While I think the post had humor as it primary motive, I have sold many cues that didn't play "lights out".
The strangest one was an Omega/dpk. I got the cue and it was absolutely beautiful, the shafts were full 13mm, with the original taper. I couldn't make a ball with it. The taper on the shafts was so different than anything I ever played with. To this day, that cue was head scratcher. I sold it and explained the taper difference on cue.
The guy I sold it to loved the cue. So different strokes for different folks.
I have never had someone explain the difference in taper in Omega/dpk and Southwest shafts. I thought the taper was both from Kesenbrock.
Ken