Brilliant Idea, A Must Read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8

8-ball bernie

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
here is my absoloutly genius brilliant idea, watch this~~~~~~~

i figure no ipt player in their right mind would dare to book a flight and a room for the chicago masters event,until they recieve payment from reno right? right! so here is my idea,~~~~~~

i book now, show up, and walla, just as i suspected, no one is there, excpet the entire ipt staff,and tv crew!!!!!!!,i am the only schmuck/genius who showed, now here is where it gets fun~~~~

jon deny the tv producer for the ipt is pacing nervously back and forth cursing and muttering under his breath,you see, and his assistants are saying asking well, what? what should we do? jon reply's back I GOT IT! he say's with such enthusiaasuim his assistants leap backward! "what" they say in unison, we fake it, WHAT? they reply shocked with horrified looks on their faces, what do you mean~~~fake it, he say's just what i mean, we make bernie friend the masters champion. laughter throught occurs, bernie friend, he sucks, the guy came in what? 194, he stinks, well not at this tournament he doesn't, how are you gonna pull this off jon? it's simple we go back and pull up tapes of all the ipt players ,then we go to their misses, and we edited them in like they are playing bernie, yet we show the good players like reyes and bustamante, etc. etc.,missing! BRILLIANT his ass kissing assistant screams out, this time making deny himself jump half a foot! let's get right on it!

so, anyhow, they go into the files of the opens, and get misses, and edited them in, to shots they set up for bernie that helen keller could pocket, eventually bernie faces reyes in the finals, and blows reyes away 8-0. bernie finally gets his wish since sigel didn't even show up to his pathetic tournament, bernie now does the commentating as well!!!!!!! there you see bernie attempting to take on the tricky pink ball into the center bag, oh what a great shot! i disguise my voice with a british accent!!!!! anyhow, in the interview after the game i say, you know, reyes ain't that great after all"

jon deny says "that's a wrap" and i fly back home smiling all the way, anxious to post about tuning into versus to see me whip reyes ass!!!,now i ask you, is that smart or what?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Bernie,

I got two things to suggest:
1. Take your medication
2. Go to bed.

Nick

I think we should sponsor Bernie to go challenge Zen-Dummy in Denver.


8-ball bernie said:
here is my absoloutly genius brilliant idea, watch this~~~~~~~

i figure no ipt player in their right mind would dare to book a flight and a room for the chicago masters event,until they recieve payment from reno right? right! so here is my idea,~~~~~~

i book now, show up, and walla, just as i suspected, no one is there, excpet the entire ipt staff,and tv crew!!!!!!!,i am the only schmuck/genius who showed, now here is where it gets fun~~~~

jon deny the tv producer for the ipt is pacing nervously back and forth cursing and muttering under his breath,you see, and his assistants are saying asking well, what? what should we do? jon reply's back I GOT IT! he say's with such enthusiaasuim his assistants leap backward! "what" they say in unison, we fake it, WHAT? they reply shocked with horrified looks on their faces, what do you mean~~~fake it, he say's just what i mean, we make bernie friend the masters champion. laughter throught occurs, bernie friend, he sucks, the guy came in what? 194, he stinks, well not at this tournament he doesn't, how are you gonna pull this off jon? it's simple we go back and pull up tapes of all the ipt players ,then we go to their misses, and we edited them in like they are playing bernie, yet we show the good players like reyes and bustamante, etc. etc.,missing! BRILLIANT his ass kissing assistant screams out, this time making deny himself jump half a foot! let's get right on it!

so, anyhow, they go into the files of the opens, and get misses, and edited them in, to shots they set up for bernie that helen keller could pocket, eventually bernie faces reyes in the finals, and blows reyes away 8-0. bernie finally gets his wish since sigel didn't even show up to his pathetic tournament, bernie now does the commentating as well!!!!!!! there you see bernie attempting to take on the tricky pink ball into the center bag, oh what a great shot! i disguise my voice with a british accent!!!!! anyhow, in the interview after the game i say, you know, reyes ain't that great after all"

jon deny says "that's a wrap" and i fly back home smiling all the way, anxious to post about tuning into versus to see me whip reyes ass!!!,now i ask you, is that smart or what?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
 
What are U smokin???

