Nice vs. Not So Nice - Where do you fall?

[Mr. Wilson]

When dealing with disputes, are you generally:
a. Passive
b. Aggressive

In general are you:
a. Liked
b. Disliked

In the lovely internet age, would you really believe me if I tried to convince everyone that I was really passive?

Nah, I doubt it.

Likewise, if I was trying to convince that I was a real ball-breaker, someone would say I'm trying to compensate for something and wasn't being genuine.

I'd rather leave the question to others. With time, they'll form their own opinions on what we're really like......and with any luck, they'll argue what a great guy/gal you really are when someone else slams you.

 

[Tbeaux]

Well, i guess it's all relative. although i think that to combine the 2, disputes and likability is tough. There needs to be more specifics.

What would be an example of passive/liked? How would that play out...your liked by the room, and you are passive in an argument?

Or is what your looking for something along the lines of avoiding the argument, so that the aggressor is getting even more irrate...and looking to the crowd, making fun of him with gestures, and them laughing about it.

See, unless you give specifics, it is hard to distinguish.

but, having said that, there are times where i am extremely polite, and there times, when i am a complete asshole. Depends on the situatioin, and the WHO involved.

Example. If i am gambling or in a tournament, and there is someone on the sidelines that is making too much noise,

- if they are novices, and don't know any better, odds are i will ask them politely if they can please be quiet.

- if they are NOT novices, and are making tons of noise, i will try and ask them first, and if they don't listen, i will then yell at them.

- if it is a novice who is extra rude, and is yelling right next to my table, i will snap at them instantaneously. (example- the other night in a tournament, as i was getting ready to shoot a 6 ball, this guy right next to my table at the counter yelled at the top of his lungs across the room, that this girls phone was ringing. to which i instantly snapped, "DO YOU MIND SHUTTING THE f@#% UP! You have people playing in a tournament here trying to concentrate.)

This is a guy who is one of those guys who loves to hear himself talk, and can't shut up once he starts, is an idiot, AND has a loud annoying voice as well. PLUS, he's been yelled at numerous times in the past for the same type of thing.
He just doesn't get it, so in those instances, since i'm paying table time, and i'm paying an entry fee, and they are not. FU@$ 'EM! I'll yell at them every time!

and i am either fiercely liked or disliked. It is rare that i ever fall in between.

I can solve your dilemma. When you begin to ask questions like this to your friends do they walk away (disliked) or listen (liked). If they walked away would you try to stop them (agressive) or wave bye (passive).

Terry

 

[SUPERSTAR]

I can solve your dilemma. When you begin to ask questions like this to your friends do they walk away (disliked) or listen (liked). If they walked away would you try to stop them (agressive) or wave bye (passive).

Terry

You asking me, or Jude?

 

[Tbeaux]

You asking me, or Jude?

Both!

Terry

 

[sonia]

What's this got to do with the topic? I don't understand.

YOU NEVER DO, ROSENSTOCK.

 

[JimS]

I'll comment quick because I have an appointment to make. Believe it or not, I fall into the passive/liked category. Although I have fun with these forums, no harm is intended. I can't help it if people take me too seriously.

There you go, doing it again. You know that you ran your mouth inappropriately and to cover your butt you blame the injured party telling them they are thin skinned or take you too seriously. You don't have the guts to stand up like a man (like Grady did) and say I WAS WRONG AND I"M SORRY. Just a loudmouthed immature punk kid. You wouldn't talk like you did to a mans face.... just on the internet where you can't be touched when you deserve to be whupped good.

And this is not me being an asshole or being aggressive...it's called assertive. It's me telling you the truth, which you would be able to see the truth because your huge ego will get in the way of the truth sinking in, just like that ego keeps you from doing the right thing by making an apology when it's warranted.

 

[catscradle]

All of the above - submissive sucker. assertive and reassertive, too assertive, enough already - go do something else......

John

John, if nothing else you give an apt description of yourself, but you're okay just the same.

 

[drivermaker]

I don't know what category I'd fall into. Here is an excerpt from the dialogue of me in a tournament match:

Opponent:Good hit?
Me: YOU SHUT YOUR F$%#ING MOUTH YOU SCUMBAG!!!!!

