Just thinking...

pwd72s

pwd72s

recreational banger
Silver Member
I have an "honorary nephew" of sorts. This guy is now past 25, but I knew him even before he was born. His deceased father and I (I'm now 63) were best buddies since our late teens. We backpacked, hunted, fished, saw each other get married...we were very tight buddies, until my buddy died in an industrial accident, when this "nephew" was about 4 or 5.

This honorary nephew is, frankly, a bit of a flake. But he shoots lights out pool at the amateur level. Some here may know Glenn Atwell...this kid caught Glenn sleeping and bumped Glenn from a local tourney a few years back. He's definitely "A" grade, works hard at the game, even to the point of working out to strengthen muscles for a long tournament game. He dreams of turning pro. No booze or drugs, his bad habit seems to be gambling...he loves poker, also loses money to bookies. He hasn't figured out that gambling is a business, and unless you are an executive in that business, you're better off staying away.

I've watched him go 126 when practicing 14-1.

In other words, he's good...but I'm wondering if he has what it takes to step up to pro? Frankly, this isn't a career I'd wish on anyone, but some do aspire...

So, I've been thinking of making him an "offer you can't refuse"...in a way, to let him decide if his dedication to pool is worth it to him, or perhaps he should use his bright mind towards other things.

My thought...pay his way into a tourney like now going on at Hard Times. I mean entry fee, pay for a couple of rooms, be his chauffeur down & back.

I'd fully expect him to be bumped fairly early with names like Bustamante signed up, but the experience and the lessons learned could be invaluable... OR

it could crush him!

Oh...I'm not looking for a cut here. I have enough money to live my chosen lifestyle for the rest of my life.

I'm just wondering if I'd be doing him, and his deceased father, a favor or not if I did this.

This, I dunno.

So, you tell me...is this a good offer to make, or would it be best for all concerned if I just keep my effing nose out of this kid's affairs?

I'd try to make this a poll...but my computer skills are worse than "banger"...:)
 
Only thing I would suggest is he gain experience in compettion one step at a time. You don't say in your post, he may be ready for the competition you are talking about. I think a slow, planned stepping up the ladder is best, just like a racehorse. Congrats on your wanting to help this young man, and good luck to you both. He sounds like quite a player already.
 
pwd72s said:
I have an "honorary nephew" of sorts. This guy is now past 25, but I knew him even before he was born. His deceased father and I (I'm now 63) were best buddies since our late teens. We backpacked, hunted, fished, saw each other get married...we were very tight buddies, until my buddy died in an industrial accident, when this "nephew" was about 4 or 5.

This honorary nephew is, frankly, a bit of a flake. But he shoots lights out pool at the amateur level. Some here may know Glenn Atwell...this kid caught Glenn sleeping and bumped Glenn from a local tourney a few years back. He's definitely "A" grade, works hard at the game, even to the point of working out to strengthen muscles for a long tournament game. He dreams of turning pro. No booze or drugs, his bad habit seems to be gambling...he loves poker, also loses money to bookies. He hasn't figured out that gambling is a business, and unless you are an executive in that business, you're better off staying away.

I've watched him go 126 when practicing 14-1.

In other words, he's good...but I'm wondering if he has what it takes to step up to pro? Frankly, this isn't a career I'd wish on anyone, but some do aspire...

So, I've been thinking of making him an "offer you can't refuse"...in a way, to let him decide if his dedication to pool is worth it to him, or perhaps he should use his bright mind towards other things.

My thought...pay his way into a tourney like now going on at Hard Times. I mean entry fee, pay for a couple of rooms, be his chauffeur down & back.

I'd fully expect him to be bumped fairly early with names like Bustamante signed up, but the experience and the lessons learned could be invaluable... OR

it could crush him!

Oh...I'm not looking for a cut here. I have enough money to live my chosen lifestyle for the rest of my life.

I'm just wondering if I'd be doing him, and his deceased father, a favor or not if I did this.

This, I dunno.

So, you tell me...is this a good offer to make, or would it be best for all concerned if I just keep my effing nose out of this kid's affairs?

