Best line from a losing opponent.

I had one about 2 weeks ago from a girl that plays the local tourney at my hall and also at hard times. Race to 3 and I beat her 3 zip. About 15 minutes later she comes to me while I am in the middle of another match and says "you must play in the APA". I said no why? She says because that wiggle you do with your stick. I was like what wiggle thing? She says "that wiggle thing you do with your stick while sitting". I was like what? I didn't even realize I was doing anything. She said that's rude. I laughed and said "first of all there is movement all around the tables". People walking between matches and just other games. Second thing I said was how long have you been playing? She said 6 years. I laughed again. I said I have underwear older than that.

I also pointed out how rude it was to interject yourself into another match you are not playing.

People are characters out there.




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Not really a "line" but I beat a guy once and he asked me to join his APA team as his hidden player. He wanted me to dump matches all year and then turn it up during the playoffs.

Waste one night a week in a bar dumping matches. No thanks.
 
Playing with the neighbors tonight.
Usual gripes:
"Your table is too fast"
"Your pockets are too small"
Boo Hoo
 
Warming up with someone before a tournament. He's got about 30 years on me. He asks, "Do you mind if I call you my rack boy?" I don't mind some competitive jabbing so I say, "Sure, sounds fun." He wins our first game and hollers out, "RACK BOY!" to summon me over. I have a smile and rack them up. He keeps it up any time he wins but I ended up ahead 6-3 on him before we need to give up the table. He packs his cue up trying to figure out where his assumption missed reality and muttered to me, "I guess you were the one that made me your rack boy." I smiled and just said, "Guess so." It was delicious.
 
The only words that should be spoken are,

Great game Sir.

I will rack now. (Unless another person plays next.)

What kind of Beer can I get for you?
 
"If I wouldn't have dogged the 6, I'd still be shooting"!

My dad and I still love using the this line to each other lol.
 
Laurel Maryland

Was a grizzled old-timer playing in a tournament in Laurel, Maryland. Sam "Seattle Sam" Trivett (I think that's how his last name was spelled), just lost his match to a terrific player in his own right. Sam dejectedly sauntered over to where Scotty and Freddie Boggs and I were sitting on bar stools in the middle of the room, Sam shook his head a few times, Apparently it didn't matter that he lost the match but what DID matter........ "How'd you do Sam?" I asked. "Boys", he growled.................."I just lost to the UGLIEST player in the room." He shook his head some more and strolled away while I attempted to pick myself up off the floor after falling off the stool from laughing so hard.
 
Was a grizzled old-timer playing in a tournament in Laurel, Maryland. Sam "Seattle Sam" Trivett (I think that's how his last name was spelled), just lost his match to a terrific player in his own right. Sam dejectedly sauntered over to where Scotty and Freddie Boggs and I were sitting on bar stools in the middle of the room, Sam shook his head a few times, Apparently it didn't matter that he lost the match but what DID matter........ "How'd you do Sam?" I asked. "Boys", he growled.................."I just lost to the UGLIEST player in the room." He shook his head some more and strolled away while I attempted to pick myself up off the floor after falling off the stool from laughing so hard.
 
Forty years ago, after a long session, my opponent and I went to the bar. When the bartender asked what he would like, he replied "Give me an arsenic...make it a double."
 
Last night neighbor said he loves my Diamond light.
He was losing.
Then he starts complaining about "not being able to see the lines"
I said "what, do you usually shoot lasers out of your eyes?!!"
....
We got in a big argument later because I won't join his pool team.
Here's a new one (off topic):
From the neighbor,
"If you don't play in a league you really don't love pool"
What kind of stupid / crazy crap is that? I was cracking up.
I crushed all his crazy reasoning.
..
I have nothing against leagues. Not trying to flame.
This guy is just clueless.
 
When I got beat by an old guy in a weekly tourney, another old guy (non player) said to me as I walked by. " you must play really bad, ole jimmy never beats anybody" I still chuckle about it when I see him.
 
I was playing in a weekly tourney (short race) and we were playing 9 ball on a gold crown with 4" pockets and very worn in cloth. We were both off a little and it was a fairly sloppy match. I think I won 4-2. After making a tough combo to win, I went to shake my opponents hand. He refused, turned away, then quickly whipped around and very loudly said, "Dude, you are ****ing terrible".....You can't make this stuff up.
 
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