mr. Bond

Tramp Steamer said:
I went to visit my cousin the other day, and when I got there he was cleaning up his old Buick.
"Hey cousin", I ask. "Why are you cleaning the Buick?"
My cousin says. "I'm getting ready to sell it."
"How many miles are on it?"
"A little over 250,000."
"Damn!" I exclaim. "Nobody's going to want a car with that many miles on it. Why don't you roll back the odometer?"
"Good idea." He says.
In a couple of weeks I go back over my cousins house and I notice the old Buick is still in the driveway.
"Hey, I thought you were going to sell the Buick?"
"What?" He says. "And get rid of a car with only 15,000 miles on it?" :)
Click to expand...

Tramp,

Can't resist coming back to the thread. Some of the latest posts made my day. Thought humor was dead. Not by a long shot!

Lyn
 
There once was a man from....

Wait...aaw shit there's a gnat in my coffee.....brb
 
HawaiianEye said:
What do you call a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there is a "DOG"!
Click to expand...

Excellent! Try this one on for size.

I once had a girl friend who had lost an eye when she was a small child. Her family was very poor and couldn't afford to buy her a glass eye so her Father, a talented and resourceful man, carved one for her out of a piece of wood. It was quite remarkable and looked very real.
One night we were parked out in the woods, and after a very passionate make out session I summoned enough courage to ask if she would have sex with me.
She looked at me. Then pulled down an eyelid, and said. "Wood eye!" :smile:
 
Tramp Steamer said:
Excellent! Try this one on for size.

I once had a girl friend who had lost an eye when she was a small child. Her family was very poor and couldn't afford to buy her a glass eye so her Father, a talented and resourceful man, carved one for her out of a piece of wood. It was quite remarkable and looked very real.
One night we were parked out in the woods, and after a very passionate make out session I summoned enough courage to ask if she would have sex with me.
She looked at me. Then pulled down an eyelid, and said. "Wood eye!" :smile:
Click to expand...

Oh wow ...I know her. We dated a few times too.

That wooden eye would get to bothering her sometimes , so I said " why don't you just take it out if it bothers you?"

She said she wouldn't mind doing that but felt very self conscience about being seen that way, but I assured her that she would be just as beautiful without it. So she took it out.

It was indeed a little weird to see her without it, but I still mustered the courage to tell her how I loved her just as much, if not more without it.

The date went well so I asked if I could see her again some time.
She said " sure thing...I'll keep an eye out for ya...
 
Mr. Bond said:
Oh wow ...I know her. We dated a few times too.
That wooden eye would get to bothering her sometimes , so I said " why don't you just take it out if it bothers you?"
She said she wouldn't mind doing that but felt very self conscience about being seen that way, but I assured her that she would be just as beautiful without it. So she took it out.
It was indeed a little weird to see her without it, but I still mustered the courage to tell her how I loved her just as much, if not more without it.
The date went well so I asked if I could see her again some time.
She said " sure thing...I'll keep an eye out for ya...
Click to expand...

For your eyes only, eh Mr. Bond? :smile:
 
brian v said:
Put in 00.50 cents and try again ..

Do you have a fishing poll preferably a fly pole . Were catching trout .. now where do you catch trout ?
Here is a riddle , If you take a 10 'pole and a 4 ' pole what do you have ?
Click to expand...

Not sure, but I wouldn't touch anything with the ten foot pole.:wink:
 
cardiac kid said:
Someone please contact me when this thread has finally closed. Can't ignore the whole conversation. Perhaps I didn't do enough drugs in the 60's to understand!

Lyn
Click to expand...

sometimes when you do too much, it comes full-circle....
(and i haven't even caught-up yet!)
:eek:
 
Mr. Bond said:
Oh wow ...I know her. We dated a few times too.

That wooden eye would get to bothering her sometimes , so I said " why don't you just take it out if it bothers you?"

She said she wouldn't mind doing that but felt very self conscience about being seen that way, but I assured her that she would be just as beautiful without it. So she took it out.

It was indeed a little weird to see her without it, but I still mustered the courage to tell her how I loved her just as much, if not more without it.

The date went well so I asked if I could see her again some time.
She said " sure thing...I'll keep an eye out for ya...
Click to expand...


Ahhh
That's about all I could say about her , But her sister was nice she liked to do it on a hill .
 
ibuycues said:
"Hey Mr. Bond, are you for real or are you a figment of your own imagination?"

This is how you started this thread as the original poster of the thread.

.........Not a sad story, nor honoring anyone with how this thread has gone..:rolleyes:

..........Just keepin' it real (and accurate)...

Have a great day.

Will Prout
Click to expand...

Your not having fun ?
Well why not ?
I just bought a new
 
Last edited:
Tramp Steamer said:
Karma doesn't work that way. Par for the course is to draw even. No better, or no worse than a good player may play.
Karma has you either up, or down, in the count. Karma is always in flux.
Click to expand...


That's your Belief , Not Mine !
I drain swamps and Jump from perfectly good airplanes and fry tortoises for dinner .would ya like some ?

New puzzle .

If my title is first , but I am always last whom am I ..
 
dardusm said:
I want my 15 minutes of my life back......Actually, the some of the responses made it worth it. Carry on!
Click to expand...

Yes Sir .
Stand up hook up shuffle to the door .
I was flying across this country some time ago with my wife .
I asked the stewardess if there were any parachutes aboard for me .
The stewardess began to tell me how safe it is to fly in this day and age and all of this stuff about how well maintaned these planes are today thinking she had to console me of the necessity of a parachute ..

I had to reply ahh I just like to jump out of perfectly good airplanes !
 
brian v said:
Yes Sir .
Stand up hook up shuffle to the door .
I was flying across this country some time ago with my wife .
I asked the stewardess if there were any parachutes aboard for me .
The stewardess began to tell me how safe it is to fly in this day and age and all of this stuff about how well maintaned these planes are today thinking she had to console me of the necessity of a parachute ..

I had to reply ahh I just like to jump out of perfectly good airplanes !
Click to expand...

A good sig line....I like to jump out of perfectly good airplanes.

I like to break perfectly good nine-ball racks.....
....just showing my support for the second law of thermal dynamics.
 
pt109 said:
A good sig line....I like to jump out of perfectly good airplanes.

I like to break perfectly good nine-ball racks.....
....just showing my support for the second law of thermal dynamics.
Click to expand...

Those Balls must get really Hot Thermally speaking .
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top