I'd try to make this a poll...but my computer skills are worse than "banger"...:)
Click to expand...

Probably not. To have any real success as a pro player, he would have to be highly motivated to play Pool, to the exclusion of other forms of gambling. He would really have to "want" the success of being a winning player. To go at it half heartedly, he has no chance. There are many regional events in your area. Why isn't he competing in them on a regular basis. Too busy with Poker?

It sounds like he has a lot of ability at Pool, but little desire to make it his real job. Being a top level pro takes lots of dedication. Just ask Glenn. With a weakness like being a losing poker player and sports gambler, he is at a decided disadvantage. He may play quite well, but until he gets his head together, he'll never win anything at the professional level. Right now, he is merely a dreamer with no true focus.

If I were you, I wouldn't say a word until the day comes when he says to you that he wants to be the best pool player in the world. Then you can offer to support that decision. Until he is so motivated, you will be fighting a losing (and costly) battle. Sorry to be delivering the bad news.
 
Jay? Thank you! You just gave me insight to the game I really never had before.
 
jay helfert said:
Probably not. To have any real success as a pro player, he would have to be highly motivated to play Pool, to the exclusion of other forms of gambling. He would really have to "want" the success of being a winning player. To go at it half heartedly, he has no chance. There are many regional events in your area. Why isn't he competing in them on a regular basis. Too busy with Poker?

It sounds like he has a lot of ability at Pool, but little desire to make it his real job. Being a top level pro takes lots of dedication. Just ask Glenn. With a weakness like being a losing poker player and sports gambler, he is at a decided disadvantage. He may play quite well, but until he gets his head together, he'll never win anything at the professional level. Right now, he is merely a dreamer with no true focus.

If I were you, I wouldn't say a word until the day comes when he says to you that he wants to be the best pool player in the world. Then you can offer to support that decision. Until he is so motivated, you will be fighting a losing (and costly) battle. Sorry to be delivering the bad news.
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You know... If he went to that tournament, saw all the amazing players, and got beaten by them, it might inspire him to really focus on his game so someday he may be like them. I have been crushed by very good players, but it did not crush my spirt, it made me motivated as hell. I practiced my butt off every day vowing never to let that happen again.

I think this could go either way, maybe if he saw the action that transpires at these tournaments he would want to be a part of that. Or maybe thats not what he is into. Ask him if he would want to be a part of this, if he says yes, then tell him there is no "floating" he must practice like a pro to beat a pro. Just talk to him, Im sure he would want to do something like that. From what your telling me he has got the right background to be one of the best. You dont ever want to look back and say, "what if?"

My personal opinion is..... go for it, it will be good for him.

Good luck
 
Well, now I have both sides...what I've been thinking about as I fall alseep. I know, personallly, that I feel good whenever I beat a young guy in a casual bar box game. But this "honorary nephew"? He could be really good. Not just really good. I think maybe great, if he were really willing to put the work in. Or not if he wasn't... Truth...it's all about dedication, on his part. That's what I can't figure out... His dad really was my "best buddy". His dad had the best hand/eye coordnation of anyone I've ever known. Pool was never his dad's game, though. I've been feeling a tremendous loss since he's been been gone. NOBODY, I mean, even my wife of 31 years, or his wife, has the knowledge of secrets and feelings that he & I shared from our late teens on...
 
pwd72s I think your heart is in the right place and if I were you I would approach it the following way.

Mention to him how you think he has a lot of ability and you'd like to see how he stacks up at a bigger tournament. Tell him you'd like to take a trip to something like the Hardtime Jamboree and that you'd put him in the tournament and pay the expenses. See what his reaction is playing/seeing some of the better players. Ask him a few questions and try to find out if his heart is in the game and to what level he wants to be.
 
I don't see why you would want to wish him to pursue pro pool. There's a lot of losses between those wins, those wins don't pay so good.

You already said he has a propensity toward the gamble. He'll be around gambling all the time and, judging by ther fact that he plays the bookies, he'll be making some questionable bets for sure...maybe he should be a CPA?
 
Nice post!
DeadPoked said:
pwd72s I think your heart is in the right place and if I were you I would approach it the following way.

