How do you get over being a coward?

W

wayne

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I have my limitations when playing and they are a little more limiting than they should be. I see players who have no fear of betting it way up if they consider they are even the slightest favorite. I know this can work against them a lot of the time but sometimes it pays off very big time.
An average poolplayer friend used to bet in the thousands and I saw him bet as much as $2000 in a single game of 9 ball. He doesnt play pool much anymore because he became a card player. This week he finished 3rd in a tournament in Vegas and won $210,000 (on ESPN in a couple of months) then yesterday he wins a tournament at the Bicycle club for $148,000. There is no way he does this well if he doesn't have that willingness to bet it up. It seems a lot of the poolplayers who were willing to bet it up are playing cards.
Now the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat tend to change drastically based on what is staked and most everyone has their limitations but I notice this cowardliness setting in sometimes in situations where it shouldn't for example I am down against a person I should be able to beat and I should double the bet but I don't, or someone wants to bet big in a game I should be able to win but the big amount scares me off. Sometimes I just force myself to go ahead but other times I do nothing or I back out of games I should be in. I know I am more afraid in certain situations than I should be and I wonder how others overcome this???

Wayne
 
Wayne you are not a coward..coward implies that you did something terribly and let others down...you have an inner self that is telling you that you are Not comfortable to gamble big and take risks..i too feel that way..i have worked too hard to loose my money..in my life i have seen some big time gambling ..people that have lost their homes,their business,cars ect...i like to watch big time like anyone else..i just don't like to be personally involved..don't ever call yourself a coward again... enjoy your pool..:D
 
instead of thinking about your friend, who is successful FOR NOW,,,,think about all the others who carry their life saving in their pocket.
 
bruin70 said:
instead of thinking about your friend, who is successful FOR NOW,,,,think about all the others who carry their life saving in their pocket.
Click to expand...

perfect answer not being a big risk taker is not the same as being a coward

and gambling with the rent/grocery/diaper/ect money is being an IDIOT

even if the odds are in your favor
 
supermex

wayne said:
I have my limitations when playing and they are a little more limiting than they should be. I see players who have no fear of betting it way up if they consider they are even the slightest favorite. I know this can work against them a lot of the time but sometimes it pays off very big time.
An average poolplayer friend used to bet in the thousands and I saw him bet as much as $2000 in a single game of 9 ball. He doesnt play pool much anymore because he became a card player. This week he finished 3rd in a tournament in Vegas and won $210,000 (on ESPN in a couple of months) then yesterday he wins a tournament at the Bicycle club for $148,000. There is no way he does this well if he doesn't have that willingness to bet it up. It seems a lot of the poolplayers who were willing to bet it up are playing cards.
Now the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat tend to change drastically based on what is staked and most everyone has their limitations but I notice this cowardliness setting in sometimes in situations where it shouldn't for example I am down against a person I should be able to beat and I should double the bet but I don't, or someone wants to bet big in a game I should be able to win but the big amount scares me off. Sometimes I just force myself to go ahead but other times I do nothing or I back out of games I should be in. I know I am more afraid in certain situations than I should be and I wonder how others overcome this???

Wayne
Click to expand...

my response iwould be gamble what YOU feel comfortable with, something that doesn't compromise your life & lifestyle.....i've been around long enough to see big gambling pool players who pretty much live on their memories
 
wayne said:
I have my limitations when playing and they are a little more limiting than they should be. I see players who have no fear of betting it way up if they consider they are even the slightest favorite. I know this can work against them a lot of the time but sometimes it pays off very big time.
An average poolplayer friend used to bet in the thousands and I saw him bet as much as $2000 in a single game of 9 ball. He doesnt play pool much anymore because he became a card player. This week he finished 3rd in a tournament in Vegas and won $210,000 (on ESPN in a couple of months) then yesterday he wins a tournament at the Bicycle club for $148,000. There is no way he does this well if he doesn't have that willingness to bet it up. It seems a lot of the poolplayers who were willing to bet it up are playing cards.
Now the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat tend to change drastically based on what is staked and most everyone has their limitations but I notice this cowardliness setting in sometimes in situations where it shouldn't for example I am down against a person I should be able to beat and I should double the bet but I don't, or someone wants to bet big in a game I should be able to win but the big amount scares me off. Sometimes I just force myself to go ahead but other times I do nothing or I back out of games I should be in. I know I am more afraid in certain situations than I should be and I wonder how others overcome this???

Wayne
Click to expand...



I would say, only bet what you can afford to lose. Just like when you go to Vegas, only bet what you can afford to lose. If things do not go your way, you can look at it as entertainment.

If you bet what you CANNOT afford to lose............then it is gambling :eek:
 
wayne said:
I notice this cowardliness setting in sometimes in situations where it shouldn't for example I am down against a person I should be able to beat and I should double the bet but I don't, or someone wants to bet big in a game I should be able to win but the big amount scares me off.
Wayne
Click to expand...


Wayne...is it cowardliness setting in or your sanity? How about the responsibility of being a family man? How about the fact that you don't have more money than you know what to do with yet?

