Funny pic/gif thread...

Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis.
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool. :grin:



The winner has been announced to be a fraud by the Gazette:

http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-04.html

"Incorrectly attributed to the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, 25 July 1996. The Gazette issued a decisive statement denouncing this story as a hoax on October 17, 1997."
 
IRISH COP-


A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!

Irish cop says,” License and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down? "
 
f8faac3d991f6b401738a620ab7a50b7.jpg
 
An older lady accompanied her Husband to his Dr.s appointment.

After the exam, the Dr. told the gentleman that he either had aids or dementia.

The lady said, "Thats terrible, what should I do"?

The Dr. said, "Send him to the store for a quart of milk, if he comes back, don't sleep with him".

And that earns an 8 on the Groan Scale for today.
 
Never Being Polite

*I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large
chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there
and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had
your will power.'*

*A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry
about the wait'. I said, ' Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it
eventually'.*

*I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the
bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change? ' I
said, 'Nope, you're still black'.*

*Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting
8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face
like that!*

*Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor
away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a
bacon sandwich works best!*

*Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic
shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a
woman with her mouth closed.*

*I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when
you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to
yourself. I'm going to take that.'*

*Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa. He looks down and sees
a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, where am I? The farmer
looks back up and shouts back. You're in a basket you dumb shit!*

*I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the
last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women
have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer....hell, how did
I know they wanted the name of a country?*

*I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things
commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT
the correct answers.*

*I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing
everyone off is a piece of cake!*
 
....................
 

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words of wisdom

The Great Lao-Tzu said:"It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles
that you realize there is always a way to solve problems
without using violence.”
 
I mean who comes up with this, really??? There are some really weird people out there lol
 

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I run into bears frequently when fishing in Northern Saskatchewan. They won't hurt you, unless they are hungry and you are carrying a Picinic Basket, as Yogi used to call them. I have found from experience, that it is better to give them the peanut Butter sammies and keep the beer for yourself.

On this one, I got out of the truck and went over to his side of the road so I could get a better look. Meanwhile, the truck door was open and I was quite aware of how much distance I would have to cover, with a load in my pants, if the bear decided to take a run at me.
 

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When I read that the person that owned the apartment building was the Killers Mother.

The theme from Twilight Zone started going off. Hmmm, lease or not, I would have been outta there fairly quick.

If I want Ghosts or Spirits in my life, I know where to find them. And preferably not pissed off ones that are living with you.
 

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