Pet peeve: asses on tables

[Dhakala]

I've become outspoken lately about people who sit on pool tables where I play. I helped a room owner recover a few tables recently. The number of cushions that were broken loose from their glue in butt-width spots dismayed me. In one room whose tables' pockets hang on adjustable hinges, I find some whose backs are no longer vertical due to people sitting on their outer rims, causing hard-hit balls to rebound up and out over the rail.

Today, a dude of about 220 pounds caught my eye, with his overflowing butt on the rail while BSing with his girlfriend. So when he passed me on his way back from the restroom, I beckoned him over to say,

"Y'know, sitting on the rails bends the cushions down and makes them come loose, ruining people's banks. So please, stop sitting on the rails."

"I wasn't sitting on no rail."

"Yes, you were. I've seen you do it three times in the past half-hour."

"I didn't realize I was sitting on a rail."

"Well, now you know. So please stop it."

Normally, I would offer a wager to a guy who doesn't know where his ass is, but my dance card was already full.

Now, a house-broken person would accept such mild chastisement with chagrin and meekly sin no more. But Mr. Big chose to come back a few minutes later.

"Are you one of the owners?" he asked me.

"No. Would you like to meet the man whose $3,000 property you've been damaging?"

"You saw me sitting on a table from way over here (3 tables away)? I find that rather disingenius." (I guess he was leading up to, "You're just picking on me 'cause I'm black.")

"The word is 'disingenuous,' and who the **** are you that I should lie to?"

We exchanged level stares for a moment, then he walked away. The next time I looked up, Dis Genius and his gf had left the building.

The umbrage that many railbirds take when politely asked to stop wrecking other people's property and money-making opportunities confounds me. I don't know where the idea that there's a Constitutional right to sit on public pool tables originated, but it's got to go.

Do you correct such morons, or do you just let it slide?

 

[TheConArtist]

Correct them, it just makes my stomach cringe when someone places the chalk upside down.

 

[jjinfla]

Not my job mon.

Besides, I don't want to meet his friends - Mr Smith & Wesson.

Jake

 

[Craig Fales]

I do the same thing...can't stand it when someone sits their big backside on the tables....
________

 

[ShootingArts]

my annoyance

I have been known to quietly point out to people they are destroying the equipment but I'm not going to make an issue of it. That is one of the things the owner and employees of the place are responsible to take care of or let slide.

What I find annoying is yuppie pieces of crap that come in playing ugly american. This doesn't apply to all of course but some come in and think they own the place. No respect for other players or the equipment, loud, obnoxious, and extremely foul mouthed when you know that is the only time they use such language. They sound like a bunch of junior high students playing hooky.

One ratcheted things up a notch by not respecting my equipment recently so at that point it was time for me to explain things to him. Then he was whiney. "If you would have told me". If he wasn't arrogant and a moron he wouldn't have needed to be told. Common sense and courtesy would have avoided the issue.

Did I mention I despise asses that think they are slumming and everything and everybody around them are trash? These are the ones that give pool halls a bad name.

Hu

I've become outspoken lately about people who sit on pool tables where I play.

 

[Rich R.]

Do you correct such morons, or do you just let it slide?

If they don't seem to be a real player, and they may not know better, I politely let them know they are damaging the table.
Unfortunately, a lot of the people I see sitting on tables are players, who should know better. Usually, the players sitting on the tables are the ones who complain about the equipment the most.

 

[BillyKoda]

Friday night we had a big oaf playing pool and he would put his bottled beer on the playing surface about 6 inches from the rail while he racked the balls. The first time I grabbed his beer and said don't do it again, the second time I threw his beer in the trash. He out weighed me by about 100 pounds but that is my home table and I'm not going to let people ruin it. He was very drunk and I got some pleasure out of watching him look for his beer for about 5 minutes after I tossed it. He must have been out of money because I didn't see him with another beer that night. LOL

BK

 

[Dhakala]

I have been known to quietly point out to people they are destroying the equipment but I'm not going to make an issue of it.

That's how I do it, too. If I get any pushback, I offer to introduce the clueless to the owner. But in this case, Mr. Dis Genius impugned my honesty, so I then dispensed with diplomacy.

That is one of the things the owner and employees of the place are responsible to take care of or let slide.

Hm. "Not my business" is how people get raped in front of 40 able-bodied witnesses. I consider myself a business partner of those whose tables I rent regularly in order to make money. We all have to do our share to help our favorite venues remain healthily profitable.

What I find annoying is yuppie pieces of crap that come in playing ugly american. This doesn't apply to all of course but some come in and think they own the place. No respect for other players or the equipment, loud, obnoxious, and extremely foul mouthed when you know that is the only time they use such language. They sound like a bunch of junior high students playing hooky.[/quote[

(snip)

Did I mention I despise asses that think they are slumming and everything and everybody around them are trash? These are the ones that give pool halls a bad name.

Ah! You mean air hockey players.

 

[Dhakala]

Not my job mon.

Besides, I don't want to meet his friends - Mr Smith & Wesson.

