Psychology in Competition

pocket

pocket

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I can't figure out why losing bothers me far more than the satisfaction I get in winning?

I know I'm competitive and want to win. It's one of the reasons I enjoy the game but its just never as thrilling to win as it is irritating to lose.

I'll tell myself, meh, he missed that easy shot, I got lucky on that leave etc.
 
pocket said:
I can't figure out why losing bothers me far more than the satisfaction I get in winning?

I know I'm competitive and want to win. It's one of the reasons I enjoy the game but its just never as thrilling to win as it is irritating to lose.

I'll tell myself, meh, he missed that easy shot, I got lucky on that leave etc.
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Maybe you believe that there's more said about losing than there is about winning?

This could help.
 
"In economics and decision theory, loss aversion refers to people's tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses to acquiring gains. Most studies suggest that losses are twice as powerful, psychologically, as gains."
 
Interesting.
This is the reason I quit playing blackjack years ago.
I hate losing more than I love to win.
I don't get it either.
steven
 
im different than that, i tend to view how played as being more important than outcome.

Did i play well and come up short? im perfectly fine with that outcome.

Did i play bad, and other guy played worse? well glad that mess is over.

Did i play bad and lose? well, thats what is supposed to happen

Did i play well, and so did opponent,and i came out with win? Man tough set, good shooting, good luck.

I dont get mad about results, I do however, get mad, mostly at myself, sometimes when i play bad.
 
Just like when I was racing every weekend. At first when you win you are happy for a week and mad for a day if you lose.
After racing for awhile you are mad for week when you lose and happy for only a day after a win.
 
Being ungry (keeping a civilized behaviour and respect to the opponent and the game) upon defeat can be useful as long as this energy is used in the right direction: working even harder on the game, with genuine criticism on one's own mistakes but forgiveness at the same time. It's only human to lose, the way the experience gained is used is the one thing that matters.
Best,
Petros
 
pocket said:
I can't figure out why losing bothers me far more than the satisfaction I get in winning?

I know I'm competitive and want to win. It's one of the reasons I enjoy the game but its just never as thrilling to win as it is irritating to lose.

I'll tell myself, meh, he missed that easy shot, I got lucky on that leave etc.
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Common! it is human instinct you always want/expect to get the best for your sole! so it is natural to hate loosing more than getting/winning for all. Now say the winning is $1 million dollar i am sure it is going to be much better than loosing $20.00
 
Yep!

owll said:
im different than that, i tend to view how played as being more important than outcome.

Did i play well and come up short? im perfectly fine with that outcome.

Did i play bad, and other guy played worse? well glad that mess is over.

Did i play bad and lose? well, thats what is supposed to happen

Did i play well, and so did opponent,and i came out with win? Man tough set, good shooting, good luck.

I dont get mad about results, I do however, get mad, mostly at myself, sometimes when i play bad.
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Based on what you said, you will always enjoy the game and are likely to play a very good speed if you don't already.
 
You need to read about perfectionism and fear of failure. Both play important roles in sports psychology and when dealt with allow you to play with confidence and trust while you get more pleasure out of your wins and lessons out of your losses.
 
So if I understand this right then you get upset when you lose but feel little to no elation when you win?

Then to me winning is not challenging enough. Play tougher players then winning means more.

I refer winning in pool as the high you can't buy. You have to earn it with victory over tough competition. I have never failed to get euphoria from winning a tough match. I have been much less excited to win the easy ones but still happy to win.
 
JB Cases said:
So if I understand this right then you get upset when you lose but feel little to no elation when you win?

Then to me winning is not challenging enough. Play tougher players then winning means more.

I refer winning in pool as the high you can't buy. You have to earn it with victory over tough competition. I have never failed to get euphoria from winning a tough match. I have been much less excited to win the easy ones but still happy to win.
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I think what he's saying is he always finds a flaw in his performance, even in victory and therfore feels less deserving.

I maintain his problem lies in perfectionism.
H
Not only can perfectionism take the joy out of competing but i can also create problems that prevent you from playing your best, such as fear of making mistakes which cause you to over try or play tight and perfectionist tend to breakdown easier after making mistakes.
 
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JB Cases said:
So if I understand this right then you get upset when you lose but feel little to no elation when you win?
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Not exactly. I enjoy winning sure, like I said competition is why I play. However, like I said, I hate losing more than I enjoy winning.

(((Satori))) said:
I think what he's saying is he always finds a flaw in his performance, even in victory and therfore feels less deserving.
...
such as fear of making mistakes which cause you to over try or play tight and perfectionist tend to breakdown easier after making mistakes.
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This has some truth for me.
 
Perfectionism can cause fear, anger and despair, but if you learn how to harness it properly, it's the ultimate power to success. Without perfectionism, you cannot be the best. If you settle for being only good, the success doesn't fall into your lap by accident. The paradox is trying to be something you cannot think of while playing a tough match :)
 
I am not sure if many players will agree with my opinion, but, over the years I have judged myself and others on effort. If my complete effort was given and I lose, I am fine with winning or losing. If my competition put better effort in the match and won, it's easy to shake his hand and easier for me to process the loss without getting upset. The sooner I took this approach, the sooner more respect came to me which included a little more fear in my opponents which gave me a few more trips to the table. Lose like a Champion = win like a Champion. I remember a large amateur international event years ago had players of every game track their eight ball run outs and it was like 4 to 6 % of all games were ran out from the first trip to the table. That meant that the other roughly 95 % of wins came from effort and table-shot selection including a little luck of a roll here and there. I also then consider the fact that it then comes down to who loses the game, not the person who wins it. Not sure how those percentages come into the end of game process, but, I think your feelings get into this end of game process as when you had the chance to end the game and don't, your angry, when you win, you are correct in knowing that the other person did not end the game and the percentage went your way. Work on effort. I blew a game the other night in the simple fact that I shot my cue ball around the eight ball to get into an area instead of on the next ball in a simple run out when my opponent did not finish a table run against me. Instead of putting the cue ball on the next shot, not taking the effort to know where I should have parked that cue ball, I just hit it in the middle of three of my balls left on the table with no plan. My lack of effort on one shot got me out of position to end up losing the game. I shook his hand, did not get angry, just reinforced that my lack of effort was less than his. I was lucky to get to the table in the first place, got six points for the team instead of a zero, but, of course, if I would have finished that table which I should have, I and everyone knew that I was lucky to get to the table. His lack of effort to end the game gave me a chance and my lack of effort gave it right back to him.
 
Ego

Great discussion - in the book "the inner game of tennis" gets into this a little. Many players tie their "worth" as a human into this game - and this really puts a lot of pressure on people. Lose a match and you are a loser. It has helped tremendously for me to keep perspective that in the end this is just a game. My goal now is just put forth a good competitive game and have fun.
 
Run the Century said:
Great discussion - in the book "the inner game of tennis" gets into this a little. Many players tie their "worth" as a human into this game - and this really puts a lot of pressure on people. Lose a match and you are a loser. It has helped tremendously for me to keep perspective that in the end this is just a game. My goal now is just put forth a good competitive game and have fun.
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I've read it too, made a huge impact on my game. If you haven't read any sports psychology books, read this. Tennis and pool share many mental areas so you don't have to be a tennis nut to pick this up.:thumbup:
 
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