Plastic Chalk Holders keep your cue case CLEAN

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
 
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.
 
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'
 
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'

Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
 
"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?" - Yogi Berra
 
I can make these holders any size that you like. Just PM me, and I'll make one, or more, for you!
 
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why? She said, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
 
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then, I realized that God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked Him for forgive me.
 
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot ..."
 
Things Confucius did NOT say..... Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
 
if i could like those posts i would im laughing my ass off god those were great

Ever since i first commenced it i said im against it
 
I was showing a nasty rash on my penis to my doctor today, he seemed pretty uncomfortable and didn't wanna touch it. He just said make an appointment on Monday....and then carried on pushing his shopping cart around Kroger.
 
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