Heart/Passion

Zphix

Zphix

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Going in, I have no idea how long this post could get. But, a lot of people are misinterpreting my use of heart/passion for the dictionary definition of these words. Things happen early on in your life that shape the direction your life takes - you learn lessons and make decisions long before you're even aware that you're making them.

As you age, your childhood innocence (read heart/passion) is replaced by logical thinking and a culture telling you that you need college to get a degree, and you need a degree to get a good job, and you need a good job to get a wife and kids and a nice house and that's the dream. Culture is selling you a dream and most people blindly follow it. I don't follow it.

When I was younger, I used to view my dad as a hero. Around 3 I started to notice his tendency to complain about time and money, etc. and I found myself missing out on my connections with him and so at a very young age I made the decision to not be like him. This is my WHY. This is where the core of who I am can be found. I enjoy teaching/coaching/and forming connections because I know what it's like to not have them. But, I wasn't old enough to commit these decisions to conscious memory so this became a program operating behind the scenes.

From there, as I got older I found myself drawn to helping people, and in high school I found myself drawn to psychology and therapy. Then I met my mentor (in London) and I was introduced to life coaching - Anthony Robbins at first, and then into the more spiritual (don't mistake this for religious) side of humanity. Through all my reading, studying, and searching in the field of life coaching I found common themes:

1) Your heart won't steer you wrong if you choose to listen to it. Children naturally do this.

2) Your passion generates the life your heart wants - the life that is most natural to you. Not the life you logically want. A good example would be Scott Lee - he travels around and teaches pool. He's immensely satisfied with his career choice and I bet many people would have told him that he's nuts for wanting to do that. But, his passion created the life he wanted naturally.

3) There are definite patterns and loops that people naturally fall into. Patterns and loops that I've been shown long before I'm ever exposed to them.

I live to change lives and inspire people. I was very much a person who couldn't believe in anything except what science has proven or can prove (like psychology) but along the way I decided to put my beliefs into something psychology can't prove. I no longer help people through scientific means but instead by spiritual ones which I now consider to be stronger than psychology.

The human brain is a vast and fun place when you know how to navigate, and now I view the naysayers as deprived souls who lost their passion along the way. They don't acknowledge anything is wrong and so can't reach their full potential. I have an amazing coach teaching me and I absolutely refuse to be anything less than what my full potential is in pool, martial arts, and life coaching.

I'm sure some people will relate to this, and I'm sure some will attempt to attack it. I just felt the need to write this.
 
Definitely interesting

Zphix,
Very interesting post, Im with you on a lot of that. I think many of us get sidelined by the economics of life and at some point I would hope that we all will have the chance to live by passion. I am trying to do that very thing these days. Even in the face of negativity its good to know who you are and know that doesn't have to change just because someone doesn't agree, like or feel like helping you. Be well, nice post.

Zphix said:
Going in, I have no idea how long this post could get. But, a lot of people are misinterpreting my use of heart/passion for the dictionary definition of these words. Things happen early on in your life that shape the direction your life takes - you learn lessons and make decisions long before you're even aware that you're making them.

As you age, your childhood innocence (read heart/passion) is replaced by logical thinking and a culture telling you that you need college to get a degree, and you need a degree to get a good job, and you need a good job to get a wife and kids and a nice house and that's the dream. Culture is selling you a dream and most people blindly follow it. I don't follow it.

When I was younger, I used to view my dad as a hero. Around 3 I started to notice his tendency to complain about time and money, etc. and I found myself missing out on my connections with him and so at a very young age I made the decision to not be like him. This is my WHY. This is where the core of who I am can be found. I enjoy teaching/coaching/and forming connections because I know what it's like to not have them. But, I wasn't old enough to commit these decisions to conscious memory so this became a program operating behind the scenes.

From there, as I got older I found myself drawn to helping people, and in high school I found myself drawn to psychology and therapy. Then I met my mentor (in London) and I was introduced to life coaching - Anthony Robbins at first, and then into the more spiritual (don't mistake this for religious) side of humanity. Through all my reading, studying, and searching in the field of life coaching I found common themes:

1) Your heart won't steer you wrong if you choose to listen to it. Children naturally do this.

2) Your passion generates the life your heart wants - the life that is most natural to you. Not the life you logically want. A good example would be Scott Lee - he travels around and teaches pool. He's immensely satisfied with his career choice and I bet many people would have told him that he's nuts for wanting to do that. But, his passion created the life he wanted naturally.

3) There are definite patterns and loops that people naturally fall into. Patterns and loops that I've been shown long before I'm ever exposed to them.

