If you are playing 8 ball and you crop dust your opponent...

ChrisBanks said:
I don't mind sharing a laugh at my expense, but I have also been asked to leave the forums. But if one were to print out all of my posts, you would see that they are all pool related.
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Maniac said:
OU,

If the "crop-dusting" causes the movement of any balls (the ones on the table :embarrassed2:), then yes, a foul must be called. If the "crop-dusting" leaves the air permeated with a disgusting, eye-tearing, putrid smell, then that is simply foul (as in foul-odor).

Personally, at my age, I cannot afford to even attempt to pass gas during a pool match. I hate trying to shoot pool with that mushy, squishy feeling between my buttcheeks. I have considered going to a man-pon, but none of the men's restrooms at any of the places I shoot out of has a dispenser on the wall (discrimination lawsuit???). Therefore I will continue to play squeezing my sphincter muscles together as tightly as I possibly can at the first hint of flatuence. If you ever run into me at a tournament someday, I'll be the guy in the chair with the blue face (or red depending on how successful my squeezing was)!!!

Maniac (I know, I know, TMI)
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Thanks for the laugh. Like you, I can't afford to try it at my age either. At the first hint I make it to the mens room. Usually when you think it's going to be a dry one, you end up getting some gravy. Best to be seated on seat with a hole in it when that happens.
 
There are three primary systems. The one best-known by beginners is the Legume System which based on products readily available at BBQ restaurants and taco stands. This technique can be taken only so far and suffers from several unintended consequences, not the least of which is obesity. In one of the most inexplicable news stories of the year, the BBC has embarrassed itself with this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4943486.stm that's the equivalent of "friction-free chalk invented."

The second major system is Cruciferous System, which is best implemented through salad bars. This method gives far more nuanced results depending on whether cabbage or broccoli, cooked or raw is employed. Asian practitioners use bok choy generally with devastating results. Snooker players in the UK have attempted to use water cress with no better than middling effectiveness. This system is, despite its drawbacks, the one with widest international reputation.

The third system, known only to a few top pros until Eight Ball Bernie produced his YouTube video (and the companion pay-per-view download on very aggressive safety "shots" at bar-box eight ball) is the Dense Lipid System that is usually implemented at steak houses and the BBQ restaurants mentioned above. A major problem with this system is the extreme aggression sometimes induced in adherents that has been traced to the hormones in the meat. This can be avoided by eating only the fat portion. If your opponent keeps "getting in your face" this is likely the source of the problem, and they should seek training from an advanced-level certified instructor.

Do not mix your systems. We all remember when Earl, during the 2007 Mosconi Cup, took a dinner break at Tony Roma's and had the double slab of baby back ribs with beans and cole slaw. We can only be thankful that there were no deaths in the audience.
 
Ministry of...

I've been studying the advanced technique of l'odeur de soufre et oeufs.

With backing I think I can really develop it.
 
If i like my opponent i'll warn him/her. If they're a ***** i won't hesitate to use biological warfare. I'm gonna be lauhgin' all day.
 
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