Funny pic/gif thread...


AzB Gold Member
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AzB Silver Member
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My apologies. Earlier today, I posted the following down at NPR. This belongs here!


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or even where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked!"
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for later in life."
Bob Hope

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde

Two old Irish men are drinking in a bar.
One says, Did you know that Elks can have sex 10 to 15 times a day?
Aww shit! says his friend, and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!


AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I asked Lena how she lost her husband, Ole! This is the story she told me:

“Vel! Ole he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type vas not on his record,

So the EMT’s asked me if I knew vat it vas , as they urgently needed to know, to save my Ole’s life.

Tragically, I never knowed his blood type, so I yust only had time to sit and say goodbye.

I’ll never forget how supportive my Ole vas. Even as he vas fading away, he kept on wispering to me, “Be positive, be positive!”

That was my Ole. Yust always thinking of others.”


A gas station owner in Virginia was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read "Free Sex with a Fill-Up.” Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his truck, and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close, the number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”

A week later the same redneck, along with his buddy Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number, and the redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.”

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.” Bubba replied, "It ain't rigged. My wife won twice”.