I live to change lives and inspire people. I was very much a person who couldn't believe in anything except what science has proven or can prove (like psychology) but along the way I decided to put my beliefs into something psychology can't prove. I no longer help people through scientific means but instead by spiritual ones which I now consider to be stronger than psychology.

The human brain is a vast and fun place when you know how to navigate, and now I view the naysayers as deprived souls who lost their passion along the way. They don't acknowledge anything is wrong and so can't reach their full potential. I have an amazing coach teaching me and I absolutely refuse to be anything less than what my full potential is in pool, martial arts, and life coaching.

I'm sure some people will relate to this, and I'm sure some will attempt to attack it. I just felt the need to write this.
Click to expand...
 
But should you not have posted this in NPR.

I have an 'understanding' of what you are attempting to communicate even if words are sometimes not sufficient & especially in a text only format.

This LIFE... is a strange 'animal' & everyone's path through it certainly will not be the same & hence everyone may not arrive at the same final destination.

When I think of Heart in a sports context, I think of it as one that is willing to do & will do what is necessary for the goal at hand with no real personal concern for their safety, etc. They will sacrifice themselves & they simply refuse to fail or be defeated to the utmost of their abilities. They will give their utmost effort to be successful in the endeavor. They have as much a passion for the challenge as they do for the effort for the success of accomplishing the challenge & the goal.

They will sacrifice themselves in one way shape or manner.

That can be put into the context of this & hopefully the next Eternal Life

Such is the Sacred Heart of Jesus & the Passion of The Christ.

That means... God's Will be Done... & not mine. It's saying I will sacrifice my will & what I may want for God's Will & What God Wants.

Some confuse spiritual for religion & don't really have a good understanding of the difference.

That is not to say that there are not many good compassionate human beings with good morals & good intentions that 'think' themselves to not be spiritual.

Best Wishes to You & ALL.
 
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tradition

Hard to argue with much of this.

I think the issue is that there is a fine line between being free of the chains of conventional wisdom, and of throwing the baby out with the bath water.

The best example I can give is the research trip some psychologists took to South America. They were looking for a primitive tribe to see how they treated their clinically depressed and mentally unstable tribe members since they didn't have modern medicine. Unfortunately they didn't find out- because there weren't any. That's right. No one was clinically depressed. The researchers eventually concluded that this tribe had evolved naturally over thousands and thousands of years to get the exact lifestyle that best suited humans: Plenty of sunlight, healthy diet, lots of exercise, deep rooted community, strong spirituality, etc. Bottom line, they had life close to solved through a long gradual evolution.

Now in our society we have technology and we have resources and we no longer need to be 'oppressed' with the need to go fend for our food, or to toil in a field. The result? We live online and are sun deprived and have to go tan, we eat garbage and hire personal trainers, we live in our own boxes and spread out across the country with disposable marriages and friendships and make up for it with facebook likes and rep on poolroom forums, etc. It's so synthetic and we're more stressed than ever (or at least you get my point).

I agree with a lot of what you're saying. What I've come to learn, though, is that there is a reason that our culture evolved through thousands of years to act a certain way, do certain things, and believe certain principles. It's really easy to come along and say, 'pshaw, this isn't the best way to live' and start making big changes. Yet you have no idea the unforseen consequences of those changes.

Now I'm using the generic 'you', not aimed at you. I'm sure a lot of your life coaching is about helping people find that those things are important to them and finding ways to reintegrate those thematic needs into their life more directly, etc. And these days that is important. But frankly this notion that following your passion is a secret formula that no one thought of for thousands of years and is now going to enable a higher level of purpose and fulfillment...I just don't quite see it that way. The idea of putting your passions as the pinnacle of one's life can be dangerous, and in my opinion anytime one put's oneself at the center of ANY model it is destructive.

Look, I'm sure I am twisting some things you've said. I also agree with a lot of it. I can tell you're a bright guy, and that you are motivated by doing positive things that truly help people. Nothing wrong with any of that. In fact, I'd bet we'd have some good conversations if we were at the same poolhall, maybe even become friends. I'd just caution you from being too cocky. Trust me kid, I don't pretend I've got it figured out, but I promise you don't either. Tread softly. Be passionate. Take bold action. Lead on. Just don't think you've got it solved just yet. ;) It's all good bro.
 
Tin Man said:
Hard to argue with much of this.

I think the issue is that there is a fine line between being free of the chains of conventional wisdom, and of throwing the baby out with the bath water.

