have been stealing .Now the player and his backer had put in 50 each and were taking a flyer at him. The guy wins the first game loses the second wins the third and they go back and forth a few games and the backer starts playing 5 or 10 dollar one pocket 3 tables away and stops paying attention. 10 or 15 minutes later Cliff finally gets 1 game ahead and as he is breaking the balls on the air barrel game , the backer mutters "I'm out, Cliff sells out on the break and the guy gets up and runs out, and the backer goes and collects the money. They end up winning 1700 off Cliffs backer , on the I'm out, air barrel ploy, As I always say. "There's a lot more to this game than making balls".
Click to expand...
I think I get the gist, but your story is a little hard to follow.
 
Cue Stick said:
I'm left-handed and I had a similar experience in the '70's playing six ball. A pretty strong player came to town with the intention of hustling us, but we had already been told he was coming our way. I played him a few games anyway and lost a few dollars. He wasn't giving up any weight and nobody else would play him head up. Next week he came back again, same result. The third weekend he came back and decided he was ready to give up some weight. He gave me the 5 for $5 a game and I was going down slow. I asked for the 4 and the 5, but he refused. So I told him if he gave me the 4 and the 5, I would play left-handed. Now mind you, I was only joking, because most people notice that I'm a lefty the first time I walk up to the table, and I figured he had too. I expected him to laugh, especially since this was the third time I'd played him, but he says "OK, I'll give you the 4 and the 5, but we'll have to play for $10." I was just about out of money, but I borrow $20 from the house man and proceeded to win about $90 net. The last thing I heard him say was "I'll be damned, a left-handed pool player".
Click to expand...
For those unaware of this game I will share with you a spot I used to make money quite often. You can actually spot a better player the break in 6-Ball and you have the best of it!

After you beat him, raise the spot to the five and the break! It is difficult to make a ball on the break and the six balls are always (99% of the time) out in the open. You now have an easy run out!

Don't tell anyone I told you. 😆
 
I prefer women.

For guys its better to do a group activity. Private male activities can give the wrong idea.
 
I saw Shane Jackson gambling shooting with the cue between his legs standing on his tip toes (he's maybe 5 foot and not much more) playing a guy using his bare foot on the table as his bridge. From what I remember the guy with the foot bridge played pretty strong.
 
Last edited:
SBC said:
I seen a 120 pound female lift a gold crown 2 feet on the air from end. She had some anger issues.
Click to expand...
How many hands?

There could be a few different bar bets that make a pool show more interesting.

Sleight of hand, fitness, drinking and something with technology. I have to promote technology.

How about a voice mimic to make all accents more heard.
 
Last edited:
Couple years ago I was in night shift driving taxi and picked up a customer and he said he goes to bar next town to play some pool.
I asked him couple questions about that and he was bragging how he plays big money games and so on. Then i asked couple more questions and he was suddenly Finnish Champ or something.
I was first just listening and saying "aha, aha etc" Then finally when he was telling me bullshit 15 minutes i finally got enough and said "don´t bullshit me anymore i got enough" He got kinda upset when he got called out. All the things he said revealed he was a bar banger that is not even D-player.
I then just told "I know all players all Finland and you are not one of them..."
Then he challenges me to play ..
I say ok we can play one game of 8-ball there where i drop you for 200€ if you lose taxi cost 0€ for you(it was about 40€) If you win you still pay this trip. I then say "I warn you. If you accept it is very dumb. You won´t have any chance to win this."
We arrive at that bar and we go to table and flip a coin for break and i win. After i break balls i see his face go white.
I run out and he asks what now. I tell him " you pay me and i go back to work "

Pride over bullshit is dumbest thing i know.
 
Called "hoorah" as far as I've read. Fair bet it's bullshit though I lack the perception to know for sure. I let it go unless an acquaintance wants to call. So far no actual players. I just tell myself "noobody gonna beat me stalling." and wait for them to sell out. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top