You didn't take this game up until late in life and got where you did through working hard and making sound business decisions. Had you taken pool up very early when fearlessness and stupidity reigned, as in many of our cases, you would have bet it up big and learned that you could make a big score, or been broke by a couple of rolls of the ball. You can get by and learn to live with "broke" when you're young, it's ALL a game. Doesn't work that way when you get older. Even if you had the heart to piss it away, it's not quite the same after all the work you put into each thousand bucks.

If you want to test the waters, work a little harder and earmark 5-10 grand or so to possible gambling losses and set it aside, come what may. When you have it, then don't jerk around...let it fly and see how you react. You'll either want more, or just stick to tournaments. Just be happy either way...
 
Maybe this will help...

Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - 3/28/05 - "Risk Taking"

What is it that enables some folks to take big-time risks without becoming a
nervous wreck? Taking risks in life isn't easy, because there is always the
possibility of loss involved. However, it doesn't have to be a white-knuckle
experience, either. So how can you take the anxiety out of risk-taking?

Well, first of all, don't take foolish risks. Take risks only when you
believe that what you are going for will be better than what you already
have, and you won't want to risk anything you can't afford to lose.

Second, remind yourself that risk-taking is involved in everything
worthwhile in life. Without taking risks, you can't find true love, develop
personal power, gain the respect of others or raise healthy, happy kids, for
that matter.

Third, don't worry too much about the outcome. Instead, spend time imagining
exactly how it will look and feel if things go just as you want them to. In
other words, stay focused on what you have to gain, not what you have to
lose.

Our experience in life is largely determined by where we choose to focus our
attention. If you think loss, talk loss, see loss day after day, it is far
more likely that you will end up a loser. On the other hand, if your purpose
is worthy, your commitment strong, and your thoughts focused on a positive
end-result, you will behave like a winner.

And whether or not any given risk pays off in the long run, if you behave
like a winner you will be a winner in the only game that counts - the game
of being the best you that you can be.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
www.thepacificinstitute.com
"TPI teaches people how to manage change, set and achieve goals, lead more
effectively, and think in ways that create success."

Jeff Livingston
 
Thanks for the responses. The problem is staying too much in the comfort zone. I am not a big risk taker and I can always afford what I play for but I know it is necessary to step up sometimes in order to improve but in comes this fear that shouldn't be there. For example, this guy wants to set up this match of 9 ball for a $1000 which I am agreeable to but after agreeing then I start wanting to back off from it, I know it is a bit out of my comfort zone and the opponent is being backed so there is no big risk for him. I would like to have a mind set where there was no fear in this situation and I know if I do it that it will be beneficial to me but the comfort zone says not to do it. The way I have gotten better is pushing through barriers like this and it will probably take place but I really don't like having this cowardly feeling about it.
I want to have more heart so I can step up my game so I know I need to overcome this. I am just trying to figure out how I can best do this????

Wayne
 
drivermaker said:
Wayne...is it cowardliness setting in or your sanity? How about the responsibility of being a family man? How about the fact that you don't have more money than you know what to do with yet?

You didn't take this game up until late in life and got where you did through working hard and making sound business decisions. Had you taken pool up very early when fearlessness and stupidity reigned, as in many of our cases, you would have bet it up big and learned that you could make a big score, or been broke by a couple of rolls of the ball. You can get by and learn to live with "broke" when you're young, it's ALL a game. Doesn't work that way when you get older. Even if you had the heart to piss it away, it's not quite the same after all the work you put into each thousand bucks.

If you want to test the waters, work a little harder and earmark 5-10 grand or so to possible gambling losses and set it aside, come what may. When you have it, then don't jerk around...let it fly and see how you react. You'll either want more, or just stick to tournaments. Just be happy either way...
Click to expand...

How about this:
You don't have the money and responsibilities (conscience) eats you up too much to play it.

....then ...

You have 'plenty' of money - rich actually, and because of this- you DON'T CARE enough and don't put your true efforst in to win the match!

Ha! - I've had both shoes on - LOL

I play 10/20 race to 7 matches 3 to 4 times a week against my friend (yup - friend ..and we both "love" that $ meaning to the game). Currently I'm DOWN a couple of hundred. I can afford it - we're not starving or anything :), but the $ really should bring out the MOTIVATION/DRIVE to win when you're not rich (used to be rich ..no longer - lol).

What did that guy say? "Me? If I loose 80,000 , I just go get another 80,000".
 
drivermaker said:
"Wayne...is it cowardliness setting in or your sanity?"
Answer: It is cowardliness, I see it all the time in the poolhall and I don't have as big a dose of it as a lot of others but it exists for me and is not a comfortable feeling.

"If you want to test the waters, work a little harder and earmark 5-10 grand or so to possible gambling losses and set it aside, come what may. When you have it, then don't jerk around...let it fly and see how you react."
Click to expand...
Response: I like that and I think this is what I will do.

Wayne
 
Wayne, I have to first say that even if you have been playing pool for twenty years, Gremlin's option is no good, and I think it was in poor taste for him to answer your post in the manner he did.