Mention to him how you think he has a lot of ability and you'd like to see how he stacks up at a bigger tournament. Tell him you'd like to take a trip to something like the Hardtime Jamboree and that you'd put him in the tournament and pay the expenses. See what his reaction is playing/seeing some of the better players. Ask him a few questions and try to find out if his heart is in the game and to what level he wants to be.
Click to expand...
 
I'd put him in the tournament but I would expect to see some things first. I would want to see him practice on a timed/scheduled basis until tourney time. Not just play but practice drills. If nothing else, this would show his commitment level. I'd also explain both the good and bad aspects of playing any sport for a living. However, if the guy is doing all of the right things I'd say sit back and enjoy the ride, you never know what it might lead to.
 
Nephew

1) People tend to never regret what they did, but what they didn't do.
2) If you wait on some people to 'get their head together', you could be waiting forever.
3) If you truly want to be a mentor of sorts to this kid, do the following:
A) Tell him you will 'sponsor' him for a period of time, say 6-8 months, not just one tournament.
B) Tell to sit down and write out some goals that he has for Pool and his playing. Tell him at the end of the time period, he and you will evaluate what goals were accomplished and which were not. Tell him to be realistic, and not just 'pie in the sky'.
C) Tell him you get to specify some conditions, like:
So many hours practice a week, training, not just playing. He has to work at his game, by himself, and can test his 'new' knowledge in competition along the way. Remind this kid that top professionals are highly discplined individuals who are highly motivated.

I would tell him that being smart doesn't always win, that preparation is half the battle for competition. (That goes for Poker too). Tell him if he wants to be a 'Pro', he has to earn it.

I am sympathetic to your plight, but merely possesssing talent is not enough in any enveador, you have to be motivated to the point where you discpline yourself enough to be able to attain your goals. Too many young people wander aimlessly through life with no real set goals, and even the ones that have goals, most do not evaluate what percentage of their goals that they attained.

You are going to have to 'teach' him to go places where he has never been before, and help instill the traits within him that will enable him to better his life, according to his plans for it. It is a daunting task, at best,
but can be very fulfilling if you are able to do it.

So ask him, "What do you want to do with your life", next have him write it down, next ask him, "how long do you need to accomplish each goal?", and have him write that beside each goal. Next, ask him how he will accomplish each goal?". You get the idea...
 
pwd72s said:
I have an "honorary nephew" of sorts. This guy is now past 25, but I knew him even before he was born. His deceased father and I (I'm now 63) were best buddies since our late teens. We backpacked, hunted, fished, saw each other get married...we were very tight buddies, until my buddy died in an industrial accident, when this "nephew" was about 4 or 5.

This honorary nephew is, frankly, a bit of a flake. But he shoots lights out pool at the amateur level. Some here may know Glenn Atwell...this kid caught Glenn sleeping and bumped Glenn from a local tourney a few years back. He's definitely "A" grade, works hard at the game, even to the point of working out to strengthen muscles for a long tournament game. He dreams of turning pro. No booze or drugs, his bad habit seems to be gambling...he loves poker, also loses money to bookies. He hasn't figured out that gambling is a business, and unless you are an executive in that business, you're better off staying away.

I've watched him go 126 when practicing 14-1.

In other words, he's good...but I'm wondering if he has what it takes to step up to pro? Frankly, this isn't a career I'd wish on anyone, but some do aspire...

So, I've been thinking of making him an "offer you can't refuse"...in a way, to let him decide if his dedication to pool is worth it to him, or perhaps he should use his bright mind towards other things.

My thought...pay his way into a tourney like now going on at Hard Times. I mean entry fee, pay for a couple of rooms, be his chauffeur down & back.

I'd fully expect him to be bumped fairly early with names like Bustamante signed up, but the experience and the lessons learned could be invaluable... OR

it could crush him!

Oh...I'm not looking for a cut here. I have enough money to live my chosen lifestyle for the rest of my life.

I'm just wondering if I'd be doing him, and his deceased father, a favor or not if I did this.

This, I dunno.