ER hasn't missed enough shots in the IPT matches he's played for U to win.

Have u made the 8 ball on 8 occasions which, thru editing, would allow U to win the match?

Even the most ignorant sweater will realize ER keeps missing the same shot where you, my friend, keep making the same one or two.

Anyway, in ALL seriousness, I hope Everybody gets paid.
 
What an imagination. You should consider a literary career. Put it to good use.
 
for those of you sorry bastards that think this was a serious thread/post, please, lay down,take two of something and don't call anyone in the morning, for those of you with a sense of humor, hope you enjoyed,my way of making light of an ugly sad situation,thank you and good night from north carolina.
 
8-ball bernie said:
for those of you sorry bastards that think this was a serious thread/post, please, lay down,take two of something and don't call anyone in the morning, for those of you with a sense of humor, hope you enjoyed,my way of making light of an ugly sad situation,thank you and good night from north carolina.
Click to expand...
I knew you were screwing around, but it's still a disappointing title for this thread. For those with a sense of humor, it's even more disappointing.:eek:
 
look, i am in a situation where i either get depressed, or laugh it off,i had to let off some steam, and believe me i am freakin steamin! $5,000 is a lot of cash,so for me to be playing and have reyes superimposed, ain't such a bad fantasy is it?
 
8-ball bernie said:
for those of you sorry bastards that think this was a serious thread/post, please, lay down,take two of something and don't call anyone in the morning, for those of you with a sense of humor, hope you enjoyed,my way of making light of an ugly sad situation,thank you and good night from north carolina.
Click to expand...

Don't let them get to you Bernie. I believe with top editors, totally focused on splicing together all of the balls you made in all of your matches that it is completely realistic that you might win one match. Don't let those sorry bastards, that don't think it's possible with modern technology for you to win an edited match, get to you.
 
8-ball bernie said:
look, i am in a situation where i either get depressed, or laugh it off,i had to let off some steam, and believe me i am freakin steamin! $5,000 is a lot of cash,so for me to be playing and have reyes superimposed, ain't such a bad fantasy is it?
Click to expand...
Did your mom not hold you enough as a child?.:D

Bernie, don't sweat it, I'm just cracking on you a little. Do what I do when you get stressed or depressed, go to bed early and play with your winkie under the sheets.:D
 
8-ball bernie said:
for those of you sorry bastards that think this was a serious thread/post, please, lay down,take two of something and don't call anyone in the morning, for those of you with a sense of humor, hope you enjoyed,my way of making light of an ugly sad situation,thank you and good night from north carolina.
Click to expand...

You know where I'm comin from cause i'm still here....wouldn't you rather have JESSICA superimposed?:)

sweet dreams:D
 
8-ball bernie said:
for those of you sorry bastards that think this was a serious thread/post, please, lay down,take two of something and don't call anyone in the morning, for those of you with a sense of humor, hope you enjoyed,my way of making light of an ugly sad situation,thank you and good night from north carolina.
Click to expand...



hehehee, my friend, I think you're pretty hilarious sometimes.

I wonder why so many are bashing you, I mean sometimes it really is understandable, but doing it rutinely without giving you a chance, I think that is hollow.

I'm sure almost everybody, even the most malicious ones, would miss you if you'd be gone. I would for sure.

And those who wouldn't, I think they're missing something else in their lives then..


Maybe you should have some kind of TV show, with Jimmy White or somebody, and you could bash all the bashers there + everyone else of course 8-D
 
I think Bernie has something!

He doesn't even have to start with him making shots and Efre(m!) missing.(reminding Bernie for the commentary)

What they can do is like editors do on fishing shows. First there is a tight shot of Bernie hitting the cue ball, something he is rumored to do over sixty percent of the time. A quick cut to another camera and we see a great shot rolling into a pocket. No way for anyone to know that this is actually two different people's shots spliced together. At least KT's target audience of people who have never seen a pool table will never suspect. The misses would be spliced together the same way. KT has miles of tape to work with.