The best example I can give is the research trip some psychologists took to South America. They were looking for a primitive tribe to see how they treated their clinically depressed and mentally unstable tribe members since they didn't have modern medicine. Unfortunately they didn't find out- because there weren't any. That's right. No one was clinically depressed. The researchers eventually concluded that this tribe had evolved naturally over thousands and thousands of years to get the exact lifestyle that best suited humans: Plenty of sunlight, healthy diet, lots of exercise, deep rooted community, strong spirituality, etc. Bottom line, they had life close to solved through a long gradual evolution.

Now in our society we have technology and we have resources and we no longer need to be 'oppressed' with the need to go fend for our food, or to toil in a field. The result? We live online and are sun deprived and have to go tan, we eat garbage and hire personal trainers, we live in our own boxes and spread out across the country with disposable marriages and friendships and make up for it with facebook likes and rep on poolroom forums, etc. It's so synthetic and we're more stressed than ever (or at least you get my point).

I agree with a lot of what you're saying. What I've come to learn, though, is that there is a reason that our culture evolved through thousands of years to act a certain way, do certain things, and believe certain principles. It's really easy to come along and say, 'pshaw, this isn't the best way to live' and start making big changes. Yet you have no idea the unforseen consequences of those changes.

Now I'm using the generic 'you', not aimed at you. I'm sure a lot of your life coaching is about helping people find that those things are important to them and finding ways to reintegrate those thematic needs into their life more directly, etc. And these days that is important. But frankly this notion that following your passion is a secret formula that no one thought of for thousands of years and is now going to enable a higher level of purpose and fulfillment...I just don't quite see it that way. The idea of putting your passions as the pinnacle of one's life can be dangerous, and in my opinion anytime one put's oneself at the center of ANY model it is destructive.

Look, I'm sure I am twisting some things you've said. I also agree with a lot of it. I can tell you're a bright guy, and that you are motivated by doing positive things that truly help people. Nothing wrong with any of that. In fact, I'd bet we'd have some good conversations if we were at the same poolhall, maybe even become friends. I'd just caution you from being too cocky. Trust me kid, I don't pretend I've got it figured out, but I promise you don't either. Tread softly. Be passionate. Take bold action. Lead on. Just don't think you've got it solved just yet. ;) It's all good bro.
Click to expand...

I like your similar yet different perspective. I don't think you're twisting my words but I think I'm miscommunicating some thoughts/views of mine for sure. I've always had a tough time explaining my points sufficiently.

You're right about not seeing the consequences of some changes but I don't think that should stop somebody from making the changes. Obviously, this style of thinking isn't for everybody - an officeworker who is comfortable with his job even if he loves painting likely won't make these changes. But, the people who are coming from nothing and the people who are miserable certainly would. My goal isn't to free people from conventional wisdom, it's simply to help people live the lives that are true to them.

For that to happen, people must first think that the life they are living has problems, and they must feel sufficiently emotional about the problems to even want to change them. As for the cockiness, I'm almost forced to present myself that way because the general view I receive is "You're only 20, you can't possibly know anything." To combat that initial view I almost have to take on a superbly confident and sometimes arrogant view but as you said at my roots I'm living to help people not to be an a^&$@le.

Regarding our culture, I can't say I have an informed view of it. I haven't looked into the changes in our culture deeply enough to haven an informed opinion. But, I do know that a lot of people derive their values and dreams from the media where the dream is to go to school, get good grades, get a good job, then you can have a good house and car to get a good wife and children. Many people pursue this and reach it only to find out they aren't happy and by that time they've wasted a lot of time.

Now, I'm not against that dream per say if it means the person following it will be happy but I am against if it means somebody will be miserable because of it. It's not my place to say what will or will not make somebody happy, nor is it my place to say that a way a person is living is good or bad for them. I will offer coaching to those who feel that they are in need of it.

The only thing I might disagree with it having your life revolve around something you're passionate about. It's the same as the adage of "If you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life." A hypothetical instance would be if I can pay for a house, a wife, and the kids I will one day have and still be able to play pool daily then I will enjoy my life every day because pool means that much to me. I'd also say that whatever you are passionate about comes from a place of selfishness (which isn't a bad thing by the way).

My want to help people comes from a place of selfishness and vulnerability. But, that selfishness compels me to help pull people up to higher levels of living. The same can be said of a devout priest. His want to pass on the word of God comes from a place of selfishness but it betters himself and the people who hear his words. You are correct though, that putting your passion at the center of your life is dangerous... but it's only potentially dangerous. The source of your greatest pain is also the source of your greatest pleasure, and that which you are passionate about certainly can backfire and suck you dry. I haven't studied this portion yet but I'd be willing to bet that this has been toyed with enough to create a way to safely put your passions in your life.