I guess that puts me in the passive category.

As far as being liked, people point and laugh at me whenever I enter the poolroom, so I guess that means I'm funny and that people like me.

LMFAO...funny post!

 

[coastydad]

Nice or not

Ever since Splinterhands posted his morality question, I've been thinking about the characterstics necessary to survive in the pool kingdom. It isn't always cut and dried. The best of them will frequently change their approach according to the situation but overall there is a general perception that you carry regardless of what you did that day.

When dealing with disputes, are you generally:
a. Passive
b. Aggressive

In general are you:
a. Liked
b. Disliked


If you can, give an example of how you may be Passive/Liked, Passive/Disliked, Aggressive/Liked, Aggressive/Disliked. Do you find yourself falling into two catagories at times?

It depends on the issue. For the most part I feel I'm generally liked and try to treat people the way that I would like to be treated. Most of the time, disputes are just BS power trips by people who have low self esteem anyway. However; if you mess with my family, pets, cues or cars I will most definitely go Genghis Khan on your ass.

 

[Jude Rosenstock]

YOU NEVER DO, ROSENSTOCK.

Sonia, I worry about you sometimes. I think you're home, surfing the internet, seeking attention desperately. You antagonize strangers hoping that someone will finally notice you. I feel for you woman. It's okay. We all feel that way sometimes. Eventually though, I found a friend and then another and another and so on. I was able to socialize and fit-in. I was three-years-old but nobody said it was too late for you.

 

[Jude Rosenstock]

I bring all of this up because recently, I found myself backing down from an argument simply because I didn't want to be preceived as a fanatic. Later, my friend scolded me and said "Sometimes it's necessary to make a scene. Sometimes you have to let everyone know that your opponent did something wrong so that it doesn't happen again."

I still don't get into many arguments and I try to be as considerate as possible when playing someone else. I take bathroom/cigarette breaks on my turn (preferrably between racks), I rack to the best of my ability, I sit and don't talk. However, if my opponent doesn't fall in-line, sometimes, on occasion, I'll make a point of it.

I do this not only because I want to correct the immediate problem but because I think it's important to let people know that I won't tollerate problem-opponents. If I have a poor-racker and the gaps are horribly obvious, I might say loudly,"Wow, this is really bad. I'm racking for myself from now on." I did this in four matches spanning two tournaments. I rarely get bad racks now. I don't get ridiculous. I witnessed one match recently where a guy called over a ref to watch a hit when any foul would have been obvious. That move, I considered to be aggressive/disliked behaivor. The person he was playing didn't argue which I also considered to be passive/liked behaivor. Had it been me, I would have suggested to the referee the side-line sharking and how it was obviously not close and requested a sportsmanship violation (something that stays with you beyond the match and tournament).

I don't know what's absolutely best. I would definitely consider Tony Robles to be passive/liked so ability has nothing to do with aggressive personalities. There are also people who I consider to be aggressive/disliked though away from the table, they're perfectly civil. I just thought it would be interesting to see people's self-perception in this regard. Pool is inherently littered with arguments because of the beautiful subtlties. I was curious as to how everyone approached them.

 

[fxskater]

Ever since Splinterhands posted his morality question, I've been thinking about the characterstics necessary to survive in the pool kingdom. It isn't always cut and dried. The best of them will frequently change their approach according to the situation but overall there is a general perception that you carry regardless of what you did that day.

When dealing with disputes, are you generally:
a. Passive
b. Aggressive

In general are you:
a. Liked
b. Disliked


If you can, give an example of how you may be Passive/Liked, Passive/Disliked, Aggressive/Liked, Aggressive/Disliked. Do you find yourself falling into two catagories at times?

It depends if its an uneducated POOL IDIOT, then i am Aggressive/Disliked.
If it is someone that is educated, then i am Aggressive/Liked. I have a style of being offensive and aggressive, but clearly getting my point across. I get almost over aggressive in a joking type way, but make sure that I am using LOGIC to help someone understand. Most people GET my aggressiveness and don't get upset, but some people don't always understand im joking and turn out to be dicks. I can generally read people well enough that i won't piss em off though.

 

[Sweet Marissa]

Besides, if you're good with people and situations, you can always turn the dislike into like at a later time and everything will be fun again.

We'll see

 

[Sweet Marissa]

I'm a politically incorrect Christian nerd who relies on sarcasm to make people laugh, usually at someone's (most often my own) expense.

 

[drivermaker]

We'll see

Are you speaking for yourself? Then I guess you're right...we'll see.

Nope...I take that back and have to edit it now. You will. By going back to your original little storyline just like you did in your last post about being a good little nerd Christian girl that's just sooooo cutesy-oootsy and sweet and would never do anything outside the norm.

Start the flirtateous crap with a few guys, wrap them around your finger with a ray of hope that they might get some if they tow the line, spice it up with just a tad of sexual innuendos (possibly heavier if needed), and you'll be Queen of the Nile again.

Hell, if there was a choice between me as a pool player and you waving your scented panties in front of their nostrils...I don't stand a chance!

Watcha say guys....Me or Mawissa....(I plan on losing this one by a landslide)

 

[Jude Rosenstock]

Are you speaking for yourself? Then I guess you're right...we'll see.

Nope...I take that back and have to edit it now. You will. By going back to your original little storyline just like you did in your last post about being a good little nerd Christian girl that's just sooooo cutesy-oootsy and sweet and would never do anything outside the norm.

Start the flirtateous crap with a few guys, wrap them around your finger with a ray of hope that they might get some if they tow the line, spice it up with just a tad of sexual innuendos (possibly heavier if needed), and you'll be Queen of the Nile again.

Hell, if there was a choice between me as a pool player and you waving your scented panties in front of their nostrils...I don't stand a chance!

Watcha say guys....Me or Mawissa....(I plan on losing this one by a landslide)

Um, did you say scented panties? I don't think there's a contest here, is there?

 

[Sweet Marissa]

Are you speaking for yourself? Then I guess you're right...we'll see.

Nope...I take that back and have to edit it now. You will. By going back to your original little storyline just like you did in your last post about being a good little nerd Christian girl that's just sooooo cutesy-oootsy and sweet and would never do anything outside the norm.

Start the flirtateous crap with a few guys, wrap them around your finger with a ray of hope that they might get some if they tow the line, spice it up with just a tad of sexual innuendos (possibly heavier if needed), and you'll be Queen of the Nile again.

Hell, if there was a choice between me as a pool player and you waving your scented panties in front of their nostrils...I don't stand a chance!

Watcha say guys....Me or Mawissa....(I plan on losing this one by a landslide)

There's the Drivermaker we all know and love But I don't flirt with anyone here, so I'm a wee bit confused. Is being nice considered flirting?

 

[drivermaker]

There's the Drivermaker we all know and love But I don't flirt with anyone here, so I'm a wee bit confused. Is being nice considered flirting?

A better question is...Is being a hypocrite being a hypocrite?

(Hi...my name is Mawissa....I'm a wittle angel, tee-hee-hee-hee. I don't flirt with anyone on here, I'm just a nice girl. I'm a vewy good Christian girl with no lascivious thoughts or actions. Tee-hee-hee-hee. I'm in wuv with a vewy special someone on here now and I'm saving myself for marriage...tee-hee-hee-hee.

 

[Jude Rosenstock]

A better question is...Is being a hypocrite being a hypocrite?

(Hi...my name is Mawissa....I'm a wittle angel, tee-hee-hee-hee. I don't flirt with anyone on here, I'm just a nice girl. I'm a vewy good Christian girl with no lascivious thoughts or actions. Tee-hee-hee-hee. I'm in wuv with a vewy special someone on here now and I'm saving myself for marriage...tee-hee-hee-hee.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

[Sweet Marissa]

A better question is...Is being a hypocrite being a hypocrite?

(Hi...my name is Mawissa....I'm a wittle angel, tee-hee-hee-hee. I don't flirt with anyone on here, I'm just a nice girl. I'm a vewy good Christian girl with no lascivious thoughts or actions. Tee-hee-hee-hee. I'm in wuv with a vewy special someone on here now and I'm saving myself for marriage...tee-hee-hee-hee.

Whoa... I never said I was waiting for marriage.

Marissa << no angel, but then, who is?