Bernie, I think your idea has jean-us, contack KT immediately or sooner!

Hu
 
Bernie that was just brilliant. You should do this more often.

On a serious note though, have you thought of applying for Tony snows job at the press core for president bush?
 
Let's make a deal!

8-ball bernie said:
here is my absoloutly genius brilliant idea, watch this~~~~~~~

i figure no ipt player in their right mind would dare to book a flight and a room for the chicago masters event,until they recieve payment from reno right? right! so here is my idea,~~~~~~

i book now, show up, and walla, just as i suspected, no one is there, excpet the entire ipt staff,and tv crew!!!!!!!,i am the only schmuck/genius who showed, now here is where it gets fun~~~~

jon deny the tv producer for the ipt is pacing nervously back and forth cursing and muttering under his breath,you see, and his assistants are saying asking well, what? what should we do? jon reply's back I GOT IT! he say's with such enthusiaasuim his assistants leap backward! "what" they say in unison, we fake it, WHAT? they reply shocked with horrified looks on their faces, what do you mean~~~fake it, he say's just what i mean, we make bernie friend the masters champion. laughter throught occurs, bernie friend, he sucks, the guy came in what? 194, he stinks, well not at this tournament he doesn't, how are you gonna pull this off jon? it's simple we go back and pull up tapes of all the ipt players ,then we go to their misses, and we edited them in like they are playing bernie, yet we show the good players like reyes and bustamante, etc. etc.,missing! BRILLIANT his ass kissing assistant screams out, this time making deny himself jump half a foot! let's get right on it!

so, anyhow, they go into the files of the opens, and get misses, and edited them in, to shots they set up for bernie that helen keller could pocket, eventually bernie faces reyes in the finals, and blows reyes away 8-0. bernie finally gets his wish since sigel didn't even show up to his pathetic tournament, bernie now does the commentating as well!!!!!!! there you see bernie attempting to take on the tricky pink ball into the center bag, oh what a great shot! i disguise my voice with a british accent!!!!! anyhow, in the interview after the game i say, you know, reyes ain't that great after all"

jon deny says "that's a wrap" and i fly back home smiling all the way, anxious to post about tuning into versus to see me whip reyes ass!!!,now i ask you, is that smart or what?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

Bernie, don't worry about your money. Together we can start the IDT (International Dropout Tour). You will be the main man for the first King of the Hill. I'll let you decide your opponent. First prize would be $10,000 with second prize being $5,000. That way you would still get your $5,000 if anything weird happens. We could do qualifiers and tournaments at $500 entry fees.

You could also be my main consultant, Tournament Director, or any other position you want. We could probably sell millions of DVD's from that KOTH tournament. We could also get a couple of million subscribers for the live videos. We could have a green room with beers, sodas, pizza, sandwiches free for the players. You could take your shoes off at any time, climb on the tables, take your jacket or tie off. Don't need to stay at the same hotel, and we will wait for anyone who is late for the matches.

Are you in with me?
 
Hey Bernie,
I'll show up with you, disguise myself to look like a different player in each match, and lay down while you mop up. You and I split 1st and 2nd place. I think we can pull it off!!
Steve
 
They may just have you play a 3 person tourney with Mike Sigel and Lori John Jones. Im sure those 2 will be there.

Southpaw
 
After KT puts a positive spin on things at the players meeting where there are only 3 in attendance, maybe you and Deno can take turns playing the 3 ball ghost while Sigel and Lori Jon put on their strings and dancing suits for KT. Then when the quintuple elimination 3 person round robin tourney starts, you can fake an old war injury thereby creating an excuse for your poor showing. Prizes will be: first place: free entry into the next 3 person event and a dvd collection of IPT bloopers(the first season), second place: a reach around from Deno and IPT the home game, third place(aka-the Bernie): complimentary left overs from the sandwich buffet after the players meeting.
It will be a hit. I can't wait to go. I've already bought my tickets, although I didn't buy them directly from the IPT, I got them on ebay for a little less.
 
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