If he's wrong then I am, too. Even your car engine has torque specs for each specific application. What torque spec do you assign to your cues? May I crank one of your cues so tightly that it tears itself apart? Or would just snugging it up suffice? If just snugging it up is fine, then apparently thread strength isn't all that critical, is it? Until you define what is tight enough and what is too tight, this conversation is pointless.
In my probably wrong opinion, once the two joint faces are secured, continuity is achieved. Tightening the cue any further will not enhance the hit or playability. It will only induce stress that if passes a certain threshold will destroy the cue. Just like with your car engine, once the head sufficiently compresses the gasket, continuity is achieved and it will operate optimally. Over tighten & you'll risk destroying the engine, with zero enhancement to performance. Point being, thread strength requirements are relative to application.
Sorry to say, but all of your information is incorrect. Per your head bolt analogy, you are EXTREMELY off base. The bolts in the head are actually properly tightened on modern cars to the point of stretching the threads (tightened until yield) and thereby ruining them for a second installation. They are throw-away items. This is done due to the cyclical forces and heat that these bolts are subject to. Tightening just to compression of the gasket will, in fact, cause those bolts to eventually back out, which will cause your car to blow an engine gasket.
The point of having clamping force on the faces of the joint is because the cue is subjected to cyclic loading in compression. This can lead to a cue that is 'barely tightened' to unscrew enough to put all of the forces into the threads of the joint. I've seen it many times.
Having a lot of friction on the bolt does not help this.