Jake

Pshaw. I've corrected multiple offenders at one time who were covered with prison tattoos, receiving no more than the dirty look of a schoolboy reprimanded for slouching in class.

I must be luckier or scarier than I think. You probably are, too.

 

[Dhakala]

If they don't seem to be a real player, and they may not know better, I politely let them know they are damaging the table.
Unfortunately, a lot of the people I see sitting on tables are players, who should know better. Usually, the players sitting on the tables are the ones who complain about the equipment the most.

Why do you fail to correct "real" players? They are the least excusable.

 

[chefjeff]

One thing that would help is if pool halls had nice places to sit instead of one or two crappy stools far away from the tables.

Jeff Livingston

 

[Dhakala]

Friday night we had a big oaf playing pool and he would put his bottled beer on the playing surface about 6 inches from the rail while he racked the balls. The first time I grabbed his beer and said don't do it again, the second time I threw his beer in the trash. He out weighed me by about 100 pounds but that is my home table and I'm not going to let people ruin it. He was very drunk and I got some pleasure out of watching him look for his beer for about 5 minutes after I tossed it. He must have been out of money because I didn't see him with another beer that night. LOL

BK

We would get along famously, Billy! The last time someone put a drink on my table, I plunked a cigarette into it.

Which reminds me: when negotiating rules with the demonstratedly careless, I specify that getting ashes on the table means loss of game. And I mean it, some of them have learned.

 

[ShootingArts]

you are right of course

Hm. "Not my business" is how people get raped in front of 40 able-bodied witnesses. I consider myself a business partner of those whose tables I rent regularly in order to make money. We all have to do our share to help our favorite venues remain healthily profitable.

You are right of course, however butting into the owner's business is also how you get ran out of places. The level of input I give really depends on who is running the place and how capable they are. A small lady ran my favorite pool hall years ago. She rarely said a word when she had a problem. Ten or twenty regulars escorting the offender(s) to the door was more than adequate.

Of course I play one place where climbing on the tables is fine with the owner. I was a bit stunned the first time I saw a guy well over 250 pounds climb up on a table and crawl over to his shooting position. Those Diamond tables are stout! My first impulse is to correct such behavior but in this place I would have been the one that was wrong. I still can't see myself climbing on a table though, too many years of conditioning.

Hu

 

[Dhakala]

You are right of course, however butting into the owner's business is also how you get ran out of places.

Huh. I've never seen that happen when customers are protecting the owner's interests.

Of course I play one place where climbing on the tables is fine with the owner. I was a bit stunned the first time I saw a guy well over 250 pounds climb up on a table and crawl over to his shooting position. Those Diamond tables are stout! My first impulse is to correct such behavior but in this place I would have been the one that was wrong. I still can't see myself climbing on a table though, too many years of conditioning.

Hu

I can't see myself playing on a table that's been so abused, or in a pool hall that's run like a daycare center for the developmentally delayed. Why do you do it?

 

[Dhakala]

One thing that would help is if pool halls had nice places to sit instead of one or two crappy stools far away from the tables.

Every pool room opens with plenty of nice stools. The way to keep them is to run vandals out of the place promptly.

 

[vagabond]

I am not afraid of Mr.Smith & Mr.wesson and I am not a fool to directly talk to the irrational & irresponsible people.whenever I see such things I go to the cash register and inform that person managing the place.

 

[Williebetmore]

At Mark Wilson's Billiards Bullpen in Collinsville, IL the policy is not sitting on the tables, and not even any leaning on the table. You are not to put your hand on the tables unless shooting. Violators are reminded nicely but firmly (I still find myself leaning on one occasionally). Though I don't think there have been serial offenders; I know they would be asked to leave. The equipment, as a result, is perfect and pristine - a REAL pleasure to play on if you are serious about the game.

On the wall at the Bullpen is a picture of the late Gene Nagy, sitting on a pool table. They put a cartoon balloon coming out of his mouth so it appears he is saying something like, "I am a 400 ball runner, but I shouldn't be sitting on this table."

 

[Dhakala]

I am not afraid of Mr.Smith & Mr.wesson and I am not a fool to directly talk to the irrational & irresponsible people.

Who you callin' a fool, Willis?

whenever I see such things I go to the cash register and inform that person managing the place.

Well, that's probably best if one lacks the social skills to handle awkward situations appropriately.

 

[catscradle]

...The umbrage that many railbirds take when politely asked to stop wrecking other people's property and money-making opportunities confounds me. I don't know where the idea that there's a Constitutional right to sit on public pool tables originated, but it's got to go.

Do you correct such morons, or do you just let it slide?

I generally let it slide, but the right thing to do is exactly what you did. The place I play I don't think the owner has enough knowledge to care anyway. At any rate he doesn't care for whatever reason.

It amazes me as well how upset people get when all you do is make them aware of the unintended consequences of their behavior.

 

[Dhakala]

At Mark Wilson's Billiards Bullpen in Collinsville, IL the policy is not sitting on the tables, and not even any leaning on the table. You are not to put your hand on the tables unless shooting.

That's my portable policy, too. "Don't touch my table. You're disturbing the feng shui!"