Again, as you said, this notion of following your passion isn't some new-aged perspective. It's been talked about for as long as mankind has been recording itself. The Law of Attraction talks about it and so on and so forth. However, it is quickly becoming a perspective that people are skimming over and labeling as BS.

-Richard
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Richard,

That's my name too, although I have never gone by it.

I think you are wrong about the selfishness... or... you're not expressing what you mean well enough to be generally understood.

Richard, you, 20. Richard, me, 62, with a 25 year old son doing some like thinking as you. His 'passion' has changed several times.

The human brain is not fully developed until about the age of 26.

Most of us at one time had a dream. All Dreams are not made to come true. That does not make the dream any the less for not coming true. It's the ability to even dream that is amazing.

If you asked me today, WHAT am I? I'd answer a football player because that is were is my 'heart' is. Like I said, this 'Life' is a strange animal full of twists & turns, sort of like a snake.

There's a line from the Steve McQueen Movie, Lemans. He's a race car driver sort of falling in Love with the wife of a driver who died racing the year before. Anyway, He says to her, "Racing IS Living... everything else is just waiting to Live Again.".

You really have not Lived until you have sacrificed a part of yourself for another. That's True Love & True Heart & True Passion.

Just some food for thought.

Best Wishes 2 You & May You Find True Happiness,
Rick
 
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ENGLISH! said:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Richard,

That's my name too, although I have never gone by it.

I think you are wrong about the selfishness... or... you're not expressing what you mean well enough to be generally understood.

Richard, you, 20. Richard, me, 62, with a 25 year old son doing some like thinking as you. His 'passion' has changed several times.

The human brain is not fully developed until about the age of 26.

Most of us at one time had a dream. All Dreams are not made to come true. That does not make the dream any the less for not coming true. It's the ability to even dream that is amazing.

If you asked me today, WHAT am I? I'd answer a football player because that is were is my 'heart' is. Like I said, this 'Life' is a strange animal full of twists & turns, sort of like a snake.

There's a line from the Steve McQueen Movie, Lemans. He's a race car driver sort of falling in Love with the wife of a driver who died racing the year before. Anyway, He says to her, "Racing IS Living... everything else is just waiting to Live Again.".

You really have not Lived until you have sacrificed a part of yourself for another. That's True Love & True Heart & True Passion.

Just some food for thought.

Best Wishes 2 You & May You Find True Happiness,
Rick
Click to expand...

Yeah. I didn't communicate the part about selfishness properly. I don't mean selfishness to mean acting without the regard of others, and acting solely for personal gain. I mean selfish to describe something that is wholly "you" at your essence.

Also true that your dreams change multiple times and who I am today isn't necessarily who I will be in 5 years. I learned this back when I had a mentor in the social arts. But, your WHY is the driving force in your life and it doesn't change because it's ingrained deep in your earliest memories. When you have a career that is based on that driving force it tends to not change too much.

The problem is too many people don't understand (especially people my age) what compels them to do anything. I know at least 30 friends who are in school to be nurses simply because "that's where the money is at" and they are bound to change their majors.

However, I honestly think I'm a rare case (at my age) and I know what direction I want my life to head in and for the proper reasons. You haven't brought up anything I haven't already been told or had brought to my attention but it is always nice to hear different perspectives and your words are not taken lightly buddy.

As for sacrificing a part of myself for another - I've done that once and it almost destroyed me. Resulted in me falling into near suicidal depression. I can say that I'm afraid to do it again, or rather I'm cautious as you can naturally understand.

-Richard
 
Zphix said:
Yeah. I didn't communicate the part about selfishness properly. I don't mean selfishness to mean acting without the regard of others, and acting solely for personal gain. I mean selfish to describe something that is wholly "you" at your essence.

Also true that your dreams change multiple times and who I am today isn't necessarily who I will be in 5 years. I learned this back when I had a mentor in the social arts. But, your WHY is the driving force in your life and it doesn't change because it's ingrained deep in your earliest memories. When you have a career that is based on that driving force it tends to not change too much.

The problem is too many people don't understand (especially people my age) what compels them to do anything. I know at least 30 friends who are in school to be nurses simply because "that's where the money is at" and they are bound to change their majors.

However, I honestly think I'm a rare case (at my age) and I know what direction I want my life to head in and for the proper reasons. You haven't brought up anything I haven't already been told or had brought to my attention but it is always nice to hear different perspectives and your words are not taken lightly buddy.

As for sacrificing a part of myself for another - I've done that once and it almost destroyed me. Resulted in me falling into near suicidal depression. I can say that I'm afraid to do it again, or rather I'm cautious as you can naturally understand.

