I never do this, but these gems are too clever & precious not to share with my pool buddies

arnaldo

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Hope these will brighten more than a few of your days:
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The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

"The starting pay is $40,000. Later it can go up to $80,000. " Great. I'll start later."

Tip: Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write, "Sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield

When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

Just once, I want the username and password prompt to say, "Close enough."

"Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo".

I envy people who grow old gracefully. They age like a fine wine. I'm-aging like milk: Getting sour and chunky.

Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?

I hate it when I can't figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He's 5 and it's past his bedtime.

Today's 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.

Tip for a successful marriage: Don't ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she's mowing the lawn.


Arnaldo
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arnaldo

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Hope these will brighten more than a few of your days:
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

"The starting pay is $40,000. Later it can go up to $80,000. " Great. I'll start later."

Tip: Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write, "Sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield


When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

Just once, I want the username and password prompt to say, "Close enough."

"Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo".

I envy people who grow old gracefully. They age like a fine wine. I'm-aging like milk: Getting sour and chunky.

Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?

I hate it when I can't figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He's 5 and it's past his bedtime.

Today's 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.

Tip for a successful marriage: Don't ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she's mowing the lawn.


Arnaldo
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Glad y'all like and love them. Share-away to your heart's content.
And -- one hopes . . . as I did -- all the recipients will mistakenly assume that the sender (who lifted them from elsewhere) is also clever.

Arnaldo
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