There is an old saying that a gambler's money has no home, and just because your friend won a bunch of money doesn't mean he will keep it. Also, one way (maybe) to become more comfortable with gambling is to put your self in that position more often. I think the poster you talked about concentrating on the positive possiblities of winning was onto something. You also might want to look at a book called the Pleasure of Small Motions, which you can buy on accu-stats.

kollegedave


Gremlin said:
Wayne,

How long have you been playing? If you have been playing more than 20 years
may I suggest Seppuku as it's an old and honorable way to take care of being a coward.
Click to expand...
 
Wanna play some? :D

All kidding aside, fear knocked at the door....faith answered.....and no one was there.
 
If you can't lose the money don't even bother....However if you have a decent game and the cash jump in...Start with someone you can beat and work up the nerve and the bankroll to play better people...I don't play that much right now but I always had fish...I would try to build off of or to fall back on if I lost....I always found that if I was on a roll confidence builds and your game jumps up a notch, stroke smooths out, good speed, nerves are less...

Playing for fun won't accomplish the same gains and confidence


The other thing if you make a score buy some stuff with it...Don't give it all back to someone else....Oh yeah start out small 1K sets of the bat will likely ruin your confidence.... :D
 
Last edited:
I cut my teeth by beating players worse than me in one pool room and delivering the money to those better than me at another. Never intended to keep the money.

I'd take the winnings to the other room. I would assume I'd already lost and was going to give them the entire amount. My goal was to make sure I got no less than 4 hours playing time with a good player. So, I'd get him to play as cheap as possible with a spot that I could get some good sparring time. I was pissed when I ran out of money after an hour and a half. I was thrilled when I took some of the money home with me after 4 or 5 hours of competition.

The players I played started out giving me the 6.....then the 7....then the 8....finallly I beat almost everyone on the list..........and they didn't/don't like it.
 
Last edited:
The Kiss said:
If you can't lose the money don't even bother....However if you have a decent game and the cash jump in...Start with someone you can beat and work up the nerve and the bankroll to play better people...I don't play that much right now but I always had fish...I would try to build off of or to fall back on if I lost....I always found that if I was on a roll confidence builds and your game jumps up a notch, stroke smooths out, good speed, nerves are less...

Playing for fun won't accomplish the same gains and confidence


The other thing if you make a score buy some stuff with it...Don't give it all back to someone else....Oh yeah start out small 1K sets of the bat will likely ruin your confidence.... :D
Click to expand...

I am not just starting out. I have played for up to $500 a set and I have played one-pocket for $200 a game but usually I am only comfortable for $100 a game. I never play for fun because it is no fun for me to play for fun (that was a mouthful). The problem I have is certain situations where I should be willing to bet it up but this unreasonable fear sets in and I back off. I have found playing through it has made me a stronger player and less likely to fold under pressure but I know I need to improve upon it and I know if it didn't exist at all I would be a lot better.

Wayne
 
Teacherman said:
I cut my teeth by beating players worse than me in one pool room and delivering the money to those better than me at another. Never intended to keep the money.

I'd take the winnings to the other room. I would assume I'd already lost and was going to give them the entire amount. My goal was to make sure I got no less than 4 hours playing time with a good player. So, I'd get him to play as cheap as possible with a spot that I could get some good sparring time. I was pissed when I ran out of money after an hour and a half. I was thrilled when I took some of the money home with me after 4 or 5 hours of competition.

The players I played started out giving me the 6.....then the 7....then the 8....finallly I beat almost everyone on the list..........and they didn't/don't like it.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that is good for the experience. I do something similar but I don't give back as much as I make. When Santos is in town or when Tang wants to play I get into cheap games of one-pocket with them because they won't spot me anything. I don't figure to win so my objective is to lose as little as possible or break even although there have been occasions where I actually finished up a game or two.

Wayne
 
wayne said:
I am not just starting out. I have played for up to $500 a set and I have played one-pocket for $200 a game but usually I am only comfortable for $100 a game. I never play for fun because it is no fun for me to play for fun (that was a mouthful). The problem I have is certain situations where I should be willing to bet it up but this unreasonable fear sets in and I back off. I have found playing through it has made me a stronger player and less likely to fold under pressure but I know I need to improve upon it and I know if it didn't exist at all I would be a lot better.

Wayne
Click to expand...

"YOU SAY " that you are backing away from a pressure match you feel you should win . because the stakes are above your comfort level
am I correct

If it is a match up you really "SHOULD BE" playing see if a backer wants
1/2 your action

this may give you the combination of security and pressure to climb another rung up the ladder
 
k-carson said:
"YOU SAY " that you are backing away from a pressure match you feel you should win . because the stakes are above your comfort level
am I correct

If it is a match up you really "SHOULD BE" playing see if a backer wants
1/2 your action

this may give you the combination of security and pressure to climb another rung up the ladder
Click to expand...

Another good idea which I have used in the past and may use again which I forgot about. Thanks.

Wayne
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top