Funny pic/gif thread...

love this...

cb606_snooker-sofa.jpg
 
Hmmm

PROFILING:

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.
A customer approached the store clerk and asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."
 
Hmmm

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling,the blonde thanked them and said, 'Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots.'

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. 'That was beautiful,' he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, 'I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little.'

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)

The son said, 'Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.'

The blonde frowned and said, 'It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt.' She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, 'I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.

If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.'

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, 'Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.'

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. 'Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.'


And then the Grandfather walked over to the Blonde's ball and
picked it up and handed it to her and said, 'That's a gimme, sweetheart.'

The blonde smiled and said, 'Your car or mine?'

OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME!
 
Hmmm

Even if you aren't a Sports Fan this is Very Interesting!


NFL or NBA


36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault



71 repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit



14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21currently are defendants in lawsuits,



and

84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?


NBA Or NFL?
Give up yet?

Scroll down,

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Neither, it's the 535 members of the United States Congress

The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
 
Hahaha, good one Bob. And heres a little pay back for wifey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juxlKV8CqtQ

I learned my lesson many moons ago. Nothing but the best for my little nightmare, ooops, I mean dream girl.
Day spa, perfume, jewelery. Remember those four words this Christmas guys.

Talk about a perfect retort to my post.... !!!!

Remember those other two words throughout the rest of the year too: "Yes Dear".
 
Did I not already post this?!:o

my bro was in Japan recently and grabbed a bite to eat in a Yokohama train station. said they were playing (American) rap of the most brutally offensive type too!
 

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I drive past that place every year for the NZ model plane national championships.They are always closed as it is between xmas and the 1st week of january that we go past it.
In Masterton , a nearby city,they only have Tui Beer at the local pub.
 
Effy starts pole dancing at 2:29 -- never thought I'd see the day!

Click on the pic!

Screen shot 2010-12-07 at 4.36.26 PM.jpg
 
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