So, you tell me...is this a good offer to make, or would it be best for all concerned if I just keep my effing nose out of this kid's affairs?

QUOTE]



There are always at least two sides to a discussion. :-)

I suggest that you ask HN if he would like to play in a "big" tournament and if so, WHY?

The "Big" tournament could be an "awakening", that gets him off the track of becoming a professional pool player. There are far worse things than becoming a professional pool player but I would be more concerned about opening his mind to the negative aspects of being a professional pool player. If the hook is buried so deep into him that he wants to try and become a professional pool player, he is going to do it with you or without you.

By exposing him to the lifestyle of a professional pool player and the harsh economics of playing pool for a living, you may smarten him up so that he gets a better/good education, so he gets a better/good job--------------- so he can make lots of money, so he can buy lots of toys and maybe a pool table for his house where he can hone his skills in becoming a professional pool player. This is the way I would attempt to help my honorary nephew.

Like I said, if the hook is already buried so deep that he is hell bent on becoming a professional pool player, the sooner that he realizes the level of competition out there, the sooner he can get "serious" about improving and doing what it takes to compete at that level.
JoeyA
Click to expand...
 
Just another kind of "outside" thought in this respect:

STAN TOURANGEAU !!!

Unlike most of the Pros/Semi-Pros here in the PacNW, Stan's day job IS pool. Stan really likes Poker, too, but, fortunately for him, is somewhat successful at it. Pool is STILL his main thing.

Although Stan will get involved in action games from time-to-time, his deal is mainly road tournaments. Stan is ALWAYS on the road. He picks and chooses the tournaments he plays in, naturally the ones he is likely to win, or at least hit the money and is insured to get a fairly good payout. This is NOT to say that he picks small tournaments where he can rape the locals -- he is almost always in a tournament where most of the players are A's and much higher.

Everywhere he goes, Stan either takes a bus or train, or gets a ride from a friend. As successful as he is, he does NOT live an easy life -- as we all know, there is not much money in being a pool professional. Stan's entire life revolves around proper money management.

Stan is usually very quiet, reserved and somewhat aloof. But, he is also very kind (at least always has been to me), approachable, patient and helpful when asked. Although he is from Vancouver, BC, he plays in tournaments all over WA and OR, as well as all over western and central Canada and USA.

It seems to me that this is the person both you and your "nephew" should get to know if you want to get some real insight into your "situation."
 
The Best Advice

mailman said:
Just another kind of "outside" thought in this respect:

STAN TOURANGEAU !!!

Unlike most of the Pros/Semi-Pros here in the PacNW, Stan's day job IS pool. Stan really likes Poker, too, but, fortunately for him, is somewhat successful at it. Pool is STILL his main thing.

Although Stan will get involved in action games from time-to-time, his deal is mainly road tournaments. Stan is ALWAYS on the road. He picks and chooses the tournaments he plays in, naturally the ones he is likely to win, or at least hit the money and is insured to get a fairly good payout. This is NOT to say that he picks small tournaments where he can rape the locals -- he is almost always in a tournament where most of the players are A's and much higher.

Everywhere he goes, Stan either takes a bus or train, or gets a ride from a friend. As successful as he is, he does NOT live an easy life -- as we all know, there is not much money in being a pool professional. Stan's entire life revolves around proper money management.

Stan is usually very quiet, reserved and somewhat aloof. But, he is also very kind (at least always has been to me), approachable, patient and helpful when asked. Although he is from Vancouver, BC, he plays in tournaments all over WA and OR, as well as all over western and central Canada and USA.

It seems to me that this is the person both you and your "nephew" should get to know if you want to get some real insight into your "situation."
Click to expand...

Now that's what I'm talking about! Mike, this is a SUPER POST!
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This is THE BEST INFORMATION AND BEST ADVICE you could ever provide to your honorary nephew.

Stan sounds like a great guy although I have never personally met him. Imagine, I pool player who uses good common sense combined with money management. Someone who has been down this road, shares the green felt fever and still loves the game.

JoeyA
 
You enjoyed hunting with his dad. Why not go hunting with his son? Thats all pool comps are really. :cool:
 
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