Ex wife and league question?

What would you do if your ex wife showed up with someone from your league?

  • I would allow her to play in league (and wouldn't worry about it)

    Votes: 78 78.8%

  • I would not allow her to play in league

    Votes: 2 2.0%

  • I would ask the person to quit inviting her

    Votes: 6 6.1%

  • I would ask her to not show up anymore

    Votes: 13 13.1%
  • Total voters
    99
welcome the ex

i would welcome her into the league and then use it as a motivational tool, every time my team plays her team we would try our best to totally obliterate them while smiling the entire time. drop enough 5-0 nights on them and they might get the message!

Mike
 
mm4pool said:
i would welcome her into the league and then use it as a motivational tool, every time my team plays her team we would try our best to totally obliterate them while smiling the entire time. drop enough 5-0 nights on them and they might get the message!

Mike
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I would welcome her into the also, but as long as she brings along some hot friends with her. :grin:
 
Altho I can appreciate your situation 100% in that I feel the same way you do about it, Pooltchr offered the most mature way to handle it without causing any future drama.
 
should I stay or should I go?

Seems that you have lost control of your life to two chicks. Do what you want to do. Play pool , have fun. The rest is bullsheit.
 
txplshrk said:
Hey everyone what would you do if someone you knew played in a league that you ran and they invited your ex wife to league? Now I know that the place is a public place but there is more to this. What if the person that invited your ex wife decided they wanted to put her on their team next season?

Just want to see what everyone's reaction would be or what they would suggest to handle the situation. I doubt very seriously that anyone that I try to date would want my ex wife playing in the league that I operate.
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I think the wording of your poll options is hilarious. "I woould allow....." Dude get over it, you can't control an ex wife.

If I was put in this situation, which is extremely unlikly because my ex-wife lives in the US and I'm in Canada I would do nothing. Why, because there's nothing I could do. Nothing I'd want to do, because anything I did would make me look like an Ass for trying to do anything in the first place.

I realize very well that ex wives are a source of frustration, but hell, you may be given the chance to run her out in league, now that would be sweet.

My advice is do less than nothing, it may get on her nerves that you don't care. :smile:
 
txplshrk said:
I honestly could care less who she is dating, hanging with, or whatever! I went out and started this league largely to get away from the league her and I used to play in. This way the people that were in my league are new people, and not people her and I play with.

She just happened to run into this dude and he invited her to this league!

My league has been running about a year, and she has told me she wants to play in it ever since I started it. I asked her back in March not to because there are plenty of other leagues to play in, and I don't show up to any other leagues than this one!

Anyway, part of the reason I started this league was to not be around her.
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There's your answer. You have already asked her to not to play.
 
I've been in similar shoes and I have to say, although we maintain a friendship, if I had to do it all over again, I probably would have been more vocal about my space and compromising. It's not unreasonable to ask for space but in fairness to her, you have to be ready to offer a specific date for when it's okay. Something like, "Hey, this is all still fresh. Can we take a season off from running into eachother so much?"

Poolrooms are wonderful social places and great therapy after a relationship but not if the person you're trying to get over is constantly there and it's not good for them either. Being a little organized about this can be helpful for both of you, especially if you come to an agreement in a civil manner.
 
pooltchr said:
When I walk into the pool room on league night, there are a lot of people I know and will spend time talking with. There are others I don't really know that well, but will speak if that situation comes up. There are even a few people I know and don't care to spend any time with at all. I avoid those people. It's a big pool room.

Just because you are in the same pool room, doesn't mean you need to spend time with. And if you are worrying about what she is doing, who she is talking with, etc, then you still have some unresolved issues.

Move on with your life, and let her do the same. If you cross paths, say hello and then go about your business and let her do the same.

Steve
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Exactly! It's pool league for cripes sake! Once a week, I'm assuming? It's not like it's ballroom dancing or something where you have to be near her for extended periods of time. You're spending 3-4 hours a week, sitting at opposite ends of a pool table. Shit happens, move on.

