Funny pic/gif thread...

ronhudson

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Deer Hunting - why they use guns

Why Deer Hunters Use Guns (Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms.)

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer-- no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts!

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying lie a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.
 

SpiderWebComm

HelpImBeingOppressed
Silver Member
Butterscotch

I know I posted this in its own thread a while back, but here's my cat Butterscotch......
f_Butterscotcm_ac7ec2c.jpg


Butterscotch is the only cat who can lick his nuts while watching TV and he's also the only cat who can run out.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iafmWzbhGjg
 
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mosconiac

Job+Wife+Child=No Stroke
Silver Member
This is a new record Northern Pike in Canada. He caught it on Rainy Lake.
Check this thing out.. The man (in the photos below), was fishing and caught a 36" Pike.
As he was reeling it in, a 56" - 55lbsPike tried to eat it !!!!!

He landed them both in the same net. The last picture is unbelievable

6.jpg


w.jpg


9.jpg
 

SKUNKBOY

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
wait a minute...

Mosconiac,

That is a really big Northern Pike :eek: and those pic's are great:thumbup: ....but those pic'a seem to come up every year (at least for the past 4 years) with a similar story:eek: . I have personally seen those same pic's on the iowaoutdoors.org forum before. I'm sure some unsuspecting good intended fisherman will be posting those and that story again this year as well;) .

I'm glad you put them up as some on here, I'm sure, have never seen a fish that big nor seen one eating a fish big enough to feed a small family:) . I always enjoy your pic's...no matter where they come from.

BTW...that fish was actually caught in Sweden a few years ago. Europe seems to have a larger number of pure brute Northern Pike that North America has...must be the good weather in Sweden:p .

Thanks again and keep 'em coming...I like this thread.

L8R...Ken
 

mosconiac

Job+Wife+Child=No Stroke
Silver Member
Thanks for the clarification, Ken. Wait...a Swedish Nothern Pike? I had no idea Pike's weren't just a North American thing...but I would have NO IDEA.

Since my family came from Sweden (the old homestead still stands), maybe I should take up fishing since we look to be pretty good at it...I can't seem to get the hang of this pool thing.
 

Neil

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
BTW...that fish was actually caught in Sweden a few years ago. Europe seems to have a larger number of pure brute Northern Pike that North America has...must be the good weather in Sweden .



You're right! When yuou enlarge it, you can see it's a Swedish Fish.


fish-1.jpg

edit: sorry, that's as big as I could get it. But if you look closely at the left of the tail, you might see something.
 
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travisw

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Its true that fish was caught in sweden, and the third pic of the nothern eating the smaller one, is not of the same fish in the first two. Two seperate fish pics that got put together to make up a great story
 

Jeff

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
.....................
 

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Scaramouche

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar so he walked up to her and said,

"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. '"Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.
On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

'"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," she replied.
 

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