'Break & Run' DVD Cover Design - Feedback Wanted

Looks good Nathan .. as always ... !!! Can't wait for it !

Alex must of been proud .. Been the only time he will be at the same height as the other ...on the cover ... hahahaha !
 
Mike Immonen

On the back cover:
Lesson 4: 9-ball... (with Mike Immonen)

Not so sure about this Mike Immonen fellow, never heard of him. He any good?


Edit: Ah, you had already noticed this. Sorry.
 
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nathandumoulin said:
lol, that long winded explanation was unnecessary, as I knew what you meant after the first sentence. :p You are however 110% right. I've made the changes as needed (it applied to the back cover as well). Thanks Jam!
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I truly didn't mean to provide a long-winded explanation; rather, I was trying to illustrate the "why" in my editorial comment in an effort to help you understand. ;)

That said, would you like for me to provide edits for the back cover? There are punctuation errors on it, but if this kind of thing is not important, I'd let her fly the way it currently reads. :smile:

You've actually given me a great idea for a new business, so I can leave this ball-and-chain job of mine. :p
 
JAM said:
There is a punctuation error. You have the Arabic number and number words in the same sentence. It needs to be one or the other.

Example A: Contains over 4 hours of content featuring 13 of the world's top players

Example B. Contains over four hours of content featuring thirteen of the world's top players

Personally, Example A reads better to my eye and is technically correct.

I also don't like the ampersand and would elect to use the word "and" in this phrase: Advanced Instruction in 8, 9, and 10 ball. I would also use the serial comma after "9."
Click to expand...

Good catch JAM and I agree with all these recommendations.

I think the cover looks great though, no need to move Darren to the front even though he did win back to back. Picture looks good as is.

Edited: I see you already read and made updates based on these suggestions. I think you're ready to move to the next phase of production now. Certainly no shortage of feedback on the AZ Forums.
 
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Must get it out of my system and 'splain it. :thumbup:

I don't care for the ampersand. Two more characters gives you the word "and."

"Box set" is two words on front and hyphened as "box-set" on back. It does not need the hyphen at all.

Should be a hyphen before "level" when used as a descriptive adjective to a noun: expert-level players. They are not "level players"; they are "expert-level players." Same with "expert level breaking." It's not "level breaking"; it's "expert-level breaking."

Get rid of the hyphens at the end of the line. Looks awkward to have partial syllables at the end of a line. Bring the whole word to the next line.

Space missing in "10ball" on back cover.

Get rid of ampersand and use "kicking and breaking" instead on back cover.

Ampersands are Latin symbols usually used most often in titles of companies or organizations.

Title of DVD is fine, but when used as a noun, as on bottom of back cover, it should be a "13 break-and-runs."

Back cover has 3-disc box set and front cover has "3 disc box set." [Impressed that you know it is "disc" and not "disk."]

Colon usage with all-capped titles and then using it again after "Lesson 1" is redundant. I would get rid of the colon at the end of the all-capped titles.

I feel better now! :p
 
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