Best of luck!
 
txplshrk said:
Hey everyone what would you do if someone you knew played in a league that you ran and they invited your ex wife to league? Now I know that the place is a public place but there is more to this. What if the person that invited your ex wife decided they wanted to put her on their team next season?

Just want to see what everyone's reaction would be or what they would suggest to handle the situation. I doubt very seriously that anyone that I try to date would want my ex wife playing in the league that I operate.
Click to expand...
Sounds like maybe they want to try and help you two make up. :)
 
txplshrk said:
Hey everyone what would you do if someone you knew played in a league that you ran and they invited your ex wife to league? Now I know that the place is a public place but there is more to this. What if the person that invited your ex wife decided they wanted to put her on their team next season?

Just want to see what everyone's reaction would be or what they would suggest to handle the situation. I doubt very seriously that anyone that I try to date would want my ex wife playing in the league that I operate.
Click to expand...



It's a good thing I saw this. You've come to the right place. I used to have an "Ask MULLY" forum where people could ask me questions, these types, and I'd give the answers they were seeking. Kind of like Ann Landers with an attitude.

Anyway, here's the deal. First, what kind of relationship do you have with your ex? Was the the split amicable? Did you part on halfway decent terms? If so your first move is to give her a call and say "Look, I'm not going to tell you that you can't play in this league but I would appreciate it if you didn't. I'm just not in the place right now where we can hang out comfortably."

If it wasn't very amicable.....you're screwed. She'll do it just to spite you.

The one thing that sticks out to me in this entire thread is that everyone is pointing the finger at her. To me, I'd be pissed that the guy that you know invited her in the first place. I'm sorry, in the man code you just don't mess with a friend/acquaintances ex wife/girlfriend. It's just not done. I think it's a shi++y move on that dude's part and I'd be pretty close to wanting to whoop that ass. She didn't do anything wrong, other than accepting his invitation....which could be a stab at you, but still, that dude is wrong in all sorts of ways for even contacting her. I would definitely confront him about this. I don't know if you're the type to take that approach, which is all fine and dandy, but if it was me I'd be talking to his ass real quick like.
MULLY
 
supergreenman said:
I think the wording of your poll options is hilarious. "I woould allow....." Dude get over it, you can't control an ex wife.

If I was put in this situation, which is extremely unlikly because my ex-wife lives in the US and I'm in Canada I would do nothing. Why, because there's nothing I could do. Nothing I'd want to do, because anything I did would make me look like an Ass for trying to do anything in the first place.

I realize very well that ex wives are a source of frustration, but hell, you may be given the chance to run her out in league, now that would be sweet.

My advice is do less than nothing, it may get on her nerves that you don't care. :smile:
Click to expand...

Didn't say I could control her! LOL That's why I said allow. Because if I don't allow her to play and they make a big stink about wanting her to play I can just give up running the league. And unfortunately no body in that league is motivated enough to continue running it! That's why I chose the words allow! LOL
 
mullyman said:
It's a good thing I saw this. You've come to the right place. I used to have an "Ask MULLY" forum where people could ask me questions, these types, and I'd give the answers they were seeking. Kind of like Ann Landers with an attitude.

Anyway, here's the deal. First, what kind of relationship do you have with your ex? Was the the split amicable? Did you part on halfway decent terms? If so your first move is to give her a call and say "Look, I'm not going to tell you that you can't play in this league but I would appreciate it if you didn't. I'm just not in the place right now where we can hang out comfortably."

If it wasn't very amicable.....you're screwed. She'll do it just to spite you.

The one thing that sticks out to me in this entire thread is that everyone is pointing the finger at her. To me, I'd be pissed that the guy that you know invited her in the first place. I'm sorry, in the man code you just don't mess with a friend/acquaintances ex wife/girlfriend. It's just not done. I think it's a shi++y move on that dude's part and I'd be pretty close to wanting to whoop that ass. She didn't do anything wrong, other than accepting his invitation....which could be a stab at you, but still, that dude is wrong in all sorts of ways for even contacting her. I would definitely confront him about this. I don't know if you're the type to take that approach, which is all fine and dandy, but if it was me I'd be talking to his ass real quick like.
MULLY
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Spot On! Rep to you.
 
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