OK, maybe I'll try to go back and re-film that shot. I hadn't referred to the front of the book since initially skimming it, so I didn't realize that what you intended although you mention the "hard stroke" on the shot page.
A couple other nitpicks:
On shot #8, both of the diagrams show the cue ball travel path that makes it look like it hits ball #4 first. The shot doesn't go this way. Maybe you can clarify it a bit more in words and pictures.
On shot #9, it would seem to make more sense for sightline B to be through ball #11 to the corner pocket, since that is the ball you're trying to make.
Shot #12: Sightline B is mentioned, but never diagrammed.
Shot #17: The instructions say "Shoot directly at the first diamond". I think this should be clarified to "Shoot ball #9 directly at the first diamond" as opposed to interpreting to aim the cue ball at the first diamond.