-Richard
Click to expand...

I had my heart broken when I was 20 & I was a functioning 'drunk' for a year.

I was sort of coming out of the funk on my own when I went with a friend of mine to a ball game for HIM to meet a 'girl'.

I met there, the young woman that would pull me completely out of the funk & who would become my wife of now 34 years with SEVEN together before getting married.

When asked to say what was my intended's most endearing quality or trait, my answer was that She Has the Heart of a Child.

The person asking said that in all his time, what I said was the best he had ever heard.

Just a bit of food for thought. Keep Thinking & Keep Feeling!

Best Wishes 2 Ya.
 
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BRussell said:
You know who else had heart/passion?

HITLER.
Click to expand...

And look at what he accomplished before dying. You can't deny that he completely succeeded in making his vision a reality; it just turns out his vision was nothing short of pure evil.

Objectively speaking he's a good example of measuring how far your passion can take you. Realistically speaking he's evil and I'm glad he's dead.
 
Zphix said:
And look at what he accomplished before dying. You can't deny that he completely succeeded in making his vision a reality; it just turns out his vision was nothing short of pure evil.

Objectively speaking he's a good example of measuring how far your passion can take you. Realistically speaking he's evil and I'm glad he's dead.
Click to expand...

But, if you could go back in time, would you kill baby Hitler?
 
ScottK said:
But, if you could go back in time, would you kill baby Hitler?
Click to expand...

Nope, I'd help him get into that art school ;)

Realistically, no, I wouldn't kill him. There would be no need to because he wasn't born evil. The damage that caused him to become a dictator could be undone before he had his rise to power.
 
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A very needed post!

Zphix said:
Going in, I have no idea how long this post could get. But, a lot of people are misinterpreting my use of heart/passion for the dictionary definition of these words. Things happen early on in your life that shape the direction your life takes - you learn lessons and make decisions long before you're even aware that you're making them.

As you age, your childhood innocence (read heart/passion) is replaced by logical thinking and a culture telling you that you need college to get a degree, and you need a degree to get a good job, and you need a good job to get a wife and kids and a nice house and that's the dream. Culture is selling you a dream and most people blindly follow it. I don't follow it.

When I was younger, I used to view my dad as a hero. Around 3 I started to notice his tendency to complain about time and money, etc. and I found myself missing out on my connections with him and so at a very young age I made the decision to not be like him. This is my WHY. This is where the core of who I am can be found. I enjoy teaching/coaching/and forming connections because I know what it's like to not have them. But, I wasn't old enough to commit these decisions to conscious memory so this became a program operating behind the scenes.

From there, as I got older I found myself drawn to helping people, and in high school I found myself drawn to psychology and therapy. Then I met my mentor (in London) and I was introduced to life coaching - Anthony Robbins at first, and then into the more spiritual (don't mistake this for religious) side of humanity. Through all my reading, studying, and searching in the field of life coaching I found common themes:

1) Your heart won't steer you wrong if you choose to listen to it. Children naturally do this.

2) Your passion generates the life your heart wants - the life that is most natural to you. Not the life you logically want. A good example would be Scott Lee - he travels around and teaches pool. He's immensely satisfied with his career choice and I bet many people would have told him that he's nuts for wanting to do that. But, his passion created the life he wanted naturally.

3) There are definite patterns and loops that people naturally fall into. Patterns and loops that I've been shown long before I'm ever exposed to them.

I live to change lives and inspire people. I was very much a person who couldn't believe in anything except what science has proven or can prove (like psychology) but along the way I decided to put my beliefs into something psychology can't prove. I no longer help people through scientific means but instead by spiritual ones which I now consider to be stronger than psychology.

The human brain is a vast and fun place when you know how to navigate, and now I view the naysayers as deprived souls who lost their passion along the way. They don't acknowledge anything is wrong and so can't reach their full potential. I have an amazing coach teaching me and I absolutely refuse to be anything less than what my full potential is in pool, martial arts, and life coaching.

I'm sure some people will relate to this, and I'm sure some will attempt to attack it. I just felt the need to write this.
Click to expand...

Pool story-
I remember sitting next to a champion player at dinner and into his 2nd drink, he turns and looks at me and says
"So you think you're gonna help pool, huh? I've been playing this game for 30 years, and you're not going to make a lick of difference."

I do not know what constitutes "making a difference" and exactly to what depth and breadth.

For some, money is the only viable means of measuring where one stacks up in the hierarchy.

For me, it's the message of your letter.

Well said Zphix!

-CP
 
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