Okay, that's it -I'm sticking to books and videos

T

Troublemaker

Registered
Okay, I just need to vent a little bit.....My latest coach/mentor just said he can't practice with me anymore because he doesn't want his girlfriend to be uncomfortable with him coaching women.

My first mentor stopped practicing with me because he suspected that his girlfriend and I were more than just friends (which was complete fantasy) when we both coincidentally missed our lessons one day.

Second mentor stopped talking to me because after a practice session we went to dinner once, and he thought it was a date. But when he found out I was only just interested in the pool/friendship, his ego was too bruised to keep working with me.

This third time is really too bad, because he is a really good teacher, and I made sure that it was clear that I was only interested in pool and friendship because I didn't want things to get weird. And they got weird anyway.

All three of them coach other people, men and women, so there was no special arrangement for just me.

I do sometimes pay for lessons from a certified instructor, which is great, and always professional. But its not the same thing as someone who is willing to take you under their wing and really get to know your game and work with you on a regular basis. There aren't a lot of women players in my area who could be mentors, so I guess I'm on my own for now.

I hate to whine, because these things happen, and I'm kind of used to putting up with most of what comes with being one of the only women in the room, but it really frustrates me when my being a girl gets in the way of improving my game.

Okay, thanks. I feel better now.
 
Doesn't have to be so. Sorry thats happened to you.

What area do you live in?

SPF=randyg
 
That's too bad. chances are you look too good to be hanging out in a pool hall. you should try golf.


i'm joking. good luck finding someone to coach you
 
igotfelt said:
OK, post a pic and we'll see if all this trouble you are causing is justified or not........
Click to expand...

That's pretty crass. :shakehead:
 
Last edited:
poolplayer2093 said:
That's too bad. chances are you look too good to be hanging out in a pool hall. you should try golf.
Click to expand...

Poolplayer2093--I'm just old enough to find that possibility kind of consoling.

Randyg--I'll send you a PM.
 
T said:
Troublemaker, why did you pick that screen name? :D
Click to expand...

My teammates always call me that, because I'm the good girl on the team....so they blame me for everything that goes wrong and all the trouble they get into. Of course, that context doesn't really follow me here....

Plus it starts with P, rhymes with T, that stands for Trouble"
 
Last edited:
Troublemaker said:
Kind of an old joke for this board....I knew someone was going to say it. Glad I wasn't disappointed.
Click to expand...


Sorry Trouble, I didn't want to say it...I had to.:grin-square:

But on a more serious note, give Randy G. a try. You won't be dissapointed. Many very good players have improved after spending time with Randy.
 
Troublemaker said:
Poolplayer2093--I'm just old enough to find that possibility kind of consoling.

Randyg--I'll send you a PM.
Click to expand...
I'm just curious, why wouldn't you simply post what area you're in, as opposed to only sending someone a PM about it?
thinking.gif


Sounds like your "coaches" haven't been very professional, or you're extremely attractive. :p
 
Troublemaker said:
Okay, I just need to vent a little bit.....My latest coach/mentor just said he can't practice with me anymore because he doesn't want his girlfriend to be uncomfortable with him coaching women.

My first mentor stopped practicing with me because he suspected that his girlfriend and I were more than just friends (which was complete fantasy) when we both coincidentally missed our lessons one day.

Second mentor stopped talking to me because after a practice session we went to dinner once, and he thought it was a date. But when he found out I was only just interested in the pool/friendship, his ego was too bruised to keep working with me.

This third time is really too bad, because he is a really good teacher, and I made sure that it was clear that I was only interested in pool and friendship because I didn't want things to get weird. And they got weird anyway.

All three of them coach other people, men and women, so there was no special arrangement for just me.

I do sometimes pay for lessons from a certified instructor, which is great, and always professional. But its not the same thing as someone who is willing to take you under their wing and really get to know your game and work with you on a regular basis. There aren't a lot of women players in my area who could be mentors, so I guess I'm on my own for now.

I hate to whine, because these things happen, and I'm kind of used to putting up with most of what comes with being one of the only women in the room, but it really frustrates me when my being a girl gets in the way of improving my game.

Okay, thanks. I feel better now.
Click to expand...
Yes, you are whining. Stop using your gender as an excuse for not improving. Now go eat some cookies and make an appointment to see Randy G.
 
I understand what you're going through. And it sucks! I've had similar situations, especially where the guy thinks I'm interested in more than just friendship and the sport. Then when I tell him I'm not, they get hurt, their egos get bruised and things get awkward and I lose a mentor, teammate and most importantly a friend. And I've had boyfriends that don't understand either and that has caused major problems. Another thing that sucks is other people's perception of what's going on. Heaven forbid a guy and a gal should play a couple games or maybe have a beer and hang out without their boyfriends-girlfriends-friends jumping to conclusions and gossipping or dealing out crappy comments and ribbing. I think guys are especially bad at the whole concept of guys and girls being friends and nothing more.

Because there are very few women active in pool, it's difficult to find women that can really teach and mentor other women. Actually I haven't even found very many women that want to hang out and devote as much time to playing as I like to. So if you are a woman trying to get better or even just wanting to play, most of the time you have to hang out with the guys. That leads to all kinds of bullcrap. Men think you're flirting with them or that you want them :oink: :rotflmao1:. Women think you're a hussy or that you think you're too good to hang out and play with other women. But all you wanna do is play and learn!

There are certainly a lot of disadvantages of being a woman in a male dominated sport, but I'm sticking around anyway! :nanner:
 
I feel for you. I cannot name one time I went to play pool locally (in any state I have been in) that guys did not try something. Either they want to "prove" that they can beat me because they are male or they want to pick me up.

Even when I told them I have a boyfriend or I am married and just want to play pool; they didn't care. Of course they weren't on league or pros either. Just jerks in bars or bowling alleys. Yeah, it felt good to kick their butts in pool. :wink: They usually say, "you're just lucky". After about the 3rd time they pack their bags.:eek:

Hang in there. Sounds like these men were unprofessional about it. Been there done that. Try to find a league pool hall not just a bar. Don't know where you live so be hard for me to recommend some place. Did you try going to Mike's "Billiards Space" on the homepage and searching for someone to spar with? Everybody knows somebody.

Take care,
Donna:cool:
 
It's funny, I often go to billiards halls looking for a game (no money, just for fun), and have seen women playing by themselves, but I haven't offered or asked to play them because I don't want them to think I'm trying to pick them up. :embarrassed2:
 
hfelsh said:
It's funny, I often go to billiards halls looking for a game (no money, just for fun), and have seen women playing by themselves, but I haven't offered or asked to play them because I don't want them to think I'm trying to pick them up. :embarrassed2:
Click to expand...

Walk up to her, say excuse me, I am looking to practice and want to know if you are interested shooting some pool. Simple and direct. If you are serious, and she is a focused player she'll respect your offer.

Just don't use the Joey from Friends line.:p
:cool:
ps-If there are green fees offer to pay 1/2
 
hfelsh said:
I'm just curious, why wouldn't you simply post what area you're in, as opposed to only sending someone a PM about it?
thinking.gif


Sounds like your "coaches" haven't been very professional, or you're extremely attractive. :p
Click to expand...

Exactly what I was thinking.
 
Get someone over 65 to teach you. Then all you have to lookout for is if you see him popping big blue pills with a look of lust on his face.

Good luck to you...I can see where it could become a problem for some guys